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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 490344 times)

anewaname

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1725 on: June 06, 2020, 06:16:12 am »

Birds surrounded by more than three other birds dies of overcrowding. Birds with less than two birds nearby dies of insuffucient social stimulation. If there are three birds crowding a spot, that spot will spontaneously generate a bird.
This makes me so happy. Wait... what thread am I in?

Non-zombie dwarfs that eat zombie cheese will inflate to several times their size over the course of several weeks until they begin to float, then as expected, they explode.
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How did I manage to successfully apply the lessons of The Screwtape Letters to my perceptions of big grocery stores?
     and
If you're going to kill me, I'm allowed to scream.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1726 on: June 06, 2020, 06:39:50 am »

That would be like the orc-flesh trick.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...and thus, I presume, with zombie cheese.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1727 on: June 07, 2020, 02:25:36 am »

So you have cheese burst out of your chest like in Alien?
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1728 on: June 07, 2020, 04:25:11 am »

Yes, but it also tries to turn into whatever zombie creature it was milked from...grinder from?soif a dwarf ate zombie cheese of a cow, a zombie cow could break its way out
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1729 on: June 07, 2020, 01:31:57 pm »

Yes, but it also tries to turn into whatever zombie creature it was milked from...grinder from?soif a dwarf ate zombie cheese of a cow, a zombie cow could break its way out

A towering zombie cow composed of cheese. Beware its rotten curds!
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1730 on: June 07, 2020, 05:22:36 pm »

If too many dwarves start dancing in the same space, they'll break through into the space below.  This depends on the mass of the dwarves, the material sturdiness of the floor, and--most importantly--the intensity of the music.
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We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1731 on: June 07, 2020, 07:23:24 pm »

If too many dwarves start dancing in the same space, they'll break through into the space below.  This depends on the mass of the dwarves, the material sturdiness of the floor, and--most importantly--the intensity of the music.
this would be good, though there’s currently not a measure of music intensity, what would that be measured with? Number of instruments and singers? Would singers/instrument players of more skill mean more intense? If so, I guess intensity is there, the better the music the more gravity it exhibits when dancers are around
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Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1732 on: June 07, 2020, 07:32:56 pm »

BPM
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1733 on: June 08, 2020, 04:20:52 am »

Allow dwarves to have multiple beards, and when they die the beards can go about and do their own things, including breading like rabbits.

Then playing fortress mode will just be waiting for the inevitable Beardmageddon.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1734 on: June 08, 2020, 05:10:00 am »

Dwarves can grow several beards and as soon as a teenage dwarf becomes old enough his father has to cut one of his beards and implant it into his son presenting his as a grown up dwarf to the fortress. Adult dwarf without that beard is considered a gnome. The first father beard was gifted by Armok himself to the first dwarfes
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1735 on: June 08, 2020, 08:53:04 am »

Allow dwarves to have multiple beards, and when they die the beards can go about and do their own things, including breading like rabbits.

Rabbits and beards require their food to be breaded and deep fried before eating.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1736 on: June 09, 2020, 07:38:03 am »

Allow dwarves to have multiple beards, and when they die the beards can go about and do their own things, including breading like rabbits.

Rabbits and beards require their food to be breaded and deep fried before eating.
Beard bread...bread beard...bearded bread...breaded beard...hang on, there's a joke in here, I know it...
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We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.

delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1737 on: June 09, 2020, 10:29:22 am »

I kneed to hear it. Doughn't leave us hanging. Leven us to wonder is cruel.

Pregnant dwarves experience a period of high succeptibility to stress leading to most babies being born during psychotic breaks.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1738 on: June 09, 2020, 11:03:14 am »

I kneed to hear it. Doughn't leave us hanging. Leven us to wonder is cruel.
The pain! The pain! (Au chocolat...)
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nezclaw

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1739 on: June 09, 2020, 12:24:35 pm »

chopping down trees causes them to fall sideways and not break into logs. they can also knock down neighboring trees and need a lot of work to chop them into pieces.
high level woodcutters can get them to fall in a specific direction, but never the direction you want
« Last Edit: June 09, 2020, 12:26:28 pm by nezclaw »
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.
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