Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 241 242 [243] 244 245 ... 316

Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661077 times)

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3630 on: April 03, 2017, 01:37:50 pm »

I lie in my bed
 -ta dum -ta dum-
I'm stiff and I'm cold
-ta dum -ta dum-
My lips are so blue
-ta-dum -ta dum-
Oh what can I do
- ta dum - ta dum-
The undertaker blues wil take you down!
I never knew I could go down so deep
it almost feels like 6 feet
Under -taker blues!
Undertaker blues
Will take a man down.
Yeah.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2017, 01:43:54 pm by martinuzz »
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

TheBiggerFish

  • Bay Watcher
  • Somewhere around here.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3631 on: April 03, 2017, 04:02:48 pm »

Yeah, there's actually a lot you could do with that lyric.
...If someone hasn't made a song out of that...
Logged
Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Tomasque

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gonna one-up FoU - with an FG in my personal text!
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3632 on: April 03, 2017, 06:35:06 pm »

Yeah, there's actually a lot you could do with that lyric.
...If someone hasn't made a song out of that...
?
Logged
The quantum cannonball hits you in the face and misses!
Money!
GENERATION grisha5: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

Starver

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3633 on: April 10, 2017, 05:42:27 pm »

The word "Loo" (Lavatory, Toilet, Bathroom, John, etc) is of uncertain origin. It may be an abbreviated form of "gare l'eau" (mind the water) or "(be)ware below" or several other warning cries traditionally associated with the emptying of chamber pots out of the window. There are suggestions that the room numbered 100, in a certain type of hotel, are the shared facilities for that floor, which could be read as if a short word in its own right.  On sailing ships, one would use whatever side of the ship were downwind (leeward, or "leward" in some accents) for all the best reasons, and the terminology then migrated to land-lubbers in a form with more brevity. It could also be that the term "water closet" was humorously conflated with the famous battle of Waterloo, before being further shortened through laxness of terminology, to become one of the many slang euphemisms and or synonyms for the toilet facilities...

But W.C. is short for whose convenience?
Logged

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3634 on: April 10, 2017, 07:25:18 pm »

Speakers of languages with non-insane names for the letter 'w'.
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Max™

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CULL:SQUARE]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3635 on: April 10, 2017, 08:32:24 pm »

I was under the impression (albeit from bad english speaking ffxi players) that wc was used because a closer translation of the japanese word for bathroom was water closet.

Course this is also the same sort of language skills which produced "what mean 'cum'? corned beef?" to which I answered 'yes, when I finish there is an explosion of corned beef... I should probably see a doctor about that' which is terrible and amusing, but I'm not sure if it's a joke.
Logged

Icefire2314

  • Bay Watcher
  • Programmer and Space Enthusiast
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3636 on: April 10, 2017, 09:25:59 pm »

Do you know what you call 8000000000000000 hobbits?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What do you call 90000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 hobbits?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
"ERUTH PULL THE DAMN LEVER THE ZOMBIES ARE ABOUT TO GET INSIDE!"
"zzz"
BAY 12 MINI CITY: http://bay-12.myminicity.com/

Max™

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CULL:SQUARE]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3637 on: April 10, 2017, 10:32:59 pm »

Wouldn't that just be 45 septendecillion pairs of fucking hobbits?
Logged

hector13

  • Bay Watcher
  • It’s shite being Scottish
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3638 on: April 11, 2017, 07:48:44 am »

Wouldn't that just be 45 septendecillion pairs of fucking hobbits?

The fact you went to the effort to count the zeroes then figure out what number that made and then halved it... well, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
Logged
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Max™

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CULL:SQUARE]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3639 on: April 12, 2017, 09:32:39 am »

Just hit f7 to get the cursor then tapped, one-two-three, one-two-three, etc and got 17 so I went with septendecillion.

Only reason I even thought to do that is from accidentally hitting f7 and wondering why the hell the cursor is moving around instead of scrolling the page and having to figure out what I did.

Shoulda just pasted it in the address bar and added a !wa so duckduckgo would check wolframalpha (which confirmed it's septendecillion) for me.
Logged

Culise

  • Bay Watcher
  • General Nuisance
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3640 on: April 13, 2017, 08:28:05 am »

The police took a fortuneteller into custody, but due to her abilities, they were released on their own precognizance.
Logged

Max™

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CULL:SQUARE]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3641 on: April 13, 2017, 08:38:41 am »

How many absurdists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3642 on: April 13, 2017, 09:14:58 am »

How many absurdists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sixhundredandsixtysix Christmas Avenue, London
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Silverthrone

  • Bay Watcher
  • Mad Old Geat
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3643 on: April 13, 2017, 10:51:31 am »

How many dumb-dumbs does it take to change a light-bulb?

Some twenty, in all. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to turn the house.

However, it will not work. For the designated bulb holder is standing inside the house, and is thus turned with it. The dumb-dumbs do not understand this. The ones doing the house turning feel as if the bulb holder is somehow cheating them, that he is failing to do his part of the job on purpose. Meanwhile, the bulb man feels increasingly shattered by his failure, and tries again and again to fulfill his responsibility. He knows that he has mislead his house turning flock. But he cannot understand what is wrong. He wishes nothing more but to get off his step-ladder, and pass his slippery, jingling burden over to someone else. But no one will accept. He is the bulb holder.

And so it continues, again and again. Nineteen resigned dumb-dumbs lifting and turning a house on their shoulder, turn after turn, while inside is a dumb-dumb in absolute despair, pleading in tears at the light socket, that, in its refined and delicate cruelty, refuses to turn.
Logged

Bumber

  • Bay Watcher
  • REMOVE KOBOLD
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3644 on: April 20, 2017, 02:26:19 am »

What did Russia say after invading the Ukraine?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 20, 2017, 02:28:04 am by Bumber »
Logged
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?
Pages: 1 ... 241 242 [243] 244 245 ... 316