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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 663034 times)

BlackFlyme

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2715 on: October 16, 2015, 10:34:02 pm »
There is no punch-line/punch line/line for the punch juice.
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crazyabe

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2716 on: October 16, 2015, 10:45:48 pm »
PTWWW.BADJOKESRUS.FU
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“Don’t quote me.”
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Foxite

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2717 on: October 17, 2015, 11:49:49 am »
This one might work better in dutch. The original version was "Heb je gehoord over die immigrant? Die spaart voor zijn uitzet."

I'm not sure if it's as good in english, but I'll try to translate it. "Did you hear about that immigrant? He's saving up for his set-out."
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Quote from: Melting Sky on December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 pm
The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2718 on: October 17, 2015, 11:51:10 am »
Sounds like it only works in Dutch. That just comes across as a declarative sentence in English.
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Foxite

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2719 on: October 17, 2015, 11:52:38 am »
Quote from: Tawarochir on October 17, 2015, 11:51:10 am
Sounds like it only works in Dutch. That just comes across as a declarative sentence in English.
In this case, the set-out is a double entendre for being sent back to your home country, which you fled from, and the furniture, dishes etc. that you buy when you first buy a house. I guess that isn't a thing in english then.
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Quote from: Melting Sky on December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 pm
The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2720 on: October 17, 2015, 11:56:38 am »
Quote from: Tawarochir on October 17, 2015, 11:51:10 am
Sounds like it only works in Dutch. That just comes across as a declarative sentence in English.
Yeah, those aren't synonymous.
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Sigtext

Quote from: Hanslanda on April 12, 2017, 09:32:01 pm
It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Descan

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2721 on: October 17, 2015, 12:06:10 pm »
Usually people say "deported" in english.

You could make a pun about getting your port wine taken away, and getting shipped home, I guess? :D
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Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2722 on: October 17, 2015, 12:48:18 pm »
Quote from: Descan on October 17, 2015, 12:06:10 pm
Usually people say "deported" in english.

You could make a pun about getting your port wine taken away, and getting shipped home, I guess? :D

now THAT would be a truly terrible joke.
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Quote from: Max™ on July 20, 2016, 06:17:12 pm
This conversation is getting disturbing fast, disturbingly erotic.

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2723 on: October 18, 2015, 04:19:26 am »
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What's red and bad for your teeth?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
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Why did little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Why can't bicycles stand on their own?
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Where did Mary go after the explosion?
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Reposted from imgur.
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Dutrius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2724 on: October 18, 2015, 07:08:06 am »
Quote from: My Name is Immaterial on October 18, 2015, 04:19:26 am
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

90 degrees is too cold. You need to stand in a circle for the full 360 degrees.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2725 on: October 18, 2015, 07:46:12 am »
Quote from: Dutrius on October 18, 2015, 07:08:06 am
Quote from: My Name is Immaterial on October 18, 2015, 04:19:26 am
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

90 degrees is too cold. You need to stand in a circle for the full 360 degrees.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In that case your 360 degrees would be colder than Immaterial's 90 degrees, since Kelvin starts from absolute zero rather than the freezing/melting point of water.

But Fahrenheit is just stupid. The zero point being the freezing/melting-point of brine (equal proportions of salt and ice) whereas pure water freezes/melts at 32, and boils at 212. The human body is 96 on that scale, so wtf Mr. Fahrenheit?
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

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the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2726 on: October 18, 2015, 07:47:36 am »
Quote from: hector13 on October 18, 2015, 07:46:12 am
Quote from: Dutrius on October 18, 2015, 07:08:06 am
Quote from: My Name is Immaterial on October 18, 2015, 04:19:26 am
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

90 degrees is too cold. You need to stand in a circle for the full 360 degrees.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In that case your 360 degrees would be colder than Immaterial's 90 degrees, since Kelvin starts from absolute zero rather than the freezing/melting point of water.

But Fahrenheit is just stupid. The zero point being the freezing/melting-point of brine (equal proportions of salt and ice) whereas pure water freezes/melts at 32, and boils at 212. The human body is 96 on that scale, so wtf Mr. Fahrenheit?
It is weird.
Also, more like 98.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2015, 07:57:01 am by TheBiggerFish »
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Sigtext

Quote from: Hanslanda on April 12, 2017, 09:32:01 pm
It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2727 on: October 18, 2015, 08:01:37 am »
Quote from: Dutrius on October 18, 2015, 07:08:06 am
90 degrees is too cold. You need to stand in a circle for the full 360 degrees.
Are you getting baked?
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Quote from: Fluffe9911 on March 08, 2023, 02:45:47 pm
I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2728 on: October 18, 2015, 08:23:06 am »
Degrees Rankine, anyone?
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2729 on: October 18, 2015, 08:23:10 am »
Fahrenheit is perfect. In Celsius, a fever is around 38 degrees. But in Fahrenheit, the fever is a glorious 100 degrees.

I all seriousness, Kelvin is best for physicists, Celsius is best for chemists, and Fahrenheit is best for everyday life. Cause 'Merica
« Last Edit: October 18, 2015, 08:33:24 am by origamiscienceguy »
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)
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