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Author Topic: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)  (Read 391246 times)

SanDiego

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3285 on: June 04, 2014, 03:17:41 am »

Spoilers for my turn: I will have no idea what's going on
I don't think anyone has one any more.
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Welcome to Murdermachines. Try the gecko sauce; it's delectable and delightful, a wonderful blend of savory and spicy that makes any dish delicious without being too overwhelming.

(Warning: Do not ask about the manufacturing process for gecko sauce)
(Warning: Gecko sauce may cause acute respiratory failure on contact)
Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3286 on: June 04, 2014, 03:30:12 am »

Well... I suppose I could give it a shot... what's the turn order list currently look like?

A dark voodoo statistics ritual involving a seven-sided die, fourteen pie charts, three XML documents, a random number generator, a psycho clown, a dart board, and our names in an out-dated spreadsheet file with compatibility issues that was written by Terry himself fifteen minutes in the future on a Windows 98. Or at least, that's all the parts I've been able to figure out so far. It's just easiest to say "Your turn comes when the game says so".

Right. I'll prep my anti-darkness incantations, clutch my plushie to my chest, and hope the arcane winds don't make me lose my skirt again.

Also wait patiently for my turn. I'll do that too.

Spoilers for my turn: I will have no idea what's going on and will probably try to write a silly narrative.

I could hold your hand if you'd prefer.
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Wolfkit

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3287 on: June 04, 2014, 07:11:02 am »

Right. I'll prep my anti-darkness incantations, clutch my plushie to my chest, and hope the arcane winds don't make me lose my skirt again.

Also wait patiently for my turn. I'll do that too.

Spoilers for my turn: I will have no idea what's going on and will probably try to write a silly narrative.

I could hold your hand if you'd prefer.
Abort! Abort!
Quickly, someone pull a lever and hope it does something useful!
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You wanna frisk this guy? This guy with the technicolor wonder limbs? The limbs that could probably slap you on several different levels of reality?
Your tabs are just pure chaos, Wolfkit.
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Dwarf4Explosives

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3288 on: June 04, 2014, 08:42:36 am »

*Creaking sounds from somewhere in the caverns*
You have been struck down.
Logged
And yet another bit of proof that RNG is toying with us. We do 1984, it does animal farm
...why do your hydras have two more heads than mine? 
Does that mean male hydras... oh god dammit.

GentlemanRaptor

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3289 on: June 04, 2014, 02:27:38 pm »

Spoilers for my turn: I will have no idea what's going on
I don't think anyone has one any more.
Hell, I had no idea what was going on, and I was one of the overseers before the really fucked shit started happening.
A few notes:

*The elves are not our friends. At all. They are to be slain without mercy.

*There's a torture chamber/day care on the lower z-levels. Can't be arsed to remember exactly where I built the damn thing, but if you need to dispose of prisoners/make sacrifices/indulge yourself, it's there.

*INSCRIBE SLABS. Vengeful ghosts are not something you want hassling you in the middle of a voidspawn invasion.

That's the extent of my advice. When you do take your turn running this Armok-forsaken charnel-house that would do Khorne proud, just remember. Terry is watching. Always.
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Amusingly, he's a Marksdwarf, which gives me the mental image of him conducting medical malpractice an appendectomy from fifty paces with a crossbow.
On bay12, a poll option of basically 'nuke the world' named 'Apocalypse Hitler' is like asking an alcoholic if they want some whiskey.

TheSaberTooth

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3290 on: June 04, 2014, 06:50:29 pm »

Journal of Saber Idarban Elbelsoloz Zan, Godslayer:
13th of limestone


Forgotten beast of the port bow!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Flies are apparently popular in the beast world. It would have blundered right over the first cavern's wall if it hadn't set its eyes on a Voidspawn I had dropped in earlier this year. Fortunately, the voidspawn is an apparent coward, so it is running while the beast chucks blobs of spit at him. This has given us time to move in. Time to slay the beast.

Or not. Sodor has given up chase and instead chose to hang with Baru and Lanami. Baru is currently running after the voidspawn.

What I want to know is why are the forgotten beasts are attracted to that coffin?

23rd of limestone
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
MAFOL YOU-
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Fool??
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is no recruit.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is a true dwarf!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is a perfect opportunity to take out the beasts. As we speak, Mafol has gone after Baru. I fear for his life. I must make haste.

26th of Limestone
Mafol has slain all 3 of the Forgotten beasts!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is truly a momentous occasion. We have finally gotten rid of those pests. The other dwarves carried the weary Mafol away, cheering his name. I suppose I shall join the celebration. Can't hurt to have some enjoyment around here.
Logged
When all is lost, remember the bees.
What the fuck. Is some random undorfed recruit now our new Darkwing? Hell, even Darkwing just managed to kill two clowns before he went down. It's beyond me that a frigging recruit in the Official Voidspawn Feeding Detachment managed a triple kill on Forgotten Armokhumping Beasts.

TheFlame52

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3291 on: June 04, 2014, 06:59:03 pm »

Guys, Mafol is god damn awesome. He gets to have that coffin now.

kefkakrazy

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3292 on: June 04, 2014, 11:23:35 pm »

I...

Okay, you know what. I know you guys expect florid and quotable reactions to occurrences in the fort from me. That's what I do. That's my job here in the Murdermachines thread.

You know what? I got nothing.

What the fuck. Is some random undorfed recruit now our new Darkwing? Hell, even Darkwing just managed to kill two clowns before he went down. It's beyond me that a frigging recruit in the Official Voidspawn Feeding Detachment managed a triple kill on Forgotten Armokhumping Beasts.
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This is a Dwarven corpse. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of pathetic and menaces with spikes of fail.

CaptainMcClellan

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3293 on: June 04, 2014, 11:30:11 pm »

:O He killed all three...?

HE GETS ADDED TO THE BADASS LIST RIGHT NOW.

Kyronea

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3294 on: June 04, 2014, 11:35:41 pm »

I'm going to hazard a guess this guy got a piece of Anima stuck in him. Just a tiny piece. Just enough of the Void God's power.
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I have a woodcutter walking around who cancels his jobs and passes out every once and a while because he lost 3 of his 8 lungs

TheSaberTooth

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3295 on: June 04, 2014, 11:37:36 pm »

He single handly slew Baru and Lanami, and nearly solo'd Sodor, when NCommander and Ulborb came to assist towards the end of the duel. He was tired (from Baru tanking like no tomorrow), but those two weren't even needed.

I'm going to hazard a guess this guy got a piece of Anima stuck in him. Just a tiny piece. Just enough of the Void God's power.
He probably ate Anima hamburger.
Logged
When all is lost, remember the bees.
What the fuck. Is some random undorfed recruit now our new Darkwing? Hell, even Darkwing just managed to kill two clowns before he went down. It's beyond me that a frigging recruit in the Official Voidspawn Feeding Detachment managed a triple kill on Forgotten Armokhumping Beasts.

Dwarf4Explosives

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3296 on: June 04, 2014, 11:48:10 pm »

...damn random number generator. Constantly leading to random feats of both epic win and extremely pathetic fail.

On a side note, are we still calling him "The Recruit"? Because making him keep such a seemingly ironic title is probably the only way Terry won't consider this hubris.
Logged
And yet another bit of proof that RNG is toying with us. We do 1984, it does animal farm
...why do your hydras have two more heads than mine? 
Does that mean male hydras... oh god dammit.

CaptainMcClellan

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3297 on: June 04, 2014, 11:59:44 pm »

He single handly slew Baru and Lanami, and nearly solo'd Sodor, when NCommander and Ulborb came to assist towards the end of the duel. He was tired (from Baru tanking like no tomorrow), but those two weren't even needed.

I'm going to hazard a guess this guy got a piece of Anima stuck in him. Just a tiny piece. Just enough of the Void God's power.
He probably ate Anima hamburger.
That'd explain it. Anyways, I added him to the Tropes page under Badass and Mauve Shirt. Tropes page

TheSaberTooth

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3298 on: June 05, 2014, 02:46:09 pm »

I was reading the Tropes page when suddenly I got a nosebleed. Darn it Terry.
What the fuck. Is some random undorfed recruit now our new Darkwing? Hell, even Darkwing just managed to kill two clowns before he went down. It's beyond me that a frigging recruit in the Official Voidspawn Feeding Detachment managed a triple kill on Forgotten Armokhumping Beasts.
I'm also going to sig that.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2014, 03:03:54 pm by TheSaberTooth »
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When all is lost, remember the bees.
What the fuck. Is some random undorfed recruit now our new Darkwing? Hell, even Darkwing just managed to kill two clowns before he went down. It's beyond me that a frigging recruit in the Official Voidspawn Feeding Detachment managed a triple kill on Forgotten Armokhumping Beasts.

tahujdt

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3299 on: June 06, 2014, 08:50:55 am »

Hey, Captain, can I get that blurb you promised me?
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