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[MaximumZero]

Well, right now that bastard seems willing to block my punch, after I was shouting like a moron that I'm going to punch everybody. Guess that i a threat and I better punch him!

I need to invite Kim Jong-Un to participate in a cage match with me. Standard rules. No knees to the head. No groin shots. No biting or eye gouging. No potatoes.

[LordSlowpoke]

Well, right now that bastard seems willing to block my punch, after I was shouting like a moron that I'm going to punch everybody. Guess that i a threat and I better punch him!

I need to invite Kim Jong-Un to participate in a cage match with me. Standard rules. No knees to the head. No groin shots. No biting or eye gouging. No potatoes.

All fights without potatoes are not worth watching.

[Loud Whispers]

Well, right now that bastard seems willing to block my punch, after I was shouting like a moron that I'm going to punch everybody. Guess that i a threat and I better punch him!

I need to invite Kim Jong-Un to participate in a cage match with me. Standard rules. No knees to the head. No groin shots. No biting or eye gouging. No potatoes.

WE BELIEVE IN YOU MZ!

YOU CAN TAKE DOWN ALL THEIR POTATOES!

[ChairmanPoo]

Well, right now that bastard seems willing to block my punch, after I was shouting like a moron that I'm going to punch everybody. Guess that i a threat and I better punch him!

I need to invite Kim Jong-Un to participate in a cage match with me. Standard rules. No knees to the head. No groin shots. No biting or eye gouging. No potatoes.

WE BELIEVE IN YOU MZ!

YOU CAN TAKE DOWN ALL THEIR POTATOES!

If you beat Dear Leader in a  cage match do you become Dear Leader?

[Max White]

How would anybody know? Nobody has ever beat Dear Leader. He did beat Mike Tyson at the age of three, as such his status as world champion is unquestioned.

[bulborbish]

How would anybody know? Nobody has ever beat Dear Leader. He did beat Mike Tyson at the age of three, as such his status as world champion is unquestioned.

And we cannot attempt to defeat him in martial arts, because he invented and mastered every style while curing cancer in North Korea.

[Loud Whispers]

How would anybody know? Nobody has ever beat Dear Leader. He did beat Mike Tyson at the age of three, as such his status as world champion is unquestioned.

And we cannot attempt to defeat him in martial arts, because he invented and mastered every style while curing cancer in North Korea.

With the martial arts.

[IronyOwl]

I think you people are forgetting that you have to beat Kim Jong Un's unicorn before you're eligible to fight him at all.

(He also returns for Kim's Stage Two.)

[RedWarrior0]

Stage Two? Kim has no stage two! Or if he does, nobody's ever reached it. The idea that you could beat his stage one is preposterous.

[10ebbor10]

Stage Two? Kim has no stage two! Or if he does, nobody's ever reached it. The idea that you could beat his stage one is preposterous.

You can cheat your way into it, by going the other way around, (in time)

[Guardian G.I.]

If you somehow manage to beat Kim Jong-un in the second stage, you'll have to face the final boss - the Eternal President of North Korea!

Spoiler: My stupid concept is stupid (click to show/hide)

The Eternal President is a giant battle robot disguised as a statue of Kim Il-sung. It is currently located at Mansudae Hill in Pyongyang. It is controlled by Kim Il-sung's consciousness uploaded on a massive supercomputer inside the statue, it is powered by an onboard nuclear fusion reactor, and it is armed with two 900mm calibre pistols (enlarged versions of Kim Il-sung's trademark weapons*).
The Eternal President is extremely powerful and can easily defeat the United States of America single-handedly, but due to a programming mishap, it is set to go online only when North Korea gets invaded. Attempts to activate it by inviting foreigners (such as tourists, businessmen and former US presidents) to North Korea have failed.

*fun fact: Kim Il-sung actually did have two pistols as sidearms. They originally belonged to his father, when he died in a Japanese prison, he bequeathed the pistols to Kim Il-sung. Available North Korean sources don't state if Kim Il-sung had dual wielded them during the liberation of Korea from Japanese invaders, but it is very likely that he had. The two pistols of Kim Il-sung have been featured in paintings and mass games. They are displayed in a museum in Pyongyang.

[Just Some Guy]

North Korea refuses to negotiate over the Kaesong Industrial complex.

[IronyOwl]

In lighter news, link-hopping from that article has reassured me that everything is going according to plan as far as NK is concerned.

Mind you, that wouldn't preclude the possibility of everything getting out of hand, but it would mean NK's not likely to spiral any further out than they meant to.

[Patchouli]

I don't know what's happening.

[Fniff]

Aaaaah shit.