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[Lolfail0009]

Dear Cakepa, Deity of the Sapiocoatls of the Hairy Wheels,

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seriously, dafuq, dude?

[pisskop]

Dear Cakepa, Deity of the Sapiocoatls of the Hairy Wheels,

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seriously, dafuq, dude?

Kobolds make alot of funky gods, like the Keaman god.  Of course I gave them nature sphere.

[Lolfail0009]

Sapiocoatls are a modded race of scaly, winged humanoids.
With infinite brokers

[GreatWyrmGold]

That sounds brokered.

[Urist McUselessNoble]

Attention all personnel
Please be aware that it is your responsibility to keep your possessions out of the combined-cycle garbage incinerator and obsidian farm.

The fortress of Steelguard accepts no responsibility for pets, articles of clothing or other valuables left in the obsidian farm during operation.

Sincerely,
The management

[DiezIrae]

Dear Urist McCarpenter,

I don't know what the cats did to you, but please stop drowning them beside my cat-a-pult and just put them on it to see them fly at the Skunk women.

Thank you,
Thy great one.

[misko27]

Dear Urist McMilitia,

i would like to congratulate you on complete and utter ineptitude today. However, First I'd like to congratualte a special few. Firstly, I'd like to congratulate the recruits, who managed to train the were-capybara that was strangling to legendary dodgning levels. Seriously, Impressive. Moreover, this prevented the non-idiotic members of the militia from hurting itenough to kill it in time. However, I do have to say that you guys did practce alot doing so, and one of you actually became a actual regular military member while doing so.

To the hammerdwarf lying in the hospital, I'd like to congratulate you for being the only injured dwarf, the one who also was the only one who got bitten. Thank you, Yopu're reward is Euthanization via Goblin thief arena.

Finally, I'd like to thank all of you for failing to even kill it when it transformed into a Reptile woman, who did not even get hit as she ran off. This is, of course, largely the recruits fault, but Its your fault to. Stop sucking.

[Tamber]

Dear Kobolds;

Please stop coming to steal our shinies; while we have more of them than I know what to do with, and can spare them; it is not exactly a trade agreement, and our military responds quickly. An ☼iron mace☼ is detrimental to your health, and I'm a soft-hearted basta overlord when it comes to you adorable gits. Perhaps consider joining us; then you get to play with the shinies without getting beaten about the head for it.

(We have kobolds here already, but the more the merrier! Seriously, consider it: We have a pretty decent dining hall, nest-boxes, plenty of shiny things, plenty of good food and it's warm in here! Enclosed is a brochure from our Tourism/Immigration department.)

We'd be more than happy to trade with you; if you'd come and ask! Or, at the very least, please stop sending your thieves to meet the heavy end of a mace.

Yours Exasperatedly,
Tamber
Overs'r, Metropolis of Susnûul.

P.S. We have one of your swordsmen chained up in our dining hall; let me know, by return note-wrapped-around-arrow, whether you want to come collect him; we'll have lunch ready!

(It would be quite nice if captured prisoners could, over time, become citizens of the fortress. Then all those chained up goblins and the kobold in the dining hall could join the faux-goblins and faux-kobolds of my Lutin civilisation! And then they could live happily ever after. ...until the next time I buy them all tickets to the circus.)

[omg_scout]

Dear Kobolds;

... nest-boxes....

Yours Exasperatedly,
Tamber
Overs'r, Metropolis of Susnûul.

Wait... do kobold lay eggs? o_O

 

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear Kobolds;

... nest-boxes....

Yours Exasperatedly,
Tamber
Overs'r, Metropolis of Susnûul.

Wait... do kobold lay eggs? o_O

 

Yup. Once, there was a bug that female kobold thieves would pause to lay eggs when they came to steal your shinies.

[omg_scout]

Srsly... I play df since 2d, lurk the boards and have read whole magmawiki, and this game still keeps surprising me.

[Tamber]

Wait... do kobold lay eggs? o_O

Yup; leathery ones, if I'm reading the raws correctly.

[...] this game still keeps surprising me.

Such is the wonder of the amazing depth of this game; there's always something new to discover. ...and then, if this board's history is anything to go by, weaponise. (Although it's beyond me how I could weaponise Kobold eggs. I'm sure someone would think of something, though.)

[Mr Space Cat]

Dear Urist Mcbroker,

You had no job, and a choice between either going to collect sand, or trade with the dwarf caravan.

...Did you seriously decide to perform the brain numbing task of collecting sand instead of trade? Quit mucking around and get your bum to the depot, you idiot.

Not sincerely, Space McVoicefromSpace

[BumbleMead]

Dear Urist McFormer Mayor,
Whyfore did you drop dead in the middle of negotiating the trade agreement? You had your own booze and food stockpiles in the next room, and ridiculous amounts of food along with every kind of booze just two levels down! You've never had any problem with wandering away mid-meeting before! You better not have screwed up my chance at getting a barony.

-Your baffled overseer.

Dear Urist McBeekeeper,
Hurry up splitting those hives, I want to get the next batch of harvestable hives moving. At your current rate of permanently being on break we'll run out of mead, which is unacceptable. It will make the booze stocks irritatingly incomplete and will result in you being assigned to the silk farm. As bait.

-Sincerely, the (slightly) twitchy overseer

[gbrngfol]

Such is the wonder of the amazing depth of this game; there's always something new to discover. ...and then, if this board's history is anything to go by, weaponise. (Although it's beyond me how I could weaponise Kobold eggs. I'm sure someone would think of something, though.)

Simple you mod them to be equipable by the military.