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[KiBoy]

Go outside to get some socks.

WWUD if socks didn't exist?

He would take shelter in stone, periodically opening a specialized airlock room which would contain a stockpile with pig tail fiber shoes. The system eventually crashes when someone accidentally pulls the lever, flooding the room with magma when Urist McPeasant is trying to get a pair of shoes. ( I'm lovin' this. 8 )

WWUD if HFS was in the sky instead?

[TD1]

Take shelter in the stone where HFS used to be, set up an elaborate airlock that the clowns above could get through one at a time, and crush them. The system eventually crashes when a Urist look alike clown got through, killed the gatekeeper and left the airlock open.

WWUD if he and the world were made of lego.

[kibaseviltwin]

WWUD if he and the world were made of lego.

Melt the world in a campfire and melt the world

WWUD if he was king of the War Chickens?

[Baffler]

What have I created!?

Wipe out every living thing in existence, then starve to death when the player adds [GRAZER:1] to chickens in an attempt to stop him.

WWUD if bees?

[Eric Blank]

Urist McBees cancels bees: too bee to bee.

WWUD if a bee stung him?

[Tawa]

Bad thought --> tantrum --> more bad thoughts --> death of fort.

Get with the program, man.

WWUD if he obtained some form of gunpowder-discharged firearm?

[kibaseviltwin]

bash people in the head with it because he got the wrong ammo

WWUD if he discovered he was only an entity within a computer program?

[Noel.se]

Try to convince other dwarves of the truth using a red and a blue sock.

WWUD if he owned a computer?

[Baffler]

Spend all day season on Fortbook, causing severe bad thoughts in the other 249 dwarves in the fortress waiting to use it.

WWUD if he was arrested for a crime he didn't commit?

[Tawa]

Sit dutifully in prison/the extermination hole.

WWUD if he was Matt Damon?

[KiBoy]

Sit dutifully in prison/the extermination hole.

WWUD if he was Matt Damon?

The first thing he would do is getting his socks on.

What would Urist do if his name was Bomrek? ( Urist = Dagger Bomrek = Whip )

[Wimopy]

Well, obviously Urist would do nothing, since he is Bomrek! Bomrek would do what Urist normally does though ("Look a sock" -> horrible death), because dwarves don't really give a damn about their names.

WWUD if having to choose between a woollen sock, a rope reed cloth sock and an adamantine sock? (1 of each only, not 2!)

[Iamblichos]

Choose the adamantine sock, causing the nobles to riot because of his pretension.

WWUD if he could ride a Jabberer like a goblin?

[IronTomato]

Keep it on display instead of riding it. Next to it, put a sign that says:

BEHOLD!
WORLD'S LARGEST PECKER
ONE GLANCE COSTS 2 SOCKS

WWUD If he owned a jabberer monopoly?

[Tawa]

Play Jabbereropoly with the other dwarves and horribly fail after a few pages of forum posts.

WWUD if he ran a forum game and the fort was besieged? (Assume Urist is not in the military, is a legendary metalworker and thus rendering him a very bad draftee, and has access to the dwarven equivalent of computers.)