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Author Topic: Best DF2014 conversations  (Read 26692 times)

Kamamura

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Best DF2014 conversations
« on: July 08, 2014, 08:57:27 am »

The pub was old, with blackened floorboards and perpetual smoke haze hanging in the air. It was also empty, with the exception of a single, stoically looking farmer puffing from his pipe.

Urist ExplainedBeard approached the farmer's table and sat down.
"You know," said Urist, "I killed a rabbit in a forest two days of travel from here."
The farmer puffed a few times, obviously unimpressed. "It was inevitable."
"Moreover, when crossing the nearby stream, I challenged and slew Urnon the Umbral Cups of Dusk, a werewolf who took hundreds in his lust of murder."
A few more puffs. "It was his Fate."
"Lastly, when I was sitting down at your table, old man, I slipped a few drops of serpent man venom into your mug of ale."
"Rggghhhh... terrific..."
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The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

RageBob

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2014, 10:58:13 am »

I decided to make crazy bitch elf with points nothing but sword training, thus making her grandmaster (Ya I regretted that). And I was spawned in a village taken by gobbo bandits. This is the result of finding them.



There's 5 of them.

Did Toady implemented
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
stalking.
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Apparently as a streamer I must be a sell out. So I'm selling myself here; I do streams.

The W axis

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2014, 11:14:36 am »



I stealthed right into the middle of them and they started narrating it to each other.
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I killed several of them and it hasn't made a difference, I will try killing more to see if that fixes the problem

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2014, 11:27:39 am »

This is beautiful. PTW.

TheDorf

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2014, 11:56:13 am »

I agree. This is beatiful. Toady's a freaking artist :'D

PTW. Might contribute in a bit, just about to try it out :)
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I love this community. Somebody asks "hay guise how do i tame shark", and then everybody is like "why don't we fling sharks at things with complex mechanical devices?".

Kamamura

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2014, 12:01:37 pm »

HAha, Weasel story is hilarious. Another slightly edited story from my adventure:

==============================================================

Ugo MaliceBeards, human outcast and traveller, have been crossing a mountain pass for several days. Tired and dehydrated, his body longed for a proper night's rest and warm food. He was approaching a site that should, according to his maps, contain a dwarven settlement. Ugo expected ramparts, walls, sturdy gates, and watchful patrols, but to his surprise, all he found was a hole in the ground with a ladder. Carefully, he descended the ladder and found himself in a dusty cave, dimly lit with several torches, with a few beds and sparse furniture. A single, healthy and content looking dwarf was sitting at a table carving a figurine from wood.

"Hello, my name is Ugo MaliceBeards. Could you please tell me about your local troubles?"
The dwarf turned his creation in his hands, looking at it from several angles. "Well met, Ugo. We have here ... abductions, night horrors and bandits."
"Tell me about the bandints, then."
"A month ago, Borpo PlasticAxe, bandit leader and heathen, has started to terrorize local people with his band called Romantic Colors."
"And could you tell me where I could find this Borpo, friend?"
"You cannot find him, for he is dead. A troll called Buchu NightCabbage has abducted Borpo three weeks ago, torturing him to death shortly after."
"My blade longs for heroic deeds. Tell me, where could I find this troll Buchu to prove my mettle?"
"You could find him in a nearby forest, he won't put much of a fight."
"Why is that?"
"Two weeks ago, my friend and companion Urist LongBottoms has tracked and killed this monster, whose lust for murder cost lives of hundreds."
"That's excellent news, I would like to meet your friend Urist, commend his bravery and perhaps learn from him about combat."
"I am afraid that is not possible, my friend, for Urist has left this world a week ago. He was killed at midnight in his sleep."
"And pray tell me, who committed this craven murder?"
Suddenly, the torches' flames dimmed a bit, and a chilling breeze blew through the cavern. In a moment of darkness, the eyes of Ugo's host gleamed with red light and he naked his long, white teeth in an ugly smile.
"That is an excellent question, Ugo, I thought you would never ask. It's time I told you about the night horrors that plague this land."

« Last Edit: July 08, 2014, 04:34:56 pm by Kamamura »
Logged
The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

monk12

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2014, 12:05:27 pm »

You: Greetings. My name is Vanod Dikechucked.
The flying silver bolt strikes You in the upper body, tearing the muscle and tearing the left lung through the +iron breastplate+!
You are having trouble breathing!
Gason Suwuwimad, Crossbowman: Ah, hello. I'm Gasom Exitjungles.


I, uh, haven't quite worked out how to tell whether somebody is about to do this, as it has happened a few times now. I assume he was from another site come to harass me.

palu

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2014, 12:07:38 pm »

PTW
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Hmph, palu showing off that reading-the-instructions superpower.
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DFHack DF2015 progress:

Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2014, 12:16:55 pm »

Me - "I am a Diving being!"
Dwarf - *Spits* "I hate you."
Me - *Block Spit*
Dwarf Fortress - *Dies*
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DrKillPatient

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2014, 12:43:24 pm »

I just walked into a level of my home fortress and tons of dead dwarves lie all around. Apparently it's self-inflicted.



I feel like this is a result of no attacker being identified in worldgen, so it defaults to self.

EDIT: Also, I think I accidentally claimed the mountainhome as my own. All the dwarves are talking about it.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2014, 12:51:51 pm by DrKillPatient »
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"Frankly, if you're hanging out with people who tell you to use v.begin() instead of &v[0], you need to rethink your social circle."
    Scott Meyers, Effective STL

I've written bash scripts to make using DF easier under Linux!

Tawa

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2014, 02:15:34 pm »

I haven't had any of those sorts of funny conversations yet, but my companions keep yapping at me about random monsters.

They take pleasure in getting on my nerves.
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. Send me a message on Discord (Tawa#3930) if you need to get in touch with me.

Spehss _

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2014, 02:18:19 pm »

Urist McRanger and Urist McFarmer are currently in a meeting hall in the mountain home.

Urist McRanger comments to Urist McFarmer: "It sure is dark in here."
Urist McFarmer replies to Urist McRanger: "At least it doesn't rain down here."

What is this, a sitcom?
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Turns out you can seriously not notice how deep into this shit you went until you get out.

AnotherDwarvernDeath

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2014, 04:24:17 pm »

Me: "Wait here until I return."
Companion: "Of course." *keeps walking
Me: "Why are you traveling?"
Companion: "I'm on an important mission."
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TheFlame52

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2014, 04:50:46 pm »

Sweet. PTW.
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