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Author Topic: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___  (Read 301203 times)

Doomblade187

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #630 on: October 11, 2013, 11:44:21 pm »

Well, I was toying around with second person, and added onto an old blurb I had a while back. Feedback is welcome. And no, I don't really know what the plot's supposed to be, though I have an idea of how the message could play out.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Digital Hellhound

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #631 on: October 13, 2013, 09:48:26 am »

I remembered that I'd suggested this once;

I wonder... the Paradox Forums had/possibly have a writing thing called 'Guess the Author'. Basically, a number of writers submit short pieces of writing related to a chosen common theme or idea. The stories are then gathered anonymously and open to criticism and comments by readers (who also try to guess who the author might be). After a time, the authors are revealed and the next round begins.

What I was thinking was if the same concept would work here. We don't have the same game AAR authors to go back on, though we could use FG&RP or the DF community stories and criticism can be found here. It could be more of a game with readers voting for best stories (keeping it anonymous so no bias), too.

Basically, I just like the idea of a regular writing exercises the forums could criticize and rate without bias either way that comes from knowing the author. A competitive factor wouldn't hurt.

The original GtA is here if you don't get what I mean, and I am never very clear.

And I still think it's a good idea. I'm sure one of you has waited for the opportunity to organize this forever, so now's your chance (because I can't be arsed to).

Also, here's a scene I wrote a while back (and actually posted somewhere on these forums), give it a looksie, comments, criticism;

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Superblackcat

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #632 on: January 08, 2014, 01:26:24 am »

Cries a little because this is dead

Quite a different voice...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Caz

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #633 on: January 08, 2014, 02:44:47 am »

Nice an corp SBC. We should inject some life into this thread again. Flash fiction contests or something.
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Superblackcat

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #634 on: January 08, 2014, 10:05:35 am »

You should talk about my earlier poem last page too!
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Tiruin

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #635 on: January 08, 2014, 11:00:26 am »

Cries a little because this is dead
It isn't dead it just-
...
Yeah it's mostly all my fault. :/
Give me until the weekend (or until Sunday)--critique inbound!
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #636 on: January 08, 2014, 11:30:47 am »

Nice an corp SBC. We should inject some life into this thread again. Flash fiction contests or something.
+1
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Superblackcat

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #637 on: January 08, 2014, 09:45:57 pm »

Define An Corp pls?
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Doomblade187

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #638 on: January 08, 2014, 10:58:55 pm »

Define An Corp pls?
I think he means a thread necro.
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Willfor

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #639 on: January 14, 2014, 08:12:20 pm »

Okay, I was hoping someone else would take the lead on this because I tend to have some time issues lately. But my current idea doesn't involve a whole lot of overhead on my part, and maybe this will help.

WRITER'S APPRENTICESHIP FLASH FICTION CHALLENGE 2014: JAN15-JAN22

This week's random prompt*: [196] - Hidden From Your Eyes

Write 300-1000 words, and post it to this thread under a spoiler. We'll not be competing for prizes, this is just for practice. Feel free to experiment.
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In the wells of livestock vans with shells and garden sands /
Iron mixed with oxygen as per the laws of chemistry and chance /
A shape was roughly human, it was only roughly human /
Apparition eyes / Apparition eyes / Knock, apparition, knock / Eyes, apparition eyes /

GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #640 on: January 15, 2014, 09:05:54 am »

1009 words. Technically a little long, then, but forgivably so, I hope.  :P

Don't know what inspired this for the most part. I felt we needed an apocalypse that wasn't zombies, though.

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« Last Edit: January 15, 2014, 01:42:42 pm by GiglameshDespair »
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TD1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #641 on: January 15, 2014, 12:25:20 pm »

Em, dunno if this fits the theme, but whatever  :P

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Also, a random poem I wrote.

NamÓlin the Sylvan Maid

O NamÓlin the Sylvan maid
Who wandered long on Urd
And learned the secrets of the den
And from the nest of bird

Her touch was gentle on the green
Which grew on forest hills.
Her magic long lay on the land
Which man now sows and tills.

Her gown of green and earthy brown
In sun shone as she walked
Through wooded hills and citadels;
To beasts and birds she talked

Of Lady Green the bards still sing
With sorrow in their song
For into night her story leads;
Her lands with shadows throng

Through Eastern woods her foot falls went
To border wreathed in fear
Which twists and turns through haunted hills
And cuts through shadowed mere

Ah, NamÓlin! Where walk you now?
The woods your passing mourn;
Their grief is seen in faded leaf
And branches torn by storm

Lamenting are the trees and stones
Which lie on icy ground
And moon-lit lakes shed silver tears,
For never was she found

The stars on high look down in grief
Upon the darkened land.
The sun shines on, but saddened now;
A dimmer flaming brand


Aaaaand another

A breeze which rippled through the grass,
Showed to me through ferny green,
A band of happy revellers
Who dance and joyful sing.

I stand in awe and look from high
Upon their tiny troupe.
They stand but an inch from the ground,
Arrayed in dancing hoop.

Bedecked in clothes of green and brown
They hop and skip and jump,
Around my feet they sing and beat
On drums a rhythmic thump

Their felt clad feet are very fleet,
Their song is sweet and high
It fills the hollows of the land
Then rising meets the sky.

They dance away into the wood,
The breeze which welcomed me,
Forsakes this place where I met them,
Their dance not mine to see.

Criticism is appreciated!
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #642 on: January 15, 2014, 12:59:28 pm »

I always preferred past tense to present tense, myself, but to each their own.

The
The demons at night are like a blanket of night. Hmmm. The sentences:
Quote
The dark hours are the worst; the monsters cover the mountain range like a blanket of night. But nonetheless, I am here. I am here, and my task will be finished. I swear it on my honour, my sword…my life. I only wish my friends could be here…But that is unimportant.
seem a but cheesy to me.

It's a bit odd to me the creature starting dropping down to ambush him in front of him. You'd think it'd at least wait until he was looking in a difference direction. Or jump on him. Either way.

Now your turn: what was wrong with mine?  :P
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TD1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #643 on: January 15, 2014, 01:24:20 pm »

Nothing wrong, really. It was well written. The only problem may be.

 he turned and ran best he could, the broken rib grating in his chest with every step.

Seems a bit non-descriptive. Broken rib? Grating? You should describe the waves of pain he feels, dots floating in front of his vision. Something like that, anyway.
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sjm9876

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #644 on: January 15, 2014, 01:30:30 pm »

705 words of slight rambling. I had/have no idea where this was going.

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My dreams are not unlike yours - they long for the safety, and break like a glass chandelier.
But there's laughter and oh there is love, just past the edge of our fears.
And there's chaos when push comes to shove, but it's music to my ears.

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