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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2130712 times)

MattStriker

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7560 on: April 02, 2013, 02:02:50 pm »

Use doors to control her movement. Channel her into an empty cistern with some lever-triggered spikes on the floor. Pull lever repeatedly until the vampire is puree'd, then add water and designate as a water source.
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PDF urist master

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7561 on: April 02, 2013, 04:13:00 pm »

i recently realized you can have civilian alerts and assign them to burrows in case of an invasion. if i had known that i wouldn't have to see my fisherdwarves get murdered by invaders
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weenog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7562 on: April 02, 2013, 04:28:19 pm »

i recently realized you can have civilian alerts and assign them to burrows in case of an invasion. if i had known that i wouldn't have to see my fisherdwarves get murdered by invaders

They're fisherdwarfs.  Useless as tits on a bull and they spend most of their time away and alone not winning friends nor influencing people.  What's the problem when they get murdered?
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

PDF urist master

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7563 on: April 02, 2013, 04:38:04 pm »

I personally believe every dwarf have value.
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warwizard

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7564 on: April 02, 2013, 06:00:01 pm »

I just used the civilian burrow to put all my dwarves inside, except for one accomplished Carpenter, then I activated my military squads and positioned them near the door, the goblins were not moving so I unlocked the door and watched as the goblins approached doom by bolts fired through fortifications, and one of my military marks dwarves burst out of the door carrying a bin, gets about 40 steps out the door sees the goblins, drops the bin and charges into combat, no crossbow... a short while later the goblins chuckling to themselves, come into vision range of the trade depot and the human traders waiting there, with bows drawn... "FIRE!" well that was one of the shortest sieges ever, 2 dead dwarves and 5 dead goblins, and we sucessfully conducted trading with the humans before they left.

 Face palm #1 Military Dwarves do not respect civilian alert.
 Face palm #2 Military dwarves were not told to wear their equipment at all times.
 Face palm #3 Due to #2 above when I was making a weapon trap at the front door, the crossbows of the squad were available for use in the trap, and yup I'd used his Xbow.
 Face palm #4 Turn off hauling for military dwarves.
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terko

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7565 on: April 03, 2013, 09:37:42 am »

--- fun text ---

Next time, use 'dump' and a designated area to put the stuff if you want to deliver clothes and other stuff to your imprisoned savely kept vampire. The 'Airlock' variant is very suitable for that purpose.
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Necrisha

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7566 on: April 03, 2013, 04:55:57 pm »

i recently realized you can have civilian alerts and assign them to burrows in case of an invasion. if i had known that i wouldn't have to see my fisherdwarves get murdered by invaders

They're fisherdwarfs.  Useless as tits on a bull and they spend most of their time away and alone not winning friends nor influencing people.  What's the problem when they get murdered?

Until you have one completely sustain a growing fortress for a year and a half and provide enough shells to buy everything of use from a human caravan yes...
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EDIT: Keas restricted to tropical forests where they belong.  Those evil, EVIL, foul little things.
 
Edit: The baby murderer became a friend of the fortress, which started a loyalty cascade, and now most of the squad is dead.

MattStriker

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7567 on: April 03, 2013, 05:49:29 pm »

Yeah, on the right map fisherdwarves are amazing. Minimal investment for a very nice return in food and crafts. Unfortunately they really do get ambushed a lot, since they're usually the ones spending the most time outside your walls and, unlike hunters, don't have the skills to avoid trouble.
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Catsup

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7568 on: April 03, 2013, 05:49:54 pm »

i forgot to lock the doors to the first floor of my giant cave spider silk farm, and a curious puppy just had to wonder in and so got webbed from friendly spider fire, and promptly falling 1 floor down due to the repeating retracting bridge. The puppy sustained horrible, horrible injuries due to the fall and due to all the webbing that fell on him, but now there was no way for him to get out at all since the second level's bridge is only activated by a manual lever and was another retracting bridge. So i pulled the lever so the puppy could get out from the last level, which is where my dwarves retrieved the silk. The puppy took another round of falling with all the accumulated silk on his back, one of which broke his lower spine so he started suffocating. The puppy soon died, letting out one last muffed "yelp" and his corpse made my dwarves wander into the silk collection area since they wanted to store his corpse in the refuse quantum stockpile. Now my silk operations are shut down for this time since i was doing a stockpile overhaul, and soon there was massive job cancellations, children, other pets, and items getting stuck in the collection zone due to all the webbing and dwarves getting webbed trying to get stuff from it. I ended up just forbidding everything and leaving the door open as well as making the area low traffic, so no more dwarves went inside and the children/pets slowly wandered out. But dam, it was a hell of a mess, so many items stuck in there, clothes, logs, corpses, rotting food, and the place was full of miasma, which proceeded to sink into my central stairwell due to the close proximity to the collection zone.

all because 1 puppy had to be curious...

weenog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7569 on: April 03, 2013, 11:42:19 pm »

i recently realized you can have civilian alerts and assign them to burrows in case of an invasion. if i had known that i wouldn't have to see my fisherdwarves get murdered by invaders

They're fisherdwarfs.  Useless as tits on a bull and they spend most of their time away and alone not winning friends nor influencing people.  What's the problem when they get murdered?

Until you have one completely sustain a growing fortress for a year and a half and provide enough shells to buy everything of use from a human caravan yes...

I'd rather have hunters for my automatic food and craft material collection.  You don't get shells for strange moods, but you do get someone who can shoot back when enemies turn up, and ready candidates for a marksdwarf squad if it turns out you need one.

And I'd still rather have a superfluous loner murdered than a gregarious or highly important dwarf.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

Porpoisepower

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7570 on: April 04, 2013, 08:08:07 am »

One of my soldiers just made an artifact thong, cat leather thong.  No studs but it is bejeweled, and has an image of a necromancer dwarf ascending to king, and crescent moons.  ()() maybe?

« Last Edit: April 04, 2013, 08:18:27 am by Porpoisepower »
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That's what DF needs, The gutbuster brigade.  Screw that elf and his cat. Thibbledorf Pwent is the real hero.

Tamber

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7571 on: April 04, 2013, 03:49:40 pm »

fgsdfdsfdgsdghphrfgdifs.

Retracting bridges!  >:(
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MrSparky

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7572 on: April 04, 2013, 04:25:41 pm »

My woodshop was reporting a lack of wood towards the end of a run of bins. I cancelled the job and ordered the overworld deforested. Once the choppers were done I tried finishing the order. No joy. I checked the stockpile, still empty. I opened up therapist and made sure I had wood haulers designated. I did. Just in case the haulers were busy I assigned the labor to every dwarf. Commit changes, unpause, still 20 or so dwarves idle and nobody hauling wood. Made sure the wood wasn't forbidden. I then forbid it, let the dwarves realize it had been done, and reclaimed it. The wood was still not hauled. Removed and replaced the stockpile. Still no hauling. Then I had an odd thought and looked at the orders screen. It seems at some point I had inadvertently changed "Dwarves Gather Wood" to "Dwarves Ignore Wood".

I do not know why that option is there. I can't think of any use for it. But it's there and it seems I used it.
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Silverlock

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7573 on: April 04, 2013, 07:04:50 pm »

One of my soldiers just made an artifact thong, cat leather thong.  No studs but it is bejeweled, and has an image of a necromancer dwarf ascending to king, and crescent moons.  ()() maybe?

Please, for the love of all that is decent, never put cat leather thong near ()() again.  The parenthetic emoticon looks too much like buttcheeks. 


The horror, the horror . . .
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Hidden beneath rusting weapons was a mass of assorted bones. An elf, a goblin, even an ogre. All just waiting for someone to walk by and notice them, like some kind of land mine of horror.

Porpoisepower

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #7574 on: April 04, 2013, 08:59:01 pm »

I know it's the tackiest thong ever.  Made of Pussy cat leather, with a sparkly stones and a butt!
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That's what DF needs, The gutbuster brigade.  Screw that elf and his cat. Thibbledorf Pwent is the real hero.
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