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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 489170 times)

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2280 on: October 07, 2020, 01:28:29 am »

Dwarves sometimes engrave memes on walls and floors. They can also decorate artifacts with memes. This upsets other dwarves.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2281 on: October 07, 2020, 04:33:01 am »

Dwarves from different civs or fortresses may now be able to have their own accents, which could be the source of conflicts among themselves.
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"Military? What's that? Something to eat?"

Brelf91

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2282 on: October 07, 2020, 05:27:05 am »

"Blob" forgotten beasts split into two half sized blobs, when hit by any weapon. Those half sized blobs have the same characteristic.
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2283 on: October 07, 2020, 07:40:54 am »

Healthcare has to be paid for and a doctor guild that spams petition to increase the price will always be founded the moment you have at least one doctor.
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2284 on: October 07, 2020, 11:36:09 am »

Implementation of Dark Elves (or Drows) who despise trees and sculpt their castles onto mountains. The Elves would beg the dwarves to fight them to protect all friends of nature.
You can send armed "negotiators" to drow to force them to limit their excavation of rock and hunting of Underground wildlife. If you succeed, every dwarf in your fort will be amused (strong positive thought).
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2285 on: October 07, 2020, 03:51:35 pm »

Beards should be shearable and this beard hair should be plantable and should grow into dwarves.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2286 on: October 07, 2020, 04:24:41 pm »

Photons are now a vermin
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Maximum Spin

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2287 on: October 07, 2020, 04:25:55 pm »

Elf parts left lying around after a battle sprout elf trees that fruit elves. Elf trees cannot be cut down because it would be butchering a sentient.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2288 on: October 07, 2020, 04:36:59 pm »

Elf parts left lying around after a battle sprout elf trees that fruit elves. Elf trees cannot be cut down because it would be butchering a sentient.
At least the elves would be good meat shields for when invaders show up, but that would lead to more elf parts and more elf trees which would lead to more elves, and eventually the entire surface would be covered in millions of FPS killing elves.

And with that the only real solution is to pull the magma lever and cleanse the surface.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2289 on: October 07, 2020, 04:41:41 pm »

Elves and goblins are now immune to magma. Dwarves hate this one simple trick.

Cats can no longer be butchered because they have TOO_CUTE_TO_KILL. They adopt dwarves twice as fast and losing ones cat can lead to immediate insanity.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Azerty

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2290 on: October 07, 2020, 04:42:28 pm »

Healthcare has to be paid for and a doctor guild that spams petition to increase the price will always be founded the moment you have at least one doctor.

And some doctors might increase the prices after or even while the operation.
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"Just tell me about the bits with the forest-defending part, the sociopath part is pretty normal dwarf behavior."

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2291 on: October 07, 2020, 07:30:14 pm »

Posters now replace word “during” whip the word “while”.









Heil Webster!
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Really hoping somebody puts this in their signature.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2292 on: October 07, 2020, 08:05:54 pm »

(Old joke over here in Rightpondia, relying on regional dialect usage: New teacher arrives for his first day of term teaching in a new area and tells the noisy class he's just taken over tutoring, "You'll never learn anything while you shut up and listen to me!")
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2293 on: October 07, 2020, 09:44:05 pm »

"Blob" forgotten beasts split into two half sized blobs, when hit by any weapon. Those half sized blobs have the same characteristic.

Sufficiently small FBs behave like vermin, teleporting around your fort. They can release deadly dust and cause constant interruptions. They are [ANIMAL_TRAP_AVOID] and cannot be engaged in combat. The only way to kill them is to get extremely lucky with a drawbridge.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2020, 09:45:42 pm by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Nordlicht

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2294 on: October 08, 2020, 07:54:43 am »

If you create a job at a workshop, the manager must go there, look at it, return to his office and write a letter for a central job board where dwarves will look for work. Same for Hauling and Mining. For every single block. He also needs the current leader  to sign it.
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