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Author Topic: What Would Urist Do?  (Read 647982 times)

DogsRNice

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5310 on: December 08, 2013, 08:07:30 pm »

give elfs a wooden log with a image of treedeath the god of killing trees in charcoal

WWUD if he had a clone of himself
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Lagslayer

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5311 on: December 09, 2013, 12:54:29 am »

Argue with his clone over who who is supposed to build that wall sealing off the caverns, then get interrupted by the giant flying iguana made of fire with deadly dust.

WWUD if he met Old Man Henderson?

Eric Blank

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5312 on: December 09, 2013, 12:59:58 am »

Worship him. Then be killed by him.

WWUD if Old Man Henderson showed up as a megabeast to destroy the fortress?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

BlackFlyme

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5313 on: December 09, 2013, 01:09:08 am »

Worship him. Then be killed by him.

WWUD if Old Man Henderson showed up as a megabeast to destroy the fortress?

Start carving out as many gnome statues and figurines as dwarvenly possible as an attempt to appease him. Shortly thereafter having the fort destroyed by both exploding hockey pucks and horrors from the deep as Henderson walks off with every single figurine, statue, and engraving of a gnome within the fort.

That crazy old man would probably capture some live ones from the caverns, too.

WWUD if Hastur came looking for Old Man Henderson shortly afterwords?
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blazing glory

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5314 on: December 09, 2013, 03:01:23 am »

Care to explain movie/book/game refernce?
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Scruffy

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5315 on: December 09, 2013, 11:55:01 am »

WWUD if Hastur came looking for Old Man Henderson shortly afterwords?
Tell the yellow robed sissy to go away. Dorfs don't like reading.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What would the ELVES do if Urist sold them the nice leather bound tome (menacing with spikes of literature) the weirdo in yellow left behind?

Care to explain movie/book/game refernce?
Old Man Henderson is an iconic character from a Call of Cthulhu campaign posted in /tg/ of 4chan a few years ago.
A drunken and scottish, possibly insane marysue character that managed deeds that no CoC player should be able to. Had a gnome fetish. Killed Hastur
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson
The King in Yellow is a being from Robert Chamber's book The King in Yellow (1895). He had borrowed the name Hastur from some previous writer I can't remember and used the name a couple of times (but not for the King in Yellow character) Later Lovecraft inserted both the name and the play King in Yellow (a play that "plays" a central role in The King in Yellow) into his Cthulhu mythos but I don't think that he never diractly called the King in Yellow character 'Hastur'. Then August Derleth started calling the King in Yellow (the character) 'Hastur' and used it in his Cthulhu mythos books.
Basically Hastur is a character from The King in Yellow that was later named and inserted into Cthulhu mythos. An eldrich beign that covers itself in a yellow robe and doesn't show its face. The first act of the King in Yellow play (a play script) within the King in Yellow book is supposed to be extremely interesting and makes the readers eager to continue reading. When they start reading the second act things start getting a bit strange and squigly...
« Last Edit: December 09, 2013, 12:17:20 pm by Scruffy »
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

BlackFlyme

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5316 on: December 09, 2013, 12:09:53 pm »

Care to explain movie/book/game refernce?

Ever read any of H.P. Lovecraft's stuff?

Hastur is an ancient god in Lovecraft's series of books. Henderson came from the D20 game "Call of Cthulhu". He was someone's character, and is one of the few people to actually beat the game.
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Scruffy

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5317 on: December 09, 2013, 12:38:28 pm »

Care to explain movie/book/game refernce?

Ever read any of H.P. Lovecraft's stuff?

Hastur is an ancient god in Lovecraft's series of books. Henderson came from the D20 game "Call of Cthulhu". He was someone's character, and is one of the few people to actually beat the game.
Derleth used Hastur in his Cthulhu mythos books. Lovecraft barely mentioned Hastur, the King in Yellow or Yellow sign. I think he only mentioned Hastur once and even then he did not mention if it was the name of a place or a deity. Current Hastur is Derleth's doing.

Anyway, back to WWUD
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Lagslayer

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5318 on: December 09, 2013, 01:15:03 pm »

Quote
What would the ELVES do if Urist sold them the nice leather bound tome (menacing with spikes of literature) the weirdo in yellow left behind?

Leave ina  fit of rage. When they return to their hippie internment camp, they give the book "a proper burial", because it is made of paper. A tree grows over top of the grave. An evil tree. It syphons all the life from the surrounding flora. When it matures, the black, oozing pods release spores which infect the elves. Overnight, their minds twist into something grotesque. They begin construction on an inter-dimensional portal. By spilling the blood of their newborns, they summon through the portal a creature of nightmares. On a nearby hill, a bearded figure shoots a flaming crossbow bolt. With the hidden barrels of gunpowder lit, the entire retreat goes up in flames. It was the Dwarven trader. And he knew this thing must be destroyed. The elves were merely pawns used to summon it into the material world, so that good dwarves may not be sacrificed instead.


WWUD if it was all just a dream?

Scruffy

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5319 on: December 09, 2013, 01:42:00 pm »

Quote
What would the ELVES do if Urist sold them the nice leather bound tome (menacing with spikes of literature) the weirdo in yellow left behind?
WWUD if it was all just a dream?
Remember the burning elves and weep upon realizing that such a beautiful thing was just a dream

WWUD if he was digging into a candy vein and found a mysterious message carved in the inside. "CRAZY HASSAN'S USED CAMEL EMPORIUM."
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: December 09, 2013, 01:45:47 pm by Scruffy »
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Baffler

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5320 on: December 09, 2013, 01:59:06 pm »

That's always what they find. The clown car opens when the doomed miner attempts to return the camel, as it was a bit more than barely used.

WWUD if he was sent to reclaim Besmarkezat?
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Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
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blazing glory

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5321 on: December 09, 2013, 04:20:00 pm »

That's always what they find. The clown car opens when the doomed miner attempts to return the camel, as it was a bit more than barely used.

WWUD if he was sent to reclaim Besmarkezat?
I don't have time to read the whole thing so I will reply as this.Urist would become insane and would be eaten by things to horrible for Urist to imagine.WWUD If he had a twin brother whose name was Mc-Urist
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DogsRNice

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5322 on: December 09, 2013, 05:26:10 pm »

preform !!SCIENCE!! with on him

WWUD if he had a 100 foot tall robot slave?
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I had an FB named Ned once.  I kept imagining a giant Ned Flanders...

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Eric Blank

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5323 on: December 09, 2013, 11:43:39 pm »

Use it to enslave other slaves who must then help him capture more slaves.

WWUD if another member of the community didn't find slavery to be an unthinkably horrendous attrocity?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

grimman007

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #5324 on: December 15, 2013, 08:22:34 pm »

Enslave him, because he's obviously alright with it.

WWUD if he had to face off against a goomba?
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Urist's Mod! Spawnable NPCs include bogeymen, bronze colossi and a random Forgotten Beast, generated on the fly and animated for your vomit.  Also magma.
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