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[delphonso]

Floridans are born with shitty tattoos

[A_Curious_Cat]

"yeah, I'd like to get a tattoo on my upper arm.  Y'know that emoji... the one that's, like, some chocolate ice cream with eyes and a mouth?"

[King Zultan]

It waz inevitaball.

[Fikilili]

Reptile men are morel likely to steal bananas from monkeys and gorillas. This has a chance to start a war between reptile men, alligator men, crocodile men, and giant gorillas.

[delphonso]

Reptile men are often found wearing crowns.

[Starver]

Plumbing is created just so we can have plumbers.

[King Zultan]

Plumbers should be able to one shot kill any turtle or mushroom simply by jumping on them.

[Fikilili]

Replace the intro with the brand new DF rap, explaining the purpose of each race.

Here, here, here we go !

So they’re finally here,
performing for you !
If you know the words,
you can join in too !
Put your hands together,
if you wanna clap,
As we take you through
this Dwarven rap !
Huh !

DF !
Dwarf Fortress !

They’re the beardest of the bunch,
You know them well,
they’re finally back,
To dig some clay !
Their iron bolt guns
Can fire in spurts
If they shoot ya,
It’s gonna hurt !
They’re shorter, studier, and stronger too !
They’re the first members of the DF crew !
Huh !

DF !
Dwarf Fortress !
DF !
God of Blood is here !

Theses lads got style !
So listen up, trolls !
They can conquer worlds
To assume their roles!
They’re tall and nimble
When they need to be
They can make villages
And cut down trees !
If you choose them
although you can’t,
with a skip and a bop
Humans sure rock !

DF !
Dwarf Fortress !
DF !
God of Blood is here !

They have no chill
They have no houses
Th-th-these kobolds have some funny faces !
They can sneak in
when they need to
and steal some items
right from your hosts !
And disappear
just like some ghosts !
These crazy fellas
Just crave their tune!
Huh !

DF !
Dwarf Fortress !
DF !
God of Blood is here !

They’re back again and about time too !
And this time, they have so much wood !
They can brag really hard about their trees
With their wood’ bows out, they’re some tough Elves !
They can make you shrug with their complaints
But goblins beware, cuz they’re after you !

DF !
Dwarf Fortress !
DF !
God of Blood is here !

Finally, they’re here for you !
They’re the last member of the DF crew !
These lads are so grim, they aren’t funny
Can make the dead come back with glory !
Can create beings with relative ease !
Makes scaring goblins seem such a breeze !
They may be cursed, they scheme in the dark
But necromancers are some really weird guys !
Huh !

C’mon Toady, take it to the carps !

G-g-g-goblins, big trolls, demon lords smells,
Ad-amantine, diamonds, clay and FB shells!
Oh yeah !

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm terrible for writing songs. My english is already quite terrible.

[Starver]

Hedgehogs have an automatic Gait speed setting of 100. They path to and pick up any rings they can.

[delphonso]

-snip-

Fikilili, I love you.

[IndigoFenix]

Implement conservation of mass and energy.  For example, when eaten, food becomes part of the consumer's mass.

If there is no code specifying what should happen to an object's mass when it is destroyed, it defaults to total mass-energy conversion.

Dwarven atom smashers remain in the game and cause this to happen when used.

[Egan_BW]

I did briefly consider the possibility of a Donkey Kong Country mod, with evil reptoids coming to steal all your precious bananas. Not sure if it's really viable currently though.

[MC]

I dont see why you couldn't do that. The only possible issue would be making them want your bananas specifically but you could just make bananas stupidly valuable. Kinda like how you can mostly deal with Kea by leaving out "offerings" of spiky wooden balls.

[Azerty]

["The DF Rap"]

Can someone make a video out of this?

[A_Curious_Cat]

I dont see why you couldn't do that. The only possible issue would be making them want your bananas specifically but you could just make bananas stupidly valuable. Kinda like how you can mostly deal with Kea by leaving out "offerings" of spiky wooden balls.

Next time I'm out in the forest and a spiky wooden ball falls on my head, I'll know who to blame.