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[Skribbblie]

He would reflect back on how he has actually done each and every one of these things.

WWUD if a hapless hoary marmot was perched on the edge of a cliff, and Urist was trained to be a novice wrestler?

[flame99]

Be chased off of the cliff by the hoary marmot and fall to his death.

WWUD if he was the best axedwarf and there was a goblin siege, but he had a bruised toe?

[SOLDIER First]

Be a little dwarvkid about it and lie in the hospital all day.
WWUD if his best friend died?

[Skribbblie]

Forget to bury the body and get his arm torn off by the ghost.

WWUD if he was the only adult dwarf left in a fortress of 100 children?

[Hectonkhyres]

Realize he was actually a goblin and throw himself into the drowning chamber.

What would Urist do if a wandering surgeon surgically removed his beard and attached it to the fortress hammerer's pet cat?

[SOLDIER First]

Worship the cat.
WWUD if his dad thought he was a goblin and threw himself into the drowning chamber?

[Skribbblie]

Not follow orders, because he's a child, and he does as he pleases!

WWUD if an elf came at him with a wooden sword?

[Hectonkhyres]

WWUD if an elf came at him with a wooden sword?

Become convinced it was the elf's wife.

WWUD if he was allowed to retroactively change his world's worldgen parameters?

[EnigmaticHat]

Minimum Elevation: 300

WWUD if he were in minecraft?

[SOLDIER First]

Go insane from lack of beer.
WWUD if he was in Terraria?

[Skribbblie]

Find a way to trigger HFS.

WWUD if dwarves discovered drills and chainsaws?

[SOLDIER First]

DRILL EVERYTHING.
-random bystander- Even the cats?
EVEN THE GODDAMN CATS.
WWUD if all the cats were drill'd?

[Skribbblie]

He would go berserk with his drills and chainsaws because five of the cats adopted him.

WWUD if he learned how to read?

[SOLDIER First]

He would learn to play Human Fortress and edit the raws to make dwarvs playable.
Failing miserably, there would be wagonmeat everywhere.
WWUD if he fell into a waterfall?

[towerdude]

Got crushed by a giant sponge.

WWUD if he was a marksdwarf with plenty of bolts.