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[carebear]

He would punch megabeasts 150 tiles away.

WWUD if the mayor mandates production of toy forges?

[Asmageddon]

He'd built 10 giant forges and shove toys inside(along with kids)

WWUD if she gave birth to an elf?

[Scaraban]

Wield that devil spawn in combat, to repent for her sins

WWUD if she was a suspended (projectile) for years and suddenly regains animation?

[Asmageddon]

Hit the target anyway, dead elves don't move.

WWUD if he got a modern-day bazooka with 100 missiles?

[ArKFallen]

He'd use it as a beer mug until the day he becomes !!Urist!! and goes for a drink

WWUD if he/she became Monarch of the Elves?

[Uristocrat]

Mandate the construction of wooden items!

WWUD if he found some elf leather and yellow diamonds?

[PCpaste]

Urist would make some irrisistable diamond-encrusted elf-leather mittins, encircle it with bands of elf leather, and sew images of !!elves!! on it in elf leather. Then give it to the legendary woodcutter. Then make some wooden bolts out of the logs he harvested, then start the cycle all over again untuil they amas an army of axedwarves with elf leather mittins, and wooden axes, then he would sell the excess leather to the elves without telling them what it was, then he would buy out every animal they bring for the next ten years. He would then proceed to show where they get their superior leather, wage war on elves, send out their animals, then slaughter the remaining elves with the Mitten Patrol.

What would Urist do if he was making an artifact and his clothes were made of the material that he needs, and there's none anyplace else?

[Philosoraptor]

Go berserk and kill the Legendary Cook that happens to be best friends with everyone in the fortress.

WWUD if he felt some sort of emotional response to having killed his best friend the legendary cook?

[DuckPolice]

Nothing, he just looked at a masterwork obsidian thong

WWUD if he somehow manage to escape the grid and be hired for a lower management position at walmart?

[PCpaste]

Urist would be fired on his first day for taking all the food off the shelves and laying them neatly in a large square, and taking the shelves themselves and doing the same in another area.

What would Urist do if he was told to make something without a 3x3 or 5x5 square workspace?

[Xvareon]

Immediately get a strange mood and create a 1x1 deployable workshop.

What would be the first quest Urist would create if he was a D&D Dungeon Master?

[Nasikabatrachus]

On the paper is a Quest. In the quest is an adventure. In the adventure is an image of cheese. In the adventure is an elf and dwarves. The Dwarves are striking down the elf.

What would Urist do if he were in a competition with a steam-driven tunnel-digging machine?

[Olith McHuman]

Build an exploding booze powered tunnel digging machine.

What would Urist McEngraver do if he was told to mine out his one and only masterwork engraving?

[Uristocrat]

What would Urist McEngraver do if he was told to mine out his one and only masterwork engraving?

Do it and then punch the mayor in the face and sulk until the masterwork native platinum statue in the dining room cheered him up.

WWUD if he was made the head of an IRL manufacturing worker's union?

[PCpaste]

Urist would demand ungodly ammounts of doors be made, and thus driving the price of doors down to cheaper then a box of name-brand cerial.

What would Urist do if he discovered the secret of how the stonecrafters create the Tardus-like pots?

Shame on you if you actually need what's in this spoiler.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Tardus is from Doctor Who. It's a little blue police box in which is impossibly large on the inside relative to the outside. (Also it can fly, turn invisible, travel through time, bend space... But we're just talking about the fact that it's so much larger on the inside...)