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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1008775 times)

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2130 on: May 09, 2016, 06:39:47 am »

* Sergarr suddenly realizes that he doesn't know any jokes with Ivan the Terrible
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2131 on: May 09, 2016, 07:17:01 am »

* Sergarr suddenly realizes that he doesn't know any jokes with Ivan the Terrible
Spoiler: Ivan the Terrible Pun (click to show/hide)

wasn't he saying the same thing back when Scotland was doing the referendum
And did WWIII happen? Checkmate atheists

btw how's that "devolution of powers" going on
Pretty uneventful, biggest thing that happened was the full transfer of business rates but that doesn't sound sexy so no journalists really gave a shit

scrdest

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2132 on: May 09, 2016, 07:19:47 am »

what is this I don't Ivan
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2133 on: May 09, 2016, 08:52:30 am »

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/may/06/erdogan-turkey-not-alter-anti-terror-laws-visa-free-travel-eu
Actual news
Erdobants threatens to crash EU-Turkish pact, EU politicians surprisingly unhappy to be losing a border with Syria

sprinkled chariot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2134 on: May 09, 2016, 01:42:23 pm »

Brexit could trigger world war three. - David Cameron

JUNCKER WILL NUKE LONDON WITH FROG NUKES

ONLY MUTUALLY ASSURED BORIS WILL GUARANTEE SAFETY
Did not Obama smash your brexit phantasies?
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Sinistar

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2135 on: May 09, 2016, 02:03:36 pm »

I'm pretty sure Loud Whispers would take no pansy dream-smashing-Obama for an answer against EU-free UK.

Pretty sure LW is prepared to go on to the end, to fight in France, fight on the seas and oceans, fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, he shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. He shall fight on the beaches, he shall fight on the landing grounds, he shall fight in the fields and in the streets, he shall fight in the hills; he shall never surrender.


At least that's the feeling I have. Might assumptions might be wrong and if so I apologize to LW.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2136 on: May 09, 2016, 06:50:59 pm »

Brexit could trigger world war three. - David Cameron

JUNCKER WILL NUKE LONDON WITH FROG NUKES

ONLY MUTUALLY ASSURED BORIS WILL GUARANTEE SAFETY
Did not Obama smash your brexit phantasies?
No, he made them stronger. This is the nob who sold our nuclear serials to Russia and spent the last two terms doing his best to insult the UK with DVD boxsets, I can suffer a thousand years of more insults just to see this through; no phantasy, we phatty ambition.

The poll found 46 percent would vote "Out", up one percentage point from the previous ICM poll on May 3, while 44 percent would support staying in the bloc, unchanged from the previous survey.
Fanks Obama :3
Also who knows whether his speech was drafted by no.10, I can't tell whether him using British English over Murrican is a sign of something bigger. I don't doubt it but I don't really care either way, even amongst pro-EU campaigners Obama's intervention pissed them off because he was overstepping himself. Last time Americans had the choice between access to a powerful market or independence they threw our tea in the ocean, it's real rich telling us we should sell ours :]

I'm pretty sure Loud Whispers would take no pansy dream-smashing-Obama for an answer against EU-free UK.
Pretty sure LW is prepared to go on to the end, to fight in France, fight on the seas and oceans, fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, he shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. He shall fight on the beaches, he shall fight on the landing grounds, he shall fight in the fields and in the streets, he shall fight in the hills; he shall never surrender.
At least that's the feeling I have. Might assumptions might be wrong and if so I apologize to LW.
I think everyone is prepared to go on to the end, because there never really is an end - life goes on for as long as there's still breath in you. There's no fight in France that the French aren't capable of doing themselves, the seas and oceans we'll have to work on, maybe Heathrow will finally surpass EU regulation and expand our strength in the air, but if given the choice I would rather not wish to see my Islands defended at all costs - it would be rather self-defeating to sacrifice the Isles in the defence of the Isles for example. Much funnier to seek asymmetrical banter or just personal enrichment. If one lacks a Britain to make dank head off to the European bank to become President ;P
On an off note I don't care if dreams are smashed, I've long considered that dreams are a means to forget, not to disparage those who spend their lives chasing after dreams but I just don't see that as a worthwhile use of time. Much more fun seeking to move a grain of sand in reality than to move the world in your dreams.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2137 on: May 10, 2016, 12:20:24 pm »

In response to Erdogan pressing charges in Germany against Matthias Döpfner, the board director of the German media company Axel Springer, for publicly supporting Böhmermann, the Belgian ex-prime minister, Guy Verhofstadt, presently the chairman of the liberal faction of the EU parliament, has called upon his fellow politicians, and journalists to make Erdogan sue them in court.
He said "apparently mister Erdogan sees it fit to try and sue everyone who laughs about him. So I think to myself, what would happen, if all of us are going to repeat the words Döpfner said? Is he going to sue us all? Satire is allowed in Europe".

The German court ruled today that they are impervious to the case, and denied Erdogan's request to forbid Döpfner from speaking in public.
The judge ruled that "mister Döpfner has every right to use his freedom of opinion.

Döpfner, publisher of, among others, the Bild, had written an open letter to Welt am Sonntag, in which he defended Böhmermann. He wrote that "I think his poem is a success. It made me laugh hard. I will, mister Böhmermann, by way of precaution, with respect to content, completly agree with your formulations and snide remarks".

This prompted Erdogan to tell his German lawyer to press charges against Döpfner, and demand a gag order.
Erdogan's lawyer, Höcker, already said last week that he did not expect the win the case at the first court session, and that he would advise his client to appeal before high court.
The lawyer also compared the recent trend of insulting Erdogan with group rape.
"Once one has started, more and more crawl out of their holes to join in on the gangrape".

Inb4 gangrape victims sue Erdogan

Also, this whole erdogan goatfucking censorship thing makes me think of that old punk song, censored and confiscated by british police and later covered by metallica.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/So_What%3F_%28Anti-Nowhere_League_song%29

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XoyDqFy5pU
« Last Edit: May 10, 2016, 12:44:19 pm by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2138 on: May 10, 2016, 01:58:56 pm »

Quote
The lawyer also compared the recent trend of insulting Erdogan with group rape.
"Once one has started, more and more crawl out of their holes to join in on the gangrape"
Somehow this analogy makes everything more ridiculous, considering the sort of poems and mockery that are being directed against Erdogan...
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2139 on: May 10, 2016, 08:54:13 pm »

Diplomatic efforts behind the scenes by the Dutch foreign ministry managed to get journalist Ebru Umar out of Turkey. She has been allowed to leave the country this evening, and has just arrived in the Netherlands. The Turkish government agreed to allow her to leave, but is not dropping the charges against her.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2140 on: May 10, 2016, 09:49:46 pm »

So Erdogan tried to continue pressing charges after the German judge said Dopfner is immune? lol.....

Europe should do an 'insult and/or criticize* Erdogan challenge' thing and dare him to sue all participants because really, that guy still thinks he can push his laws onto other countries.

*I've read that he says he can take criticism, but really, he jails even those who simply criticize him, so.....
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Morrigi

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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2142 on: May 12, 2016, 03:29:41 am »

Dafuq? And they actually arrested him? I mean, what's the logic behind that?
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2143 on: May 12, 2016, 04:52:30 am »

Dafuq? And they actually arrested him? I mean, what's the logic behind that?
They were triggered.

...

Actually, could you get arrested for that in Austria/Germany?
« Last Edit: May 12, 2016, 04:54:16 am by Orange Wizard »
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2144 on: May 12, 2016, 05:42:50 am »

Germany possibly. Or at least charges could be brought. It seems kind of silly to actually go and arrest the guy, it's not like he's dangerous or anything.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.
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