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[Panando]

Dear Urist, when your sleeping mud-pile gets flooded with 7/7 water, please wake up, otherwise you end up *ahem* sleeping with the fishes. Perhaps also choose a wiser place to sleep. I can't always be scheduling barely-planned releases of torrents of water around your eccentric sleeping habits.

Your benevolent Overlord.

[da_nang]

Dear Urist McManager,

Please get the fuck off your fat arse and put in those work orders I ordered months ago.

Yours sincerely,

Your Overseer.

[bigjaredmonkey]

dear fortress of splatbatterred,

when you are partying, don't have the entire fortress of dorfs in the party, i really need that door done. have fun with the king of beasts.

-the invisible force behind your every survival-important action that you never do.

P.S. also, dont stand there starving yourselves. i have 50 horse steaks right next to you.

[sal880612m]

Dear Urist McMiner,

I really meant that tile to be channeled from the safety of another tile that needed to be dug out, but in your impatience you entered that space from above and channeled underneath yourself. I trully hope you enjoyed your final 'bath' and since I do not want to see you again I will drain the system recover your body entomb it and just for good measure I will add a memorial slab as well. I really don't want you coming back. I am quite thankful that it was you that died as opposed to one of the other six members of the fort.

-Overseer

[ImagoDeo]

Dear Urist McMason,

Next time I tell you to deconstruct some stairs, kindly ensure that no other dwarves are standing on them when you do so. Especially not our only carpenter or our militia commander. A 15-z fall is not good for the digestive system, and I'm not talking about only yours.

Sincerely,
Overser of a Recently Abandoned Fort

[KingBacon]

Dear Urist,

How and where did you die? I really hope you didn't fall into the magma.

-Overseer

[pisskop]

Dear Urist,

How and where did you die? I really hope you didn't fall into the magma.

-Overseer

Dear -Overseer;

The question presented before us should be not 'where' or 'how', but rather why.  What is the purpose of one dwarf's existence when faced with the multitudes of implosions and recreations of the worlds, the blood of a dwarf when weighed  against the lifeforce of whole populations, the powers of a god when forced into the subservience of a creators whims.

We worship gods because they can curse us with the profane.  We worship the anvil because it is the symbol of industry; of enigmas and of the Spark.  We worship the ground because it holds the hidden fertility.  Under the fertility we find the mysteries and the horrors.

But what are they?  What is a brute to a theologian?  Who can deny that our knowledge is but the organization of the ignorant?  Why are we being?  Why?

 -Urist

[klefenz]

Dea Urist McLegenaryWeaponSmith: why did you go out during a siege? The civilian alert kept everyon else inside, but you insisted on going there. Tell me, who is going to forge the candy into instruments of war now? Catten McDabbling?

[Iamblichos]

Dear MetaGod of Dwarves:

I thank you for the regular migrant waves.  I do.  I just wish that you would send me dwarves with anything approaching a useful skill.

Some of your jokes are funny - I like a Legendary +2 Cheesemaker as much as the next overseer.  Sending me carpenters in no-wood biomes, potters in no-clay biomes, woodcarvers, bone carvers, and glazers - it's a real chuckle.  I get it.

This latest round of migrants with no skills at all, though... now, the gloves are off.  I am no longer amused.

- A pissed overlord

[Panando]

Dea Urist McLegenaryWeaponSmith: why did you go out during a siege? The civilian alert kept everyon else inside, but you insisted on going there. Tell me, who is going to forge the candy into instruments of war now? Catten McDabbling?

Mah'Dear Overlord,

Truth be told ah just couldn't stand all the death and dying ah was responsible for by making all those orrible orrible weapons, so ah went outside to end it all.
JUST KIDDING!
My sock sense was tingling! Socks! Troll fur socks! Ya' know the best troll fur comes from around the troll's scr—actually ah can tell ya' don't want to hear, so lets not go there. If ya' don't want the socks to be all covered in blood 'n gore ya' have to wrestle 'em off the goblin before the goblin's been all chopped up and ah should know how much a mess mah finest work can make. So there ah was, off to wrestle some socks from a goblin, and WHAA, out of nowhere, ah was dead. Ah was as surprised as ya' ah tell ya'.
Ya' loyal servant even in death (Ah think ah'll possess catten when he's half trained up, ho ho ha),
Urist McLegendaryWeaponSmith

[bigjaredmonkey]

dear urist McElf:

F**K off, i dont care about your tree limit, and enjoy lava.

and a bronze collossus if you somehow survive.

-dwarves of releasedlabor

[Tolis Kadestozi]

Dear Urist McSuicidal.

Uhem.. I really wish you wouldn't try to scramble into the trap lined hallway that is intended for the goblins who are still not dead yet, just for his fresh sock. 

Thank you for not listening to the burrow order.  Sincerely, The Overseer

[Agent_Irons]

Dear Urist McSuicidal.

Uhem.. I really wish you wouldn't try to scramble into the trap lined hallway that is intended for the goblins who are still not dead yet, just for his fresh sock. 

Thank you for not listening to the burrow order.  Sincerely, The Overseer

I'm so grateful I discovered forbid death items.

[Ianflow]

dear fortress of splatbatterred,
when you are partying, don't have the entire fortress of dorfs in the party, i really need that door done. have fun with the king of beasts.
-the invisible force behind your every survival-important action that you never do.
P.S. also, dont stand there starving yourselves. i have 50 horse steaks right next to you.

Dear Invisible Force,
But it is tradition to party at tables in Places designated for Meeting. On a side note, do you really think that the King of Beasts is courteous enough to knock first on a door? Door or not, he will likely kill us all anyhow.
Oh, and those Horse Steaks, aren't they in a Barrel designated to be moved for a job so that something can be placed in them?
-Fortress of Splatbattered

(Those are two things that may be important)

Dear Urist, when your sleeping mud-pile gets flooded with 7/7 water, please wake up, otherwise you end up *ahem* sleeping with the fishes. Perhaps also choose a wiser place to sleep. I can't always be scheduling barely-planned releases of torrents of water around your eccentric sleeping habits.
Your benevolent Overlord.

Dear Benevolent Overlord,
Dwarves like myself often get so tired from working that we sleep wherever available, such as on the floor, especially if the pathing to a bed is blocked. I'm not psychic, so I didn't know about the water. We are sometimes dumb as, or more dumb than Norns, so the phrase "eem exemely tired" applies.
With Magma, Urist

[Kreydurst]

Dear URST MC fucking ruined my fort.

How the hell (More like who) gave you the order to pull that lever on repeat that lead to the atomsmashing of 90% of my fort while I went away to do an errand.