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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661104 times)

Dirst

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2640 on: October 07, 2015, 03:25:31 pm »

Having read through this thread, I learned some things.

First, Latvians really love potatoes.  They just love them from afar.


Second, it's better to have five dead baby jokes show up in one part of the thread than to have the one dead baby joke show up in five parts of the thread.

Third, I suspect that the Russian jokes are actually funny and only become terrible when translated into English.

Fourth, do not follow any links in this thread.  They are either unsafe for work, or Rick Astley (which might also be unsafe depending on where you work).

Fifth, reading too much of this thread ensures you a ticket to Hell.

Sixth, it will also ruin your eyes. You're squinting because you're going to Hell.
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2641 on: October 07, 2015, 03:53:33 pm »

I am always so weirded out by the Latvian potato jokes. I mean, I get Irish potato jokes, but the Latvian SSR (which I guess where those jokes are supposed to be set) always had one of the highest consumption levels per capita in the whole USSR. And during the Latvian Republic times before that, it didn't really lack for potato either, IIRC. Now, Latvia has plenty potato as well (even though it is all probably imported from their Euroverlords </joke>). As far as I can tell, there has never been a period in which Latvia had less potato than neighboring lands.

Are those jokes supposed to be Latvian as in told by Latvians, or Latvian as in about Latvians?
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Comrade P.

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2642 on: October 07, 2015, 04:05:12 pm »

You see, Dirst, you speak about Russians on the net, there is a ~90% chance a Russian will appear and comment on your opinion.

I'll leave out the part where there is also a chance that there is a strong probability of another Russian emerging immediately after first one with a radically different opinion, and those two start a flamewar.[/joke]

I'm actually with Avis on this particular topic. I also don't get the Latvian potato jokes for the very same reasons.
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Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2643 on: October 07, 2015, 04:10:50 pm »

I think it's a case of Eagleland geography skills: All that was needed was a funny-sounding sort-of-Russian place to tell jokes about.
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2644 on: October 07, 2015, 04:25:56 pm »

Speaking as an American, I don't get the Latvia jokes either and the Wikipedia article offered no clues.

My best guess is that they're a sort of extension of "hee hee the commies are poor"-type jokes, adding Polandball English into the mix.
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Comrade P.

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2645 on: October 07, 2015, 04:49:05 pm »

My best guess is that they're a sort of extension of "hee hee the commies are poor"-type jokes, adding Polandball English into the mix.

Well, let's leave it at that. Seems plausible.
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Sheb

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2646 on: October 07, 2015, 06:22:02 pm »

What's the warmest organ in a dead baby?





My dick.
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2647 on: October 07, 2015, 07:09:12 pm »

Sheb, no.
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BlackFlyme

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2648 on: October 07, 2015, 07:31:28 pm »

Want to hear something bad?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Totally terrible?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Horribly horrific?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Fully fucked-up?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The worst part?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The worsterest part?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Completely corrupt?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I used to have a coworker who was all about dead babies. And extreme sports. Not necessarily mutually exclusive interests, depending on how persuasive you are while in front of a jury of your peers.
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2649 on: October 07, 2015, 07:51:21 pm »

Those were awesome terrible jokes.
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a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2650 on: October 07, 2015, 08:04:29 pm »

Latvian SSR (which I guess where those jokes are supposed to be set) always had one of the highest consumption levels per capita in the whole USSR. And during the Latvian Republic times before that, it didn't really lack for potato either, IIRC. Now, Latvia has plenty potato as well (even though it is all probably imported from their Euroverlords </joke>). As far as I can tell, there has never been a period in which Latvia had less potato than neighboring lands.
That's exactly right, good job. (except those sneaky Eestis hoarding 10% more potatoes </nojoke>) The way I figure this one is that the Latvians brought the Irish jokes back with them after going there to pick strawberries (again, nojoke- this is kind of a national problem) and added a bit of Soviet flavor to them, while, ironically, taking out the heavy drinking aspects.

In that spirit:
Latvian find potato and wonder: do I eat it? He try keep it for to make better. Potato doesn't ferment because is rock. Latvian can't forget horrible life.

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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2651 on: October 08, 2015, 12:41:28 am »

Q.) Why did the racist chef not notice when he accidentally chopped his finger off?
A.) He was cutlery insensitive
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scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2652 on: October 08, 2015, 02:31:16 am »

In that spirit
I see what you did there :D
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H4zardZ1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2653 on: October 08, 2015, 04:04:49 am »

Do i have to do wit the babies and the carb-on at the same time?

Wheeplash. Sorry, you make the ans wer.
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SOLDIER First

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2654 on: October 08, 2015, 08:32:51 am »

*clears throat*
Donald Trump.
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