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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661045 times)

hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2100 on: April 10, 2015, 05:08:42 am »
Quote from: Tack on April 09, 2015, 01:52:18 pm
Quote from: Objective on March 17, 2015, 08:13:52 pm
I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

Went back and saw this one.
Laughed too hard.
Yay, it didn't fly over everyone's head! :D
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2101 on: April 10, 2015, 08:17:19 am »
Quote from: origamiscienceguy on April 09, 2015, 11:43:36 pm
how many band directors does it take to replace a light bulb?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
FTFY
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Quote from: Fluffe9911 on March 08, 2023, 02:45:47 pm
I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2102 on: April 10, 2015, 01:23:41 pm »
All originals, most terrible.

How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How many Latvian take screw in lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How many illegals does it take to change a lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How many kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How many marines does it take to change a lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 01:54:44 pm by Tack »
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

timferius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2103 on: April 10, 2015, 01:27:42 pm »
Quote from: Objective on April 10, 2015, 05:08:42 am
Quote from: Tack on April 09, 2015, 01:52:18 pm
Quote from: Objective on March 17, 2015, 08:13:52 pm
I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

Went back and saw this one.
Laughed too hard.
Yay, it didn't fly over everyone's head! :D
I just re-read it a few times, and nearly died when I figured it out. That was amazing.
Logged

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2104 on: April 10, 2015, 02:01:31 pm »
A little heartwarmer.
There's a little girl and her dad, and Christmas is coming up. She's been told by another kid at school that Santa isn't real, and she's obviously distraught.
She asks him "Is Santa real?". The dad looks her in the eyes. He's never lied to his child before and he never wants to.
He says "do you really want to know?"
"Yes" she sniffs.
"Are you absolutely sure? I will tell you an answer you may REALLY not want to hear"
She's crying and shouting 'Tell me tell me tell me!'
He leans forward, puts his hand on her shoulder, leans in and says.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 10:32:35 pm by Tack »
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

SirQuiamus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2105 on: April 10, 2015, 04:06:59 pm »
How many Santas does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Iceblaster

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2106 on: April 10, 2015, 05:02:04 pm »
And then random kid #474 cries themselves to sleep over this.

:P
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Fniff

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2107 on: April 10, 2015, 05:03:36 pm »
What do you call a lion with a flower in it's mane?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quartz_Mace

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2108 on: April 10, 2015, 05:30:39 pm »
Minor race jokes following. Like really minor. Like color of the skin with no assumptions of a person's personality or any other qualities.

What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A person complains that an all-white school is turning down all colored kids. The science teacher says, "Oh, you're mistaken. We have all colored kids." The person responds, "What do you mean?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And this one isn't race:
What do you call a bunch of orange people running down a hill?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 05:42:24 pm by Quartz_Mace »
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Quote from: Lord_lemonpie on January 21, 2015, 03:52:20 pm
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Quote from: Max™ on September 27, 2014, 01:14:22 am
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2109 on: April 10, 2015, 07:48:03 pm »
Warning: This joke is corrosive to eyes and brain alike. Do not read.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2110 on: April 10, 2015, 08:21:52 pm »
Quote from: Quartz_Mace on April 10, 2015, 05:30:39 pm
And this one isn't race:
What do you call a bunch of orange people racing down a hill?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
FTFY
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“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Flying Dice

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2111 on: April 10, 2015, 08:33:08 pm »
Here's one lifted from elsewhere:

As a man is walking home from work, he encounters a child slouched over in an alley, covered by a ratty coat. He strikes up a conversation, not being particularly keen to get home, and after a few minutes comes to the awkward, obvious question.

"You're an orphan, then?"

"Yes sir... but if I can ask, what gave me away?"

"Your parents."
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Aurora on small monitors:
1. Game Parameters -> Reduced Height Windows.
2. Lock taskbar to the right side of your desktop.
3. Run Resize Enable

Worldmaster27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2112 on: April 10, 2015, 10:34:52 pm »
Reposted from photo thread, as requested by tA :P
Quote from: Worldmaster27 on April 10, 2015, 08:20:40 pm
Quote from: Kadzar on April 10, 2015, 08:15:46 pm
Most guns that don't shoot actual bullets [have plastic orange caps on the barrel] to try to stop police officers from shooting children.
[terribleJoke] Wouldn't it be easier to just paint the children white? [/terribleJoke]
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2113 on: April 12, 2015, 12:45:38 pm »
Spoiler: WARNING: JOKE IS CORROSIVE TO EYES AND INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT (click to show/hide)
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2114 on: April 12, 2015, 03:40:33 pm »
Quote from: Tawarochir on April 12, 2015, 12:45:38 pm
Spoiler: WARNING: JOKE IS CORROSIVE TO EYES AND INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT (click to show/hide)
MY EYES AND IQ ARE BURNING SO MUCH!
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Quote from: Akura on April 17, 2016, 12:06:46 pm
We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.
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