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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2126570 times)

kefkakrazy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #345 on: July 22, 2009, 08:24:59 pm »

See, this is the reason why my fortress designs always incorporate a "dead layer"-the layer immediately below the fortress gate is left utterly empty as a cavein buffer, so I can't screw up and kaboom things so easily-this is good, considering that one of my favorite doomsday devices is, in essence, a gigantic sheet of solid DOOOOOOOOOOM to be dropped gently upon the heads of the unworthy.
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This is a Dwarven corpse. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of pathetic and menaces with spikes of fail.

Itnetlolor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #346 on: July 22, 2009, 09:34:09 pm »

I made a recent botch in my plans. It turns out that a reason for a good share of a lack of ore processing and glassmaking was because I forgot to reduce the minimum skill requirement for the shops to be used for a good portion of time (a minimum of 2 seasons at least). I had quality standards, until some ambushes later.

It kinda hindered parts of my production of my ship. but at least my dwarves got focused on the project more, in a way; but still... :facepalm:
« Last Edit: July 22, 2009, 11:12:04 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Adamantine Fist

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #347 on: July 22, 2009, 09:34:36 pm »

discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones
I just had a facepalm moment. I didn't know you could mass dump stones. >.<
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and D) involve Clippy, the helpful paperclip, to tell you what to do.
It looks like you are trying to commit elven genocide! What would you like to do?

skaltum

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #348 on: July 23, 2009, 05:12:04 am »

realising that i could forbid the claiming of dead bodies and dead dwarves and there stuff for when they die using r-o-F. we all know the pain of dwaves goin mental and getting slaughtered for a -silk sock-.


EDIT: i meant o-F  :P
« Last Edit: July 23, 2009, 05:15:55 am by skaltum »
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I just realized, after adding the new body parts to the other races, that I have an entire squad of dwarves with a shield in each hand and swinging their axes with their penises. There's nightmare fuel for those goblins, in more ways than one.

lordcooper

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #349 on: July 23, 2009, 11:14:58 am »

No less than 5 minutes ago, I let the orcs in.
10 wrestlers and an axelord.

73 of 74 dwarves died.

The sole survivor is an immigrant Soapmaker / Dabbling Wrestler.

Still, I shall not abandon!
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Santorum leaves a bad taste in my mouth

Shrike

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #350 on: July 23, 2009, 11:24:23 am »

After designing many a fort in vanilla mods, I've finally jumped to the 'Dig Deeper' mod with orcs.

I modded the orcs for triggers at 3, to give myself some time to build up, found a site with magma and a mountain (and non-potable aquifers, more good times).

And found this strange light blue metal exposed from the very start, way up near the top of this peak.

*Facepalm*

The king arrived in the second year. And went insane from losing a friend to an aquifer sealing incident and not having nice enough things.
*Facepalm*
Then, the orcs brought their first siege.
*Facepalm*
Just after the king went crazy, a gem cutter went fey, and made an artifact throne that would have made King Urist McBonkers happy.
*Facepalm*
And then, the king died one step away from his coffin.
*Sorta-amusing Facepalm*
And then the orcs sieged again and demonstrated that my walls weren't entirely finished.
*Bloody Facepalm*

Well, with my population cap set low and my walls complete, I can at least outlast the sieges until that lovely light blue metal has an armorer worthy of using it.

Gotta say: I'm definitely NOT bored with this fortress.
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skaltum

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #351 on: July 23, 2009, 11:32:51 am »

put up a map kiddo well of the after mathanyways
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I just realized, after adding the new body parts to the other races, that I have an entire squad of dwarves with a shield in each hand and swinging their axes with their penises. There's nightmare fuel for those goblins, in more ways than one.

Bluerobin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #352 on: July 23, 2009, 11:42:09 am »

Still, I shall not abandon!

YES!  I had a similar facepalm moment a while ago when a goblin siege got into a fortress (through a hole I somehow didn't know about) a while ago and killed everyone except for a child (who was knocked unconscious) before they just left.  Yeah... he was really emotionally scarred, but a wave of migrants showed up shortly afterwards and got things going again.
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The moment the lever was pulled, somebody's pet kitten stepped onto the bridge. I read somewhere that if a cat falls more than 11 stories, it instinctively flares its legs out to increase air resistance. This slows it down enough to stick the landing with relatively minor injuries. In Dwarf Fortress, apparently, cats don't do that.

buzz killington

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #353 on: July 23, 2009, 01:17:45 pm »

Spending a lot of time finding a great embark site, only to realize I used reveal on it without backing it up because I got so mechanical in just wading through find sites.
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redacted123

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« Reply #354 on: July 23, 2009, 01:49:57 pm »

-
« Last Edit: January 24, 2016, 03:13:04 pm by Stany »
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Dohon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #355 on: July 25, 2009, 10:22:38 am »

After messing about with some graphic sets and modding in the Orcs, I genned a new world and went hunting! At first, I wanted to give the new Dig Deeper version a go, but I still think I need some more training. Anyway. Found a nice 4 by 4 with HFS, trees, some flux and a river. I struck the earth and started digging like mad. Got some farms up and beer up, carved out a training room (stocked with 8 pumps) and started to carve out my "forge floor". No magma on the map, so I knew I needed the charcoal. My fortress reaches 50 dwarves and things are looking up. The recruits are training (their stats first, weapons once they are almost legendary pump operators) and I got my gate secured using 5 floodgates linked to a lever.

I had some problems with snatchers and thieves (meaning,they ran off faster than my recruits could wrestle and rip them apart), but then AMBUSH appeared. 8 goblins, only one of them armed with a hammer. They start chasing around my woodcutter and so, I decided: let's go rip them up! I select a squad of 4 and move them near the gate. Another squad was resting a few levels down, so the first squad would have to stall them. I felt victory was near, considering that in earlier ambushes (in different games), one armed dwarf (not even champion) would make mincemeat out of goblin wrestlers. I was sure that almost-legendary pump operators (with almost legendary stats) could cope with a few "gobbos".

The reverse happend. 2 Goblins came in and my 4-dwarf-team set upon them like a pack of rabid dogs. But I saw them go down, one by one. Arms were ripped off, one head come loose, blood everywhere. Not one gobbo went down. And then their buddies came along. You can guess what happend to my second squad.

I was screwed. I had no weapons to speak off (felt a bit too secure), so I did what every dwarf would do. 42 Dwarves formed up near the main acces shaft, yet I felt a bit ... unsure. That hammergoblin had killed that second squad all on his own. But as those wretched goblins came down, they were overwhelmed by numbers. It was bloody, it was carnage, ... It was GLORIOUS!

Butchersbill:

15 dwarves killed (including a legendary mason and carpenter. My Gem Setter keeps tantruming, but he always calms down without a fault. One child is going to die too, since I don't have leather in my stocks)

7 goblins (the hammergoblin got away)

This teached me some humility, but the real facepalm moment came when I found a small stockpile in the corner of my fortress. It said weapon storage. It had one steel hammer, an iron sword, and two bismuth bronze maces in it. All this time, I thought I didn't have weapons. Even in the hands of inexperienced recruits, it would have prevented the loss of so much Dwarfs. Now I gotta bury them all. Correction: my "Doctor" Dwarf has to bury them all. He has lost about 5 friends. Poor Dwarf.

(fun fact: my fisherdwarf [a mentally unstable one according to his profile] went into a martial trance and managed to break a few limbs before he was swarmed and wrestled to death. The Captain of the Guard tantrumed and started punching a few donkeys and my trader. This caused my Gem Setter to tantrum and run around, foaming at the mouth. When I looked at the Justice screen, my Captain has his crimes recorded, but he won't punish himself. Punching himself to dead is kinda ... hardcore, even for a dwarf.)

EDIT: This fort must be a bit cursed. Before the Goblin Ambush, my Stonecrafter-to-be got possessed, but he wanted gems and cloth ... which I did not have. He went berserk, but my woodcutter was near. So, a quick draft and problem solved, right? Nope. The berserker took my woodcutter head on and whooped her. The crafter was injured though and he bled to death, right in front of my squad of recruits (yes, the same squad that got butchered by a hammergoblin not too long after).

EDIT 2: My gem setter keeps tantruming and calming down. My mayor (my brewer) went insane however and is now running around, babbling and naked. I guess she too went insane after listening to my Gem Setter for the umptheenth time. The child went nuts too by the way. Better go dig a few more graves.

FINAL EDIT: Well, tantrum galore! Everyone was unhappy, but shit hit the fan when a child went berserk and MURDERED my legendary miner! Everyone started slugging it out and instead of abandoning, I did my last and final act. I opened the gate to the Orcs. First time I met those in quite some time and they cleaned up the place real quick. God, I'm loving this game. Gonna try a reclaim expedition later this evening.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2009, 11:13:18 am by Dohon »
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Quote from: Lolfail0009
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Also, why is there a stray hen having a tantrum?
CLUCK CLUCK MOTHERF***ER

NewoTigra

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #356 on: August 16, 2009, 09:23:16 pm »

FacePalm moment = just there now

was updating to the latest version and accidentally erased all my mods + reset init file.
Init file then proceeded to either crash DF or load it up in a (roughly)150x300 window. Fixed now, but still 3 hours of modding or so to redo >.<

EDIT: 2 and a half actually, and I took the opportunity to mod in a few other things I had lying around.

Another thing I remember giving myself mild concussion about was the mass hide / dump / forbid / melt menus. Nearly cracked the desk my head hit it so hard :P

Also, story above me = EPIC WIN.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2009, 10:59:53 pm by NewoTigra »
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elwessweettea

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #357 on: August 17, 2009, 02:15:24 am »

"Your strength has been broken" OH DRAT SOMEBODY MUST HAVE CUT DOWN ONE OF THE TREES IN MY PERIMETER WALL!!!!!

(Context: fort started in 116, dwarves named after good reallife friends, never had any deaths, never set foot outside the perimeter wall built in 116, never had any trade caravans from any civ, no immigrants [civilization died , every gem and ore was mined out, 28 dwarves, 2800+ meals, every non-child was legendary, and it was late winter of 135 -- the fort was just under 20 years old. Grrr.)
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Neruz

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #358 on: August 17, 2009, 02:24:46 am »

I just cut into what was apparantly a pressurised magma pipe.

Yeah.


After further investigation i worked out that the top layer of the pipe was obsidian, presumably turned into obsidian by the glacier on top of it, but that obsidian layer is still considered a 'part' of the pipe, so when i channeled down into the top of the pipe it went "o the pipe is empty" and spawned some magma to fill it up.

Right on top of my miners.

Hellcar

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #359 on: August 17, 2009, 04:09:24 am »

The one time I relied on forbidden doors isntead of retracting bridges to set the flow of enemies, I forgot dragons could destroy buildings and it made a bee-line into my farming and crafting area.
I hadn't even bothered to setup the military floor yet.

"Your strength has been broken" OH DRAT SOMEBODY MUST HAVE CUT DOWN ONE OF THE TREES IN MY PERIMETER WALL!!!!!
A tree was preventig your entire fortress caveing in on itself?
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