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[klefenz]

This:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WWUD if he invented molotov cocktails?

[IcyTea31]

Get melancholic after realizing the full ramifications of his invention: it's literally all about throwing booze at your enemies, and then burning it! Sacrilege!

WWUD if a Molotov cocktail was thrown toward him?

[Edmus]

Urist enjoyed a decadent ‼DRINK‼ lately, he sustained major injuries lately, he admired a fine door recently.

WWUD if all his booze were {forbidden}?

[Lagslayer]

Start a bootlegging ring.

WWUD if he were the Dwarven Al Capone?

[klefenz]

Get thrown into jail for violation of production order (didnt make a slade violin in time)

WWUD if noone in the fortress liked him?

[XArgon]

Hear the Overseer say:
Urist, we'd like to inform you that you are considered to be the perfect candidate for the Advanced Siege Obliteration Squad. We were even going to place all your friends into the same squad. Of course, all your friends couldn't come, because you don't have any friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned." Perfect for averting a tantrum spiral.

WWUD if he found a curious underground structure, and after getting to the bottom of it got his hands onto an artifact adamantine Portal Gun from "Portal"?

[blazing glory]

Throw away after realizing that it didn't do anything. (Portal surfaces are covered in moon dust,it won't work on anything else.)

WWUD if he was being launched by catapult into a seige of Goblins?

[hops]

Being a real dwarf, was Urist
He'd ready his axe, as he flew
Towards the goblins
Too bad, there's physics
Urist'd become dwarf smoothies.


WWUD if he got a portal gun that work on everything except air?

[XArgon]

Shoot charging goblins with it, repeatedly bending space by interconnecting their bodies and causing pathing confusion among them, until some goblin lasher finally reaches him... and Urist kills the goblin by making him look directly at the operational end of the device.

WWUD he was told that alchemy finally got implemented, and there is an alchemist's workshop waiting for him to work in?

[ICBM pilot]

Try to make an elixir of immortality but end up making gunpowder and causing the whole fort to blow up when a !!dwarf!! steps on it.
WWUD if he could make alcohol out of forgotten beast extract?

[Baffler]

Urist would brew his alcohol, but they would only be permitted for export because of possible health concerns raised after the focus group's spleens melted.

WWUD if he was put in a blowgun squad?

[klefenz]

Fire blowdarts at the goblin invaders. It is not very successful because they dont have poision for the darts.

WWUD if he had poison fangs?

[XArgon]

Urist McVampire von Poison bites the sleeping Legendary Weaponsmith.
Urist McVampire von Poison drinks the Legendary Weaponsmith's blood.
Legendary Weaponsmith has succumbed to poisoning.
Urist McVampire von Poison has succumbed to poisoning.
Legendary Weaponsmith ghost throws party at the shale table.
 
WWUD if he witnessed some ghosts talking in the fort's hallway? (discussing something terrifying, of course.)

[Girubev]

Urist McGhost: "So I heard the dwarves are about to sign a peace treaty with the elves..."

Urist McPasserby has been found dead with a terrified expression on his face. x42

WWUD if he killed a demon by hitting it's head off via warhammer and sending it down a rabbit hole, thus ending the siege and simultaneously inventing the game of golf?

[klefenz]

Be struck ny melancholy because nobody wants to play his game.

WWUD if preachers of the Carp God came to knock on his door?