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Total Members Voted: 319

[ThatAussieGuy]

Alas, Ledi is dead. Bring on the next Ledi!

...if migrants ever come to this hellhole ever again. XD Someone HAS to eventually come in to look after the kittens.

Think of the kittens, who will think of the kittens?!

The butchers and craftdwarves of course.  Ammo and meat for the few survivors

[Mormota]

This particular episode of it, I mean.  Now, the challenge shall be trying to keep Failcannon alive and well with just 2 able-bodied dwarves.  I've appointed Erica the Chief Medical Dwarf - Katsuun has a little skill, but obviously he can't treat himself.  So... let's hope for the best.

Just 2 able-bodied dwarves! My dear sir, you forget that an injured dwarf is just nastier! Does my dwarf have any armour, or just the adamantine battle-axe?

[Dariush]

Great, first my welcoming sign, now my tower of doors are desecrated. What next, crocodiles roaming through my tomb?! Oh wait, that was in Ardentdikes. Why the hell does everyone hate my creations?! 

[ThatAussieGuy]

Great, first my welcoming sign, now my tower of doors are desecrated. What next, crocodiles roaming through my tomb?! Oh wait, that was in Ardentdikes. Why the hell does everyone hate my creations?! 

This is a dwarven successor fort.  Failcannon, no less.  If you make something great, the next overseer's gonna destroy it or pervert it into something entirely different from it's original purpose.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Great, first my welcoming sign, now my tower of doors are desecrated. What next, crocodiles roaming through my tomb?! Oh wait, that was in Ardentdikes. Why the hell does everyone hate my creations?! 

This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

[CatalystParadox]

Great, first my welcoming sign, now my tower of doors are desecrated. What next, crocodiles roaming through my tomb?! Oh wait, that was in Ardentdikes. Why the hell does everyone hate my creations?! 

Hey, let's be fair - Dirku desecrated your tower of doors.  Not even!  It's smeared with the blood of heroes and forgotten beasts now - I say "Improvement!"

This particular episode of it, I mean.  Now, the challenge shall be trying to keep Failcannon alive and well with just 2 able-bodied dwarves.  I've appointed Erica the Chief Medical Dwarf - Katsuun has a little skill, but obviously he can't treat himself.  So... let's hope for the best.

Just 2 able-bodied dwarves! My dear sir, you forget that an injured dwarf is just nastier! Does my dwarf have any armour, or just the adamantine battle-axe?

No armor yet - I'm sure he'll be picking some up here and there.  I assigned him a generic metal-armor uniform.

No matter how much abuse the world throws at it, Failcannon still stands. A bit worse for wear, of course, but nonetheless alive and (somewhat) well.


Now keep everyone inside and underground, and wait for more migrants to show up. This lumbering beast we call a fortress may yet become as vibrant as it once was. (besides, I have some Fun ideas I want to try should my turn come up)

I just need to get them to go seal up the hole Dirku left in the wall (who put that damn door there anyway!?) and shut the gate behind the traders, and we're locked off again!  This will probably lead to more concise updates, also.

Alas, Ledi is dead. Bring on the next Ledi!

...if migrants ever come to this hellhole ever again. XD Someone HAS to eventually come in to look after the kittens.

Think of the kittens, who will think of the kittens?!

The butchers and craftdwarves of course.  Ammo and meat for the few survivors

There are no kittens here, only madness and death. Also blood-smeared ruined doors made from goblin bones and awash with forgotton beast ichor that causes syndromes we'd rather not know of.  That reminds me - better keep away from the tower of doors now.  Dirku had "deadly blood".

No full update tonight.  Maybe a teaser. Expect a fairly lengthy one tomorrow.

[Mormota]

Why is the title "And then there were two"? Shouldn't it be three? I mean, we're currently all still alive. And by all, I mean 3 fresh migrants from a fort that numbered a hundred but a few months ago. Oh well, such is life FAILCANNON!

[CatalystParadox]

To clarify - there are two who are loyal (to the original civ, the Sword of Boots) and unhurt, Mormota II and Erica III.  Katsuun is badly hurt but still loyal and may yet recover.  ThatAussieDwarf and Catalyst have switched their loyalty to the other civ (pre-cascade citizens are loyal to both, I've noticed), and are enemies of Sword of Boots.  Duck, also an enemy of the sword of boots, is badly injured.

What we actually have are 2 equally sized sides, totalling 6 dwarves, 2 of each side able-bodied.  The only thing really making Sword of Boots the "legitimate" side right now is that they aren't the ones locked in their rooms.  Maybe I should just section them off and let them live out their lives and try to be an independent settlement.

[Strategia]

Maybe I should just section them off and let them live out their lives and try to be an independent settlement.

YES. Failcannon could become DF's Cyprus! The breakaways could live downstairs and dig all required materials, dumping them in airlocks for the loyalists to retrieve and replace with food and goods for the breakaways. Maybe Failcannon could become half a Mountainhome, capital of the new dwarven civ.


And if that doesn't work, I'm sure one faction would find some way to give the other a pleasantly warm magma jacuzzi treatment.

[Eric Blank]

I would say Erica III would be rightfully pissed right now. Not only does it turn out that her husband abandoned her, but the guy that pretended to be him had the gall to get her pregnant and is now trying to kill her.

It's on now, Aussie.

If we end up with two segregated settlements, rebels and loyalists, I want to be the one to flood them with magma.

[ThatAussieGuy]

It's on now, Aussie.

What?  Check the third set of secret diabolical instructions you were provided, you demented dwarfish cross-dresser!  This is all part of my dwarf's insidiously over-complex and genius plan!  Otherwise you won't get your plump helmet biscuit after i've taken over the the fortress and the world!

[Mormota]

This fort will forever be remembered. Not in the Halls of Legend, however, but in damp, dark prison cells as a horror story. I mean, seriously? The amount of death the world can throw at us is surely exhausted. Forgotten Beast civilisations living in our caves, most likely creating a sea of such horrors even the sight of it would rot a dwarf away. Traitorous dwarves serving another civ and becoming our enemies? This, gentlemen, is a true successor to Battlefailed.

[ImBocaire]

The fortress has survived rampaging FB syndromes and now a loyalty cascade... now it needs to survive the HFS from a breached tube of adamantine, and the horrible fortress death trifecta will be complete, and Failcannon shall become truly immortal.

[ThatAussieGuy]

That should be our next order of business once we recover with more dwarves, etc.  Train, prepare and conquer the circus.  FailCannon will not be truly brilliant until we control the Circus itself with a wall around the perimeter to keep new Clowns from coming in.

[Mormota]

That should be our next order of business once we recover with more dwarves, etc.  Train, prepare and conquer the circus.  FailCannon will not be truly brilliant until we control the Circus itself with a wall around the perimeter to keep new Clowns from coming in.

You want to keep the daemons out? It's FailCannon! We'll conquer Hell itself, and let its denizens throw at us fruitlessly, for we are immortal!