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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 486296 times)

Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #270 on: February 22, 2019, 06:43:36 am »

Don't forget tripping and slipping
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #271 on: February 22, 2019, 07:13:38 am »

Every hour of in game time every dwarf has a one percent chance to die from a brain aneurysm.
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Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #272 on: February 22, 2019, 08:14:02 am »

Every hour of in game time every player has a one percent chance to die from a brain aneurysm.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #273 on: February 22, 2019, 08:14:20 am »

More generally, dwarves have a chance to suffer a stroke, with effects ranging from paralysis, seizures to instant death, with a chance that increases with age.
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Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #274 on: February 22, 2019, 12:04:52 pm »

Gyms. Gyms for nobles and other dwarfes that don't do hard physical work or they will suffer a heart attack
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Fish Preferred

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #275 on: February 22, 2019, 03:51:39 pm »

And, of course, have the nobles order mandates for permanently staffed and fully equipped gyms that they, like all non-working dwarves, will never use.
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Kyubee

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #276 on: February 22, 2019, 04:01:15 pm »

And, of course, have the nobles order mandates for permanently staffed and fully equipped gyms that they, like all non-working dwarves, will never use.

but when the economy comes out, they still buy a membership for the second each spring starts
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The litten is wandering around the dump now, occasionally exploding.

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #277 on: February 23, 2019, 12:08:51 am »

Every fortress with a gym will always have that one dwarf who works out every day, and is very vocal while doing so.  This is represented by loud, angry grunting and moaning playing through your speakers periodically, without warning, and always at max volume.
Additionally, in spite of being extremely strong and tough, this dwarf will refuse to do any productive labor, instead opting to stand around the dining hall complaining about the lack of protein shakes, whenever they aren't admiring their reflection in the neatest shiny surface.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #278 on: February 23, 2019, 12:14:35 am »

Unless I'm misreading this, you could still lock them in a room with a raised bridge/wall until they die by assigning them to a burrow in the room, no?
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Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #279 on: February 23, 2019, 05:23:56 am »

They will train up to such amoint of muscules that bridges will break hitting them like it happens with megabeasts
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #280 on: February 23, 2019, 05:32:44 am »

And then, after they reach the size of giant sperm whales, their body turns to steel and they no longer need air, food and water, cannot get tired, do not require a working brain to live, their blood releases magma mist, cannot be webbed/trapped and are immortal.
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Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #281 on: February 23, 2019, 06:55:37 am »

But if they body turns into steel then how do bronze colossus are made? From beardless dwarfes that do not have enough dwarfiness to become steel?
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #282 on: February 23, 2019, 07:00:54 am »

Nah, bronze colossuses come from humans attempting the same thing.
Unworthy dwarves just get fewer limbs, that's all.
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Kyubee

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #283 on: February 23, 2019, 02:27:07 pm »

When your fortress gets large enough, you get petitions from outside civilizations to do *something* on your land. For example, the humans or dwarves might ask to be able to use your dumping zone to drop off their own refuse.This will grant you an annual payment. How is this terrible, you ask? Sometimes theyll ask for you to give uyp a map tile from your fort. You dont know what map tile theyre asking for. When given up, you cant do ANYTHING on it, and if your dwarves path through it, it automatically starts a war. Any items on that tile instantly belong to the claiming civilization, INCLUDING artifacts. Oh, and dwarves will insist on pathing through it.
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Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #284 on: February 23, 2019, 05:21:45 pm »

Nah, bronze colossuses come from humans attempting the same thing.
Unworthy dwarves just get fewer limbs, that's all.
But why we don't meet steel colossus?
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