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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 663156 times)

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2220 on: May 11, 2015, 12:58:53 pm »
Now I'm curious.
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a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2221 on: May 11, 2015, 02:15:20 pm »
I've been taking a walk through the park today, when I came upon two men in city-worker's reflective vests. One of them was digging holes in the ground and the other was filling them up.
- What in the world are you two doing? - I asked
- Well, y'see we usually have this third guy with us, right, and he plants trees in the holes. But he's out sick today.
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

darkpaladin109

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2222 on: May 11, 2015, 04:21:28 pm »
Quote from: a1s on May 11, 2015, 02:15:20 pm
I've been taking a walk through the park today, when I came upon two men in city-worker's reflective vests. One of them was digging holes in the ground and the other was filling them up.
- What in the world are you two doing? - I asked
- Well, y'see we usually have this third guy with us, right, and he plants trees in the holes. But he's out sick today.
Is the joke supposed to be that their work is redundant without someone planting the trees?
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TheDarkStar

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2223 on: May 11, 2015, 04:24:02 pm »
Quote from: darkpaladin109 on May 11, 2015, 04:21:28 pm
Quote from: a1s on May 11, 2015, 02:15:20 pm
I've been taking a walk through the park today, when I came upon two men in city-worker's reflective vests. One of them was digging holes in the ground and the other was filling them up.
- What in the world are you two doing? - I asked
- Well, y'see we usually have this third guy with us, right, and he plants trees in the holes. But he's out sick today.
Is the joke supposed to be that their work is redundant without someone planting the trees?
*facepalm*
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SquatchHammer

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2224 on: May 11, 2015, 08:03:03 pm »
Bad racist joke, maybe already said but I thought it was "appropriate" for the thread. If offended sorry just thought it was that bad.

Spoiler: What sport Mexicans love the most? (click to show/hide)
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redwallzyl

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2225 on: May 11, 2015, 09:01:08 pm »
Quote from: SquatchHammer on May 11, 2015, 08:03:03 pm
Bad racist joke, maybe already said but I thought it was "appropriate" for the thread. If offended sorry just thought it was that bad.

Spoiler: What sport Mexicans love the most? (click to show/hide)
i thought it was endurance swimming and climbing. sorry :P
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Rose

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2226 on: May 11, 2015, 10:03:23 pm »
Quote from: Helgoland on May 11, 2015, 12:58:53 pm
Now I'm curious.
Beat this one:

Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store in NY :-

Don't ever fart here;
the smell will stay for ages.
We don't have Windows.😂
########$$#########

 And tit for tat from Microsoft in their premises..

"Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple."🍎🍏

We have been providing open window system to the world since ages. 😝
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My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2227 on: May 11, 2015, 10:07:01 pm »
That's kinda funny, but mostly terrible. Especially those emoticons.
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Akura

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2228 on: May 12, 2015, 10:53:59 am »
Quote from: a1s on May 11, 2015, 02:15:20 pm
I've been taking a walk through the park today, when I came upon two men in city-worker's reflective vests. One of them was digging holes in the ground and the other was filling them up.
- What in the world are you two doing? - I asked
- Well, y'see we usually have this third guy with us, right, and he plants trees in the holes. But he's out sick today.

I imagine that with the way the unions are, that could actually happen.

Quote from: redwallzyl on May 11, 2015, 09:01:08 pm
Quote from: SquatchHammer on May 11, 2015, 08:03:03 pm
Bad racist joke, maybe already said but I thought it was "appropriate" for the thread. If offended sorry just thought it was that bad.

Spoiler: What sport Mexicans love the most? (click to show/hide)
i thought it was endurance swimming and climbing. sorry :P

Endurance swimming would be the Cubans.
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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2229 on: May 12, 2015, 04:07:30 pm »
I had an idea for a standup bit. It doesn't really work in this format, but I'll summarize it

"black people walk like this" (commedian walks across the stage normally), "But white people walk like this" (commedian goose steps back across the stage making the Nazi salute)
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2230 on: May 12, 2015, 04:34:01 pm »
Why did the dyslexic photoshop a fig?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why did the teacher with a lisp convince his students that he had a leprechaun's eyes?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 14, 2015, 03:12:34 pm by Tawarochir »
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Rose

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2231 on: May 16, 2015, 09:06:26 pm »
Quote from: Whatsapp
This needs to be shared 😜😜

Son: Mom, U said that we
         are created by God
         and dad said that we
         have evolved from
         monkeys, Which is
         true?

Mom:   I told U about my
             side of the family
              and he told about
               his side of the
               family.
            😜😂😜😂
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Spehss _

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2232 on: May 16, 2015, 09:53:59 pm »
Why use "U" instead of "you" if all the other grammar is adequate.

And why the gratuitous use of smiley faces.
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i2amroy

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2233 on: May 16, 2015, 10:05:01 pm »
Quote from: Spehss _ on May 16, 2015, 09:53:59 pm
And why the gratuitous use of smiley faces.
>:( :( WHAT!?! ::) ;D There :) ;) :D can :o 8) ??? never ^-^ :P be :-[ :-X too :-\ :-* many :'( :)) O0 smileys! >:D C:-) 0:)
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Spehss _

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2234 on: May 16, 2015, 10:15:30 pm »
Quote from: i2amroy on May 16, 2015, 10:05:01 pm
O0
Woah, never seen that one before.
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Quote from: Ispil on September 23, 2016, 02:25:08 pm
Turns out you can seriously not notice how deep into this shit you went until you get out.
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