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Author Topic: The Hastening of Doomforests  (Read 435563 times)

Max™

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1290 on: August 17, 2015, 08:16:08 am »

Doomforests: Centipedes Snails in my vagina Mausoleum? It's more likely than you might think.
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Taupe

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1291 on: August 17, 2015, 08:32:28 am »

''Snails 2, Doomforests 0''

Iamblichos

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1292 on: August 17, 2015, 08:33:07 am »

LOL... it's more than likely, it's assured!  Today only, every tomb gets a free giant web-spitting winged snail!  But wait, there's more!

Callers within the next 15 minutes receive a caged minotaur named Pac-Man, ABSOLUTELY FREE!  (some bloodletting may apply, see flier for details)
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

TechnoXan

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1293 on: August 17, 2015, 09:30:52 am »

''Snails 2, Doomforests -9001''
With recent data from our polls on how many are dead (the most common answer is, a lot) it seems we ARE OVER 9000!!!!  :P
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By the by, if your wondering why I use so many smiley faces, its because I smile a lot when I talk. So I use them here so I don't come off the wrong way.


And so it begins...
OPEN THE GATES!

Dark One

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1294 on: August 17, 2015, 12:57:47 pm »

A summary for 1060 - Iamblichos' turn:

Spoiler: 1060 (click to show/hide)

This can be modified, as I'm sure that I could miss a few things from Iamblichos' turn.

Iamblichos

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1295 on: August 17, 2015, 03:48:38 pm »

TaupeII is born.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As is TechnoXanII!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This concludes our public service announcement.  Also, spoiler, there's a serious plot twist for the next update  :D
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

TheFlame52

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1296 on: August 17, 2015, 03:51:37 pm »

What could possibly be twistier than everyone dying?

Another FB shows up and the two kill each other? Some other form of having our enemies kill each other? Beast is slain by some random civilian? Everyone dies but the vampire?

Taupe

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1297 on: August 17, 2015, 03:52:51 pm »

I assume this was a typo, as we are up to the third iteration of Taupes.
Nevertheless, she seems like a fair addition to the fort, and will be the perfect secretary for my next overseer.

What could possibly be twistier than everyone dying?

Another FB shows up and the two kill each other? Some other form of having our enemies kill each other? Beast is slain by some random civilian? Everyone dies but the vampire?
well you fucking jinked it now. Hello, son of supergoat.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2015, 04:02:11 pm by Taupe »
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Iamblichos

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1298 on: August 17, 2015, 04:19:21 pm »

We are sealed off from the caverns.  Any threats would have to come overland.  And if something else wants to come kill Son of Snustok and die itself, I would probably STILL leave the caverns sealed, because what a shitpile abomination disaster the lower fort is.  I can't even begin to fathom how to seal all those holes up  :P

EDIT: Nevermind the plot twist, because the game crashed two months into the season.  That's about all I have patience for tonight  :P  The Vampire had gone into a strange mood, but apparently that never happened now.  To hell with it.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2015, 04:43:39 pm by Iamblichos »
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

TechnoXan

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1299 on: August 17, 2015, 07:23:01 pm »

                         The Codex of TechnoXan , Master Mecha Engineer

                    Entry Seven:   
Wow. I never expected that. A giant snail, has, uhh. Killed me. I died... Along with half the Fort. I was, uhh, I wassss. Oh yes! I was doing a cavern sweep with a patrol for any feral Crundles or other useful creatures. And, and... Oh yeah! It ate the patrol and bit my head off. Yeah, that's it. Oh! But I am still alive! Um, how is it again? Oh yes, after I drank my serum, my uhhhh. Half of my soul was transported into the Magma Gem. Didn't know that was gonna happen, haha! Oh! But then I took it of my Magmatica Device, aww, I liked that. Anyway. So half of my soul was in the Magma Gem, still connected to me, so when I.....Oh! So when I died I was in the Gem, when the other half....lost contact? yeah, it was very red in there. So Zurek and Fido decided to try everything to get me out, while hoping I was in. So, Zurek volunteered. He held the Gem and concentrated....So, I uhhhh. I, -oh- we switched! Zureks in the Gem and I am in Zurek! Its great in here, he is much younger! I feel 50 again!

Oh but I, need to...need to...Need to get the other half of my soul back! That's it! Yeah, Fido says I am forgetful without the other half. Yeah. But then theirs that, thingie....Snail! Its a snail! Yeah. Well Fido is sending out Crundles to go get my body. Although, some of those Seeing Eye Crundles are being weird. Huh, weird.

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By the by, if your wondering why I use so many smiley faces, its because I smile a lot when I talk. So I use them here so I don't come off the wrong way.


And so it begins...
OPEN THE GATES!

Iamblichos

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1300 on: August 17, 2015, 08:03:35 pm »

Overseer's Log, Longshanks - Autumn, 1063

The season started well.  The caverns were sealed, the snail-beast was still down there, and we had a bit of a breather.  After completing an exhaustive examination, my initial hunch was confirmed - this fortress was designed by crazy dwarves.  I already knew about the warren of passages honeycombing the mountain, but the halls made no sense.  The more I talked to the ones who had been here a while, the stranger it sounded... necromancers and crundles, cultists and vampires and I don't know what.  Something seemed to be drawing werebeasts and monsters to this location, and I suspected that whatever it was produced hallucinations in dwarves.  Had to be hallucinations, because I'd never heard such a farrago of rubbish in all my days!

Within the first few days of Autumn, I rounded up the miners and gave them a strong talking-to.  If we were going to survive here, we needed some better and more logical facilities.  I'm not a shouty dwarf, but they got up my nose, and I told them all what I thought of a fort designed like a jellyfish's unmentionables, with a few choice suggestions besides.  After that, they seemed to realize I meant business.  Following my directions, they expanded the food storage area, dug some new storage areas for empty pots and barrels, and even dug a coop for all the poultry that had been wandering all over the damn fort, shitting in the floor and whatnot.  Once the nest boxes were in, and the birds were laying eggs by the basketful, I ordered the slaughter of every animal that didn't have a name, a pedigree and an important owner.

While all that was going on, I stopped by the kitchens for a wee drink, overseeing being thirsty work and all.  All the gossip was of some metalcrafter, something or other Wheelmists, who found a glowing gem lying in the floor.  No sooner had he picked it up than he started muttering to himself, eyes flashed purple, and next thing we knew:



He was yelling that his name was now TechnoXanII, whatever the hell that means, and demanding all sorts of things like gems.  This was a bit of a poser, since we had no gems in the whole fort.  Luckily for Mr. Plays-With-Spirits, the caravan showed up at that moment with some gems and cloth for sale!  I bought them out of food and steel, trading them anything I could lay hands on, and TechnoXan or whatever his name turned 200,000 Urists worth of gold, diamonds and amethysts into a TOY BOAT.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The liaison didn't have much news, but we were made a duchy.  Just goes to show how desperate things are in Stroking that they would advance a shithole like this!  I still kick that jackass Obok every time I walk by him.  We could have been in Painturns instead of stuck here in this dump.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Once the wagons showed us their asses, I kicked into high gear.  We set up new forges, cut down enough trees to make charcoal, and set up some new smelters.  Ah, it does me heart good to smell the smoke of burning wood again!  At the end of the season, we memorialized or buried the last of the dead.  To celebrate, I ordered a memorial well dug in the hospital and forged the whole thing out of gold and silver.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Just before winter came, though, the cavern mists drew another monstrosity to loose on us.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The winter's task is figuring out how to get it to fight our dear Shedim... seems to me that something webby would trap the dusty one and attack it but get bathed in dust.  We might actually be able to use them against each other.  Think I'll go have a drink and ponder it.

- LONGSHANKS
« Last Edit: August 18, 2015, 12:16:16 pm by Iamblichos »
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

Drazoth

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1301 on: August 17, 2015, 10:28:09 pm »

God damn, being a part of this thread is like playing FNAF.  You have to pay really close attention or a bunch of stuff happens and you die.
Now to play catch up on the roleplay.


Journal of Drazoth III:  Entry:?

So, I finally get back to DoomForests after the family meeting and wouldn't you know, the whole place has gone to shit.  Or at least more to shit than it was when I left.  It looks like that imposter I had pose as me got killed while I was gone.  Better her than me anyway.  At least I won't have to wear a dress, or look after that kid anymore.  I'll need to find out what happened to TechnoXan and the Inquisition while I was away. 


[OOC]  So, would you be so kind as to re-dwarf 3 for me?  As a guy this time if you could?
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Welcome to Doomforests, please, choose a cult of your liking or head to the overseers office to register your own cult. Religious freedom is pride of this fortress!

Taupe

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1302 on: August 17, 2015, 10:37:03 pm »

God damn, being a part of this thread is like playing FNAF.  You have to pay really close attention or a bunch of stuff happens and you die.
Now to play catch up on the roleplay.
Indeed, Fuck Not Another Flyingsnail is a very unforgiving and stressful game.

PyroTechno

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1303 on: August 17, 2015, 10:59:37 pm »

God damn, being a part of this thread is like playing FNAF.  You have to pay really close attention or a bunch of stuff happens and you die.
Now to play catch up on the roleplay.
Indeed, Fuck Not Another Flyingsnail is a very unforgiving and stressful game.

Just hope we don't get four.
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Iamblichos

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1304 on: August 18, 2015, 08:37:34 am »

[OOC]  So, would you be so kind as to re-dwarf 3 for me?  As a guy this time if you could?

Sure... any profession you like?  Or just any male dwarf?
Logged
I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.
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