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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661070 times)

Jopax

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2325 on: June 29, 2015, 07:37:03 am »

Life is sad.
But not in Latvia!
In Latvia sad is forbidden, taken into forest and shot.
Like mother and father.

Such is life.
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"my batteries are low and it's getting dark"
AS - IG

acetech09

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2326 on: June 29, 2015, 11:34:48 am »

Life is sad.
But not in Latvia!
In Latvia sad is forbidden, taken into forest and shot.
Like mother and father.

Such is life.

Ohhh, that's good.
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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

TheDarkStar

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2327 on: June 29, 2015, 12:03:17 pm »

Two Latvian look at clouds.
One see potato.
Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.

One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask, "Who is?"
"Is potato man, I come around to give free potato."
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man, is secret police.
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2328 on: June 29, 2015, 12:15:57 pm »

Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
A: None.
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Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2329 on: June 29, 2015, 06:23:51 pm »

Two latvian look at sky.
One see potato. Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Whole sky is cloud. Weather is bad. Latvian are cold.

Psh, c'mon. It was barely 50 pages ago.
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Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2330 on: June 29, 2015, 06:26:54 pm »

Two latvian look at sky.
One see potato. Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Whole sky is cloud. Weather is bad. Latvian are cold.

Psh, c'mon. It was barely 50 pages ago.
And it is no less funny.

Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2331 on: June 30, 2015, 08:07:05 pm »

Why did the Spanish racist have a mustache?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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BlackFlyme

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2332 on: June 30, 2015, 08:13:34 pm »

My girlfriend accuses me of all sorts of stupid things. Like just yesterday, where she claimed that I wear her lingerie when she's not around. So I did what any reasonable person in this situation would do.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Just kidding. I'm lonelier than Pluto felt after being rejected by his planetary chums.
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StupidElves

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2333 on: June 30, 2015, 09:16:23 pm »

Q.) How do Reavers clean their spears?
A.) They put it through the Wash!
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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2334 on: July 01, 2015, 01:16:59 am »

-My girlfriend accused me of being a pedophile. I'm impressed, that's a pretty big word for an eight year old.

-Donald Trump is running for president as a Republican. I'm surprised, I was sure he was with the Whig party.

Q.) Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
A.) Because they have no fashion sense.

Q.) Why did the chicken cross the road?
A.) It was being taken to the slaughterhouse.

Q.) Why did the chicken cross the road?
A.) It was in my colon while I was crossing the road.

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Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2335 on: July 01, 2015, 01:41:14 am »

- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Well, I had to get home from KFC, didn't I?
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Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2336 on: July 05, 2015, 07:29:17 pm »

Why did the deer cross the road?

It wanted to do a frontflip over that car. It worked, but the deer didn't.
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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2337 on: July 07, 2015, 08:48:31 pm »

A man gets a very bad infection on his penis and is informed by his doctor that his penis will need to be amputated. Refusing to believe it, he storms out and goes fo get a second opinion from another doctor. The second doctor also tells him his penis will need to be amputated, so he goes to a third doctor who tells him likewise. Finally, in desperation, he goes to a practitioner of traditional chinese medicine.
"You've gotta help me" he says, "my doctor told me he's gonna have to cut my penis off"
"Western doctor always want to cut cut cut" the practitioner replies, "you go home, wait two, three week. Penis fall off all by itself"
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What is TPP
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Akura

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2338 on: July 13, 2015, 10:32:20 am »

Quote from: a book titled "14000 Things to be Happy About"
babies that never cry

Quote from: a coworker
What kind of baby never cries?

Spoiler: my response (click to show/hide)
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hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2339 on: July 13, 2015, 10:41:38 am »

Quote from: a book titled "14000 Things to be Happy About"
babies that never cry

Quote from: a coworker
What kind of baby never cries?

Spoiler: my response (click to show/hide)
The female parental unit will instead be the one crying. And also beating you over the head with a vase.

Such is life.
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