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Author Topic: Beware the Giant Sponge  (Read 38044 times)

varangian

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Beware the Giant Sponge
« on: February 17, 2012, 04:08:15 am »

So my new fortress started up in a wilderness biome next to a river. I started getting a few messages that dwarves with fishing or hygiene on their mind were being interrupted by a giant sponge. On investigation I found it anchored 2 tiles into the river. What to do?

Plan A. Ignore it. It's a sessile creature without nervous, circulatory or digestive systems and no limbs. Also made of sponge. Apart from surprising the more nervous dwarves what harm can it do? This plan lasted a few seasons until, in a sudden fit of homicidal rage, the sponge slaughtered 3 dwarves in rapid succession with mighty blows of its <not exactly sure>

Plan B. Send the militia. I've got some competent axe and hammer dwarves in a squad. They won't accept a kill order as they can't reach the target but stationing them on the river bank soon gets a fight going. The axe dwarf manages to hack into the sponge a few times before joining his squadmates at the bottom of the river. The sponge appears unharmed. This makes sense as there are some species of sponge that you can force through a mesh until they're a puddle of disconnected cells which, if left to their own devices, will re-assemble themselves back into sponge.

Plan C. Wall off that section of the river until I strike magma at which point Spongebob is going to get a surprise. Unless I can institute a sponge breeding program and create a moat filled with sponges around the fortress. That should give the gobbos something to think about.

So props to whoever sponsored the sponge's inclusion in DF. A pretty boring creature IRL becomes a source of endless fun.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2012, 05:01:45 am by varangian »
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MaximumZero

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2012, 04:29:37 am »

...what.
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Giygas

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2012, 04:38:42 am »

i knew it!
the spirit of the carp return: Spongebob is a carpspawned merciless killer!
if a simple sponge does that i don't want to think what a spogeman can do...
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miauw62

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2012, 04:45:56 am »

Dwarf Fortress The Movie: Revenge of the carp
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Di

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2012, 05:34:14 am »

Dig under the river, build cage traps and carve ramp into the riverbed next to this magnificent creature. Next, dig a pool build cage and link it to lever, fill pool with 3/7 or 2/7 level of water, release the mighty beast on next goblin siege.
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Qwicol

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2012, 05:42:15 am »

Can You copy a combat log with this merciless creature?
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Ubiq

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2012, 05:49:13 am »

It probably pushed them to death; large creatures that have had all their limbs removed (or, in this case, never had them) can still kill dwarves that way. It's probably easier to imagine that it simply crushed them to death by rolling on them.
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Kento

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2012, 05:58:30 am »

Build bridges on both sides of it, and force invaders to have to walk passed it.
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Hotaru

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2012, 06:01:47 am »

Or, for something truly terrifying, you could catapult the beast at your enemies with a retractable bridge. It probably can't even air-drown as it doesn't have gills. Or?
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Gamerlord

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2012, 06:02:25 am »

wut.  :o

TSTwizby

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2012, 06:06:52 am »

What...

But, that... It can't... Huh?

How does this even... Why are the dwarves going into the river? Does it... drag them there? It... Gah...
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Urist McGyver

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2012, 06:16:52 am »

What...

But, that... It can't... Huh?

How does this even... Why are the dwarves going into the river? Does it... drag them there? It... Gah...

Dwarf Fortress and its lovecraftian horrors.
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Qwicol

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2012, 06:28:21 am »

Facts:
Sponges are silly creatures.
They dont have nervous system so no brain.
Typical sponge can do three things: breed, grow and filter water.
Live of sponge is rather boring yet peacefull.
Typical sponges eat plankton but I'm pretty sure they prefer jam but are unable to eat it. Poor creatures...

BUT

long text!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Minnakht

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2012, 06:53:33 am »

i knew it!
the spirit of the carp return: Spongebob is a carpspawned merciless killer!
if a simple sponge does that i don't want to think what a spogeman can do...

Die easily due to head loss or bisection - two things the normal sponge can't do. That's why it's so dangerous.
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greatorder

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Re: Beware the Giant Sponge
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2012, 06:57:41 am »

IRL, sponges can't really be killed by force.
you can put three in a blender, turn it on, and put them in some water, and they'll reform into the three original sponges.

we need chemical warfare.

bring on the titans with poisonous blood.
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