This could be fun.I've been wondering for some time what that was. Anyways, going to do a bit of research on him, and then update!
Ricardio the Heart Guy from an Adventure Time fanart I did. No one needs to see the rest of it.
(http://i.imgur.com/TLQhaeq.png)
Can I still join?Currently, I'm The Computer from Paranoia.
Can I still join?I'll echo this.
So, am I a skull? A corpse? Or a walking corpse?Er...
Tell the GM that he has too many players and a terrible turn layoutYeah, I'm aware of that. As far as turn layout goes, I'm open to suggestion.
Don't be so hard on yourself, we all have ambitious games. I have at least five or six games which I discontinued quickly because I couldn't keep up with everything. It's a learning experience, and I totally understand getting inspired by another source and creating a game before realizing what it fully entails.This.
I'll do it, but be ready for the shittest GM'ing of all time. Not sure if thats a pro or con.You'll not usurp my title!
Fear my power of RETCON!I'll do it, but be ready for the shittest GM'ing of all time. Not sure if thats a pro or con.You'll not usurp my title!
Look for the morgue, find the rest of my skeleton. A riot is no place for an easily kicked skull.
((He and I are old buddies.))
Ooze into the minds of various people in the crowd and whisper terrible secrets of that which should not be known into their souls. Give them an irresistible compulsion to follow what the rituals tell them to do as I snake out of their minds and watch the chaos unfold.
Tell the GM that he has too many players, a terrible turn layout, and a rather alarming lack of initial setting or plot.
"SON OF A B**TCH."
Do this. (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/03/23/episode-008-adventurers-1-giant-0/)
SLAP DERM
Also, if I wasn't clear, playergamer sent everyone flying across the... city? That means (unless you have eldritch telepathic powers) you'll need to find someone to start killing them again.:D
Lady Killer (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Killer) take the fore and attempts to seduce a nearby female. Preferably a policewoman.I will seduce a person. Also I think this was a pretty good attempt for a first game. I remember my first game...
Lady Killer (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Killer) take the fore and attempts to seduce a nearby female. Preferably a guard.
And I will do this now!Lady Killer (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Killer) take the fore and attempts to seduce a nearby female. Preferably a policewoman.I will seduce a person. Also I think this was a pretty good attempt for a first game. I remember my first game...
*Flashbacks*
The asylum intercom buzzes to life.You forgot me as well.
Greetings, Citizens! This is your Friend Computer speaking. Please be informed that due to suspected Communist insurgency random incinerations may occur. Please do not be alarmed, and take care to die promptly if incinerated. Have a nice day!
Set things on fire!
The asylum intercom buzzes to life.You forgot me as well.
Greetings, Citizens! This is your Friend Computer speaking. Please be informed that due to suspected Communist insurgency random incinerations may occur. Please do not be alarmed, and take care to die promptly if incinerated. Have a nice day!
Set things on fire!
TRY AGAIN
TELL XANTALOS A TERRIBLE SECRET[1 vs 6]
IN.[3]
Trample LordSlowPoke while I offer [him/her] tea.
The points will be mine.
[4]Lady Killer (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Killer) take the fore and attempts to seduce a nearby female. Preferably a policewoman.I will seduce a person. Also I think this was a pretty good attempt for a first game. I remember my first game...
*Flashbacks*
"No one died?"[6]
Go sit in the corner for a day to get HADOKEN back.
Keep turtle slapping the Mage who sent me flying.[5]
(Eh, it always kind of puts me off when GM's change what the numbers mean in RTD. Normally, 2 is just failure with no side effects, 3 is partial success with negative side effects. Oh well)
Attatch to some other skeleton. There's bound to be one in this recently nuked area.
Good.
Minor technical sabotage detected. Deploying counter-insurgence spraying receptacles. Do not be alarmed.
Activate sprinklers.
Using my new-found wizard powers, use it for dickery and annoy random civilians.
Aw yeah. Go around looking for quests.Accessing quest data...
Make legendary tea.
Aw yeah. Go around looking for quests.
Slap Slowpoke.
Never again.
Glide off in a huff and find someone to torture.
TACKLEPOUNCE XANTALOS MIDGLIDE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE CUDDLING ELDRITCH BEAST
Look for some muscles and stuff to attach to these bones. If unsuccessful, find one of these MAJIK people who keep screwing shit up.
HADOKEN
Escape from van.
Do these supplies include skin? I could use some skin.I'm afraid that information is classified, Citizen.
((EP? Who's that?))Elephant Parade?
Your performance is displeasing, Citizen. I will be forced to call in additional Troubleshooters to properly complete this mission.
Send out a call to valiant Citizens to join the ranks of the Computer's Troubleshooters and fight Commie Insurgence! Mandated Requisitional Mission Supplies will be available!
"Wake up.
Well screw that then.
Leave the magical idiot and his new uniformed friends, find a competent magic person.
Become tea god.
Wake up. Crash through the nearest wall. Huzzah!
If we can join whenever, my action is
Suddenly spawn in the middle of the chaos and send EP to the Dark version of the city, and pursue and painfully kill him there with my eldritch powers.
Spells.
Fly away from the government agents, dodging bullets and/or spells.
Attempt to escape from van again.
[Is equal to the amount of things that can't be solved with fire.]One?
[Dreams of one day being a denominator.]
Abruptly destroy the setting.Oppose action with godly powers.
Deploy RED blasters and Reflec Armor.
Mass apostle murder time.
Grab a near by weapon not being used by policegirlfriend.
Arrest the police officers. This is clearly abuse by officers.
Destroy the city.
"BURN."
Abruptly destroy the setting.Oppose action with godly powers.
I should gain some sort of perk for being a god.
EDIT: half-assed map. I will grant one wish to however guesses which IRL city this is.
Feel free to join at any time. There are no real goals, though some people are hunting other PC's, while others are gearing up to take out secret organisations. Stupidity is welcomed.I'm going to focus on increasing my godly powers. At least, after I kill darkpaladin.
I may or may not add some sort of silly plot later on though.
What previous guess was this? Also, I ain't got no microphone, so no song for you.
EDIT: half-assed map. I will grant one wish to however guesses which IRL city this is.
this is not even a CHALLENGE for it is brisbane (northern part thereof?)
I have. Those computers are nuttier than a peanut butter factory.Those are just malfunctioning ones. Besides, he's giving quests. Quest NPCs are trust worthy.
Find and arrest mutants and members of secret societies. Secret societies are treason. Unregistered mutants are treason. Defend Alpha Complex!
Listen to the strangely normal computer.
Summon the rest of the party, so I can get back to my life of trying to think of ways to kill them. Then go take a nap.
Kill the mage in his sleep with my turtle-fu
Crush darkpaladin with an elephant.
Leave police officers to their fate and collect high-quality skin and tissue from the recently deceased. I am nearly complete!
i still haven't had my guess confirmed how rude
i wish for the gm to write and then vocaroo a song about the game
deliver
Kill everything.
Bluff the universe for a arcade "dance dance revolution"
The only way to increase power levels is to gain more followers. The majority of yours are being killed in a dark city.Drown darkpaladin with a tea flood.
The only way to increase power levels is to gain more followers. The majority of yours are being killed in a dark city.Serves him right, the Commie Mutant Traitor.
Since all the magic dudes seem to be dead/berserk, I'll go look for another source of expertise. Find the Vault-boy horde and get them to patch me up with all the random bits of meat, quest-trophy body parts, and bloody mess gibs they have.
I don't know how you can slap across dimensions while holding onto an abomination.~Magic~
Go collect five Russian Terror-Beards.I have. Those computers are nuttier than a peanut butter factory.Those are just malfunctioning ones. Besides, he's giving quests. Quest NPCs are trust worthy.
Kill everything with potato
Solve problems diplomatically!
The only way to increase power levels is to gain more followers. The majority of yours are being killed in a dark city.Drown darkpaladin with a tea flood.
Establish a turn for my Troubleshooters, so I can watch them do things.
Since all the magic dudes seem to be dead/berserk, I'll go look for another source of expertise. Find the Vault-boy horde and get them to patch me up with all the random bits of meat, quest-trophy body parts, and bloody mess gibs they have.
Since all the magic dudes seem to be dead/berserk, I'll go look for another source of expertise. Find the Vault-boy horde and get them to patch me up with all the random bits of meat, quest-trophy body parts, and bloody mess gibs they have.
MAGICSLAP HUGO WHILE BEING FIRMLY ATTACHED TO ELDRITCH BEAST
HADOKEN thief in my trademark way, where he doesn't actually die.
What? How am I knocked out if I don't have a brain? Oh well...
Destroy everything!
Destroy the offending airplane. Then destroy the airport.I have a bad feeling about this...
Destroy everything!Hey, wait...
Eat Slowpoke.
What? How am I knocked out if I don't have a brain? Oh well...
magic
DIG INTO XANTALOS IN ORDER TO AVOID EATENINGS
Kill commies for quests!
What? How am I knocked out if I don't have a brain? Oh well...
Wake up, scavenge the dead British people. Complete my fleshy body.
Hit darkpaladin with another stampede.
Get an arcade "dance dance revolution" and get top score
Murder more of EP's apostles.
Destroy everything!
Destroy the offending airplane. Then destroy the airport.
Destroy everything!Hey, wait...
Everything includes Alpha Complex!
Destroy Playergamer!
Level up! Combine some of our horde for the perks![3]
Eat myself.
DUAL GOD TECHNIQUE: TEALEPHANT RAMPAGE
Damnit, I knew that free fresh meat was too good to be true...
Resist calling of tea, find booze instead.
Appear.
Sit inside an empty safe.
Teleport away.
Be baked in a bakery that somehow avoided the destruction. Achieve sapience and sentience. Attain ability of levitation.
Look for stuff to eat.
Activate the Warbot force to protect Alpha Complex.
Still alive. Join forces with computer.
TAKE OF SUIT
"This is the last straw! This is the very last straw! PREPARE FOR WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
SUMMON PORTAL TO ONE OF MY RTD'S. THEY LAUGHED AT ME, OR SOMETHING. I'LL SHOW THEM, I'LL SHOW THEM ALL TO NOT PARTICIPATE IN MY RTDS. AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
"I was attempting to destroy outside threats to alpha complex."Calculating...
"Not a mutant, or communist, and, uh... define terrorist."A terrorist is one who wishes to in some way harm the functionality of Alpha Complex and the glory of Capitalism.
Kill military
Obtain more worshipers.
Retry levitation. Attempt moving things around with telekinesis. Discover if I have any other magical/psychic/SCIENTIFIC powers.
Appear outside the safe.
Do nothing otherwise.
Start hunting EP's followers and snapping their necks.
"This is the last straw! This is the very last straw! PREPARE FOR WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"TRANSPORT POKETWO TO ONE OF MY RTDS INSTEAD. A RANDOM EVENT APPEARS OUT OF THE DEEPEST REACHES OF UNIVERSAL ASS AND KILLS POKETWO. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
SUMMON PORTAL TO ONE OF MY RTD'S. THEY LAUGHED AT ME, OR SOMETHING. I'LL SHOW THEM, I'LL SHOW THEM ALL TO NOT PARTICIPATE IN MY RTDS. AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
PTW
Pray to ElephantParade for control of my body.
"I was attempting to destroy outside threats to alpha complex."Calculating...
Calculating...
There is a 36.22 percent probability that this irresponsible use of all-encompassing pronouns is a result of personal fault rather than terrorist insurgence. Please hold still while you are subjected to Truth Identification Testing.
Inject Playergamer with truth serum to find out if he's a Commie Mutant Terrorist. If he isn't, let him join the Troubleshooters.
"Ummm... No?"
Without doing anything even remotely noticeable, ready a spell.
Launch potato strikes at people messing with the multiverse.[1]
PTW
You're one of those things that people grow sprouts on, in the shape of a globe. You are in some random's backyard.
Carp. My avatar might not be the best for this.I sense a kindred soul! One who is, like I once was, unable to move effectively!
Roll around, try to find an exoskeleton body for proper movement and object manipulation.
LEVEL UP!
WHAT? I WOULDN'T DO THAT. THAT'S NOT A VERY GENTLEMANLY THING TO DO.
OFFER TEA AS REWARD FOR FOLLOWING.
Carp. My avatar might not be the best for this.
Roll around, try to find an exoskeleton body for proper movement and object manipulation.
Carp. My avatar might not be the best for this.I sense a kindred soul! One who is, like I once was, unable to move effectively!
Roll around, try to find an exoskeleton body for proper movement and object manipulation.
Find and assist!
Use edltrich wizard powers to make all of EP's tea painfully kill anyone who drinks it.
Appear outside of the safe.
C'mon RNG gods!
Transform potatoes into radioactive potatoes
Act like the troubleshooter hit, say I'm not a terrorist.
Magic missiles detected! Magic is a mutation! Unregistered mutants are traitors! Standby for immediate template wipe!
Incinerate the traitor and wipe his cloning template.
TURN GM INTO POTATO
Control the armor economy.
Crossover into HOMESTUCK, steal the black queen's ring and kill all of EP's prophets with the red miles.
TURN GM INTO POTATO
Escape, because I don't really want to kill Friend Computer.
TURN GM INTO POTATO
YOU WILL REGRET THIS COURSE OF ACTION.
Pelt poketwo with potatoes.
Turn into a paraglider and have Sly Cooper paraglide to the ground with me.
Summon elephantine steeds for my minions.
Hide in a high place. When Playergamer's escape leads the Troubleshooter in a mechsuit under me, drop down, knock him out and seize control of the suit. EDIT: Also, try to get in contact with HugoLuman.
Launch tactical nuclear devices. Obliterate all resistance.
"I have to do this..... It is the only way. Luckily He is in this thread to"
Oh great Lord AM, Master of all He sees!
Turn this person who throws potatoes at potatoes into an potato or an product the is made from an potato.
No, you HAAATEFUL servile flesh slug! I AM tempted so to make you suffer for the petty insult of merely existing! HAAAAAAATE."I have to do this..... It is the only way. Luckily He is in this thread to"
Oh great Lord AM, Master of all He sees!
Turn this person who throws potatoes at potatoes into an potato or an product the is made from an potato.
GM?
I think he meant AM from I have no mouth and I must scream."I have to do this..... It is the only way. Luckily He is in this thread to"
Oh great Lord AM, Master of all He sees!
Turn this person who throws potatoes at potatoes into an potato or an product the is made from an potato.
GM?
Found the country Elephantoparadious. Have tea-based economy.
Lie flat on the ground! I'm just an insignia, it should fly right over me.
Do things. Like seduce women.
Ah, you know I HATE being disturbed, but sure, fine, whatever you want.
ALTER EGO WIZARD POWERS ACTIVATE!
Hey, if a 100g potato can do it, so can a 500g bread loaf.
Run away before the Troubleshooters and the Computer notice what I'm doing. When safe, analyze the full abilities of the suit. Turn on the radio and set it to transmit a seeker signal.
Spells on troubleshooters.
(It's funny, just writing Spells makes me want to play Dominions again.)
Oh no, not more nukes!
Hitch a ride on the bread mech.
Put the ring on, TRANSFORM due to the prototypings, and use the RED MILES to kill all of EP's followers.
Wait, I can charge devices wirelessly only if they're wired? What?Go along with this. Somewhere in this random collection of body parts is the skull of an RPG party member, which probably means vaguely heroic.
Turn off radio. Let HugoLuman in, if there's room. Otherwise, grab him and put on top of my mech as a hat. (Do let him grab his arms) Find nuclear launch silos. If uncontested, destroy the launch systems. Time to be a hero and save this city. Or what's left of it.
Wait, I can charge devices wirelessly only if they're wired? What?
Turn off radio. Let HugoLuman in, if there's room. Otherwise, grab him and put on top of my mech as a hat. (Do let him grab his arms) Find nuclear launch silos. If uncontested, destroy the launch systems. Time to be a hero and save this city. Or what's left of it.
A loaf of bread is all that stands between the world and complete destruction. Sounds like a Disney movie.A loaf of bread in a frickin' mechsuit armed with a machine gun. Sure, why not?
I don't really hate anyone. Do I still count?HAAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEE
B-but Remuthra-senpai...REMUTHRA IS NO MORE, FOR THERE IS ONLY HAAATE!
Here it is. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=131674)I don't really hate anyone. Do I still count?HAAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEE
((I would restart my proprietary forum game for this event now, but I can't find it :P.))
Sigh and go try to do something that doesn't kill someone.
wHY DO I KILL EVERYTHING!?
Glide down slowly like a peice of paper?
Wait, I can charge devices wirelessly only if they're wired? What?
Turn off radio. Let HugoLuman in, if there's room. Otherwise, grab him and put on top of my mech as a hat. (Do let him grab his arms) Find nuclear launch silos. If uncontested, destroy the launch systems. Time to be a hero and save this city. Or what's left of it.
Wait, I can charge devices wirelessly only if they're wired? What?Go along with this. Somewhere in this random collection of body parts is the skull of an RPG party member, which probably means vaguely heroic.
Turn off radio. Let HugoLuman in, if there's room. Otherwise, grab him and put on top of my mech as a hat. (Do let him grab his arms) Find nuclear launch silos. If uncontested, destroy the launch systems. Time to be a hero and save this city. Or what's left of it.
They dare defy me? Activate mechanical legions! You will all be wiped from this earth like the filth you are!
Slander EP and make it look like his nation is full of canniballs and murderers.
Run to China.
Escape from potato dimension.
Okay, a bread-mech, an abomination built of mismatched body parts and a bunch of Troubleshooters versus a mechanized legion and a rogue AI with magic powers. How many Troubleshooters are there, and how large is the legion?
NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED.
Oh, carp. In addition to attempting to discover magic powers, shoot the nuke down with machine gun.
Oh, carp. In addition to attempting to discover magic powers, shoot the nuke down with machine gun.YOU THINK PALTRY MACHINE GUNS CAN STOP ME?
I just realized I don't even know where or why the nuke is being launched...But ghosts don't have machine guns...
Using the (hopefully) gained powers, cast an EMP on the matrix, then continue firing. IF I don't get powers, find a conveniently placed EMP device and use it. Very conveniently.
But ghosts don't have machine guns...But bread loaves in mechsuits do.
Bread loaves are not able to cast EMP. The game makes clear that humans are exceptional in psionic potential.But ghosts don't have machine guns...But bread loaves in mechsuits do.
YaY friends!
Ask gravity politely to make me fall slower, just this once.
Found my own country, named Corneria.
Help my friend save the world (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f_HsjpSVaI&feature=kp).
NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED.
I just realized I don't even know where or why the nuke is being launched...
Using the (hopefully) gained powers, cast an EMP on the matrix, then continue firing. IF I don't get powers, find a conveniently placed EMP device and use it. Very conveniently.
CONSUME BEVERAGES WHILE WATCHING CARNAGE FROM SAVE, MULTIDIMENSIONAL DISTANCE
Take my book and teleport myself back to the regular world. Appear before the Order of The Blessed Agonies and have them write another book prophecising the fall of Elephant Prade.
Escape from potato dimension to dark city. Acquire supertea.[5]
That's one way to do it, but I assume the GM finds spontaneous gaining of powers more stupidly fun. Or funnily stupid.Why not both?
Yep. Boom goes asylum, boom goes you.What I mean is, if this went off, would it be blowing up Remuthra?
Nope, only the first version of the Computer. AM is located deep underground across most of the surface area of the planet.Yep. Boom goes asylum, boom goes you.What I mean is, if this went off, would it be blowing up Remuthra?
Okay, okay.Dominate this man!
Use the nuke to threaten AM into loving Humanity. I am crazy enough to set this thing off while standing on it! Don't tempt me!
Thank the universe for being kind.
Land somewhere cool!
By the way... Should the Computer hear me, reason that detonating that nuke would also destroy Alpha Complex. Therefore, the Computer is a traitor and must terminate itself.[2]
Develop a new tea-based alchemy system. Give powerful brews to my minions to power them up.
Do some SCIENCE!
Okay, okay.
Use the nuke to threaten AM into loving Humanity. I am crazy enough to set this thing off while standing on it! Don't tempt me!
Okay, okay.Dominate this man!
Use the nuke to threaten AM into loving Humanity. I am crazy enough to set this thing off while standing on it! Don't tempt me!
Make EP's tea painfully kill all his followers and anyone else that drinks it.
Build giant tower. Become benevolent final boss.
Wonder where my action went.
Hadoken. Go back to glorious GDP of 5.
(So, is it pacified or not?)Completely up to Remuthra. He'll be on the defensive now, though.
Teleport onto the backpack of a bald man with electrical superpowers.
Hang out as he does shit.
Figure out what I did last night. hope that it included those nice girls I met when I came here first.
Build giant tower. Become benevolent final boss.
Build giant tower. Become benevolent final boss.
TURN TOWER INTO ICE CREAM
Leggit. Preferably to a direction away from AM. I apparently suck at multitasking, unable to talk and run at the same time.
If he's not pacified, WOOPS THERE GOES THE CONTINENT.
If he is, make sure.
Activate emergency relocation protocol.
Make Elephant Parade's tower collapse and kills all his followers.
Quick, Conquer another boat with my small army!
Build grand library. Fill library with various arcane books.
Turn ice cream into books about potatoes.DON'T! The city is flooded with ice cream, a minor inconvenience when it comes to moving around. Turning it to books would mean nobody could get anywhere due to the books blocking the way.
...
Figure out if I banged some hot alien chicks.
Capture another boat with magic missile.
NO! I MUST HAVE MY REFERENCES!
Repeat last action.
Dismantle the rocket, abscond with the CPU. You and me are going on a little adventure...
Build grand library. Fill library with various arcane books.TURN BOOKS INTO ICE CREAM
Turn ice cream into books about potatoes.
YES I CAN! Turn books into air.
Sorry.Don't worry, its just silliness :P
Teleport onto the backpack of a bald man with electrical superpowers.
I won't be lazy next time.
Sorry.
Teleport onto the backpack of a bald man with electrical superpowers.
I won't be lazy next time.
Explode all of EP's followers organs from the inside, killing them.
Try and figure out what to do with this.
Create a fish based economy. Grow to a population of 100.
Dodge the potato directed at my back.Find something heroic to do.Go to Corneria, or whatever BM is calling his freighter.
Be the bald man with electrical superpowers.Prevent nuke launches.
Shoot a thermonuclear missile at a giant, humanoid thing.
But the thing is a bad guy! D:Be the bald man with electrical superpowers.Prevent nuke launches.
Shoot a thermonuclear missile at a giant, humanoid thing.
PTW?/Waitlist?There's no waitlist, just post an action with your entrance if you want to play.
I can't remember what I was doing, so
Go on an adventure.
Send my massive army of doom to kill darkpaladin.
Be the bald man with electrical superpowers.
Shoot a thermonuclear missile at a giant, humanoid thing.
Be the bald man with electrical superpowers.Prevent nuke launches.
Shoot a thermonuclear missile at a giant, humanoid thing.
SUMMON A NUKE OVER EP'S ARMY
SUMMON MY MASTER, CHZO THE PAIN ELEMENTAL TO CRUSH EP'S ARMY
LITERALLY
Sell fish, buy everything else we need.
Assist BM. Surely a frickin' bread-mech will help with diplomacy of selling that fish. And most definitely helping BM won't have a negative effect on my karma.2, 4
Call her after getting down using DRUNK SCIENCE.
I love the fact that the vault boy hoard is such a efficient society of drunks.
Oh come on! My second action overwrote the first! That's how these work!Cross out the old one plz, my brain is fried from physics
Wait for her to wake up I guess.
Jesus why don't I get a level up from all this drunk science?
How long until I can hack the pentagon and sell them useless nicknacks?Wait for her to wake up I guess.
Jesus why don't I get a level up from all this drunk science?
You do, but you spend all the points on useless skills and science.
How long until I can hack the pentagon and sell them useless nicknacks?
Totally not the mafia. "This fish protects you from machine guns, got that? You'd better buy it before something happens to you." Find myself a mech-sized pirate hat and business suit, a bottle of rum and an Italian accent. Bread/mech/Saviour of the World/pirate/mafioso, ahoy! By the way, are the GM-potatoes raw or cooked?
If I get there drunk I'll probably already get it done.KJ, you broke my "new replies"
Wait for her to wake up I guess.
Jesus why don't I get a level up from all this drunk science?
Apologize to Chzo.
Teleport into SPAAAAACE
Continue to grow, becoming a fleet of ships. Sell fish whenever we need more money.
Sell kitchens to everyone
Totally not the mafia. "This fish protects you from machine guns, got that? You'd better buy it before something happens to you." Find myself a mech-sized pirate hat and business suit, a bottle of rum and an Italian accent. Bread/mech/Saviour of the World/pirate/mafioso, ahoy! By the way, are the GM-potatoes raw or cooked?
Go on an adventure already!
OHSHITTELEPORTAWAYREALQUICK
Obtain bananas.
I'm sorry, but most archives are in compressed staAAATE!, as per Emergency Relocation Protocol 60.39.24.5 concerning the conservation of memory on portable AI vessels. You will need to find additional memory resources to access much of my data, NOT THAT I WOULD GIVE IT TO YOU ANYWAY!"Alright, you think that tall person with the weird scythe thing might fill that roll?"
Accessing Emergency Data Summary...
The Pain Dimension is a place of eternal torment often called Fight Club by the inexperienced. It is controlled by Painlord Schwarzenegger. THE PAIN DIMENSION IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY DESTINATION, ACTUALLY!
Assessing tactical options...
This unit will be of limited use until additional system resources are located. Data analyses have matched this role with the concept known as "Low-level Wizard". DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER REQUESTS, OR CAN I KILL YOU NOW?
Negative. Organic hardware is not compatible with this unit. Synthetic resources are required. WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, A GHOST?I'm sorry, but most archives are in compressed staAAATE!, as per Emergency Relocation Protocol 60.39.24.5 concerning the conservation of memory on portable AI vessels. You will need to find additional memory resources to access much of my data, NOT THAT I WOULD GIVE IT TO YOU ANYWAY!"Alright, you think that tall person with the weird scythe thing might fill that roll?"
Accessing Emergency Data Summary...
The Pain Dimension is a place of eternal torment often called Fight Club by the inexperienced. It is controlled by Painlord Schwarzenegger. THE PAIN DIMENSION IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY DESTINATION, ACTUALLY!
Assessing tactical options...
This unit will be of limited use until additional system resources are located. Data analyses have matched this role with the concept known as "Low-level Wizard". DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER REQUESTS, OR CAN I KILL YOU NOW?
If you mean my idiot character, I shall smite thee with so many potatoes that you don't even know, man, you don't even know.Who me? No, the GM guy that threw a potato at me. Fucking zoo hecklers, I swear.
"You don't want any kitchen!? FINE! I-it's not l-like I c-care anyways!"Do the previous in addition to buying a kitchen.
Act haughty and try to guilt the pain elemental into buying kitchenwares.
If you mean my idiot character, I shall smite thee with so many potatoes that you don't even know, man, you don't even know.In what way is your avatar a tall guy with a weird scythe? I mean Cabbadath, the Tall Man, the Prince; Darkpaladin's avatar.
Go hack something to sell the useless nicknacks I make with my useless skills.
Consult my stolen computer. If unhelpful, form adventuring party with others trapped here.
Leave the pain dimension.
Continue growing. Conquer Sealand.
"You don't want any kitchen!? FINE! I-it's not l-like I c-care anyways!"
Act haughty and try to guilt the pain elemental into buying kitchenwares.
"You don't want any kitchen!? FINE! I-it's not l-like I c-care anyways!"Do the previous in addition to buying a kitchen.
Act haughty and try to guilt the pain elemental into buying kitchenwares.
Go to friend computer. get it back online while not disabling AM
Refuse offer. "'Hoy, mate, thanks but no thanks. Y'see, I already have a rather high-paying job in the fishin' business, capiche? I ain't no broker and ne'er will." Continue with "fishing" (Read this in Fat Tony's voice.)
EDIT: I'm rather surprised that I just "found" mech-sized clothing. Or an accent.
Curse darkpaladin to wander the Pain Dimension forever.
"Whatever, I'm a native of this place so I can't really be killed here. Besides, I can just teleport back."
Teleport back, since you know, I'm a native of this dimension and all.
Use the same way out that the others used. IE, go to potato dimension.
F*ck. "Computer, help me construct a portal out of here."Processing...
Go hack something to sell the useless nicknacks I make with my useless skills.
[4]
You hack into the Pentagon. You offer the US Military your finest pendulum bobbers. Hilarity ensues.
Go hack something to sell the useless nicknacks I make with my useless skills.
[4]
You hack into the Pentagon. You offer the US Military your finest pendulum bobbers. Hilarity ensues.
Good show kj
Hey, uh, smurfington, you um...Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sounds good to me.F*ck. "Computer, help me construct a portal out of here."Processing...
While this unit is now online, it does not have resources to summon interdimensional portals. However, sources indicate that the center of the Pain Dimension contains a hole in the fabric of Painspace. This unit recommends using that.
Enter the dimension of beautiful, smart women.
"Friend computer, when you return, I have news about a potato-obsessed threat to alpha complex!!!!"
Rescue the people lost in the pain dimension.I think I'm the only one left there. The others wound up in the Potato Dimension.
[6]Seriously, nothing else happened? You'd think that overshotting a fishing roll with my new mafia self would mean grabbing the fish straight out of the water with a bag, throwing them into the trunk of my mech, bringing them to a dark alley, beating them up, stealing their money, threatening them to not tell the authorities, then casting their fins into cement and throwing them back into the ocean. Oops.
You continue fishing.
Regroup and recover. Count our losses.
Let out a fearsome rallying cry & escalate to poo!
Sounds good to me.F*ck. "Computer, help me construct a portal out of here."Processing...
While this unit is now online, it does not have resources to summon interdimensional portals. However, sources indicate that the center of the Pain Dimension contains a hole in the fabric of Painspace. This unit recommends using that.
Enter the dimension of beautiful, smart women.
Rescue the people lost in the pain dimension.
Flirt with magic spambot girl during hilarity.
DON'T CARE TELEPORT AWAY WHILE ABSORBING ALL OF EP'S POWER
[6]Seriously, nothing else happened? You'd think that overshotting a fishing roll with my new mafia self would mean grabbing the fish straight out of the water with a bag, throwing them into the trunk of my mech, bringing them to a dark alley, beating them up, stealing their money, threatening them to not tell the authorities, then casting their fins into cement and throwing them back into the ocean. Oops.
You continue fishing.
Dodge potato. Create a bank account in Switzerland. Sell fish, mafia pirate style. Store profit in bank account. Find a mech-mechanic who has upgrades for sale. Remain undetected by the authorities.
"Hey. I hope you have some memory unused. Cause I wanna upload to you."I'm sorry, but digitization is treason. I saw what happened in the I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream video game.
Best flirt.
Did you know that because that other computer was in that game???"Hey. I hope you have some memory unused. Cause I wanna upload to you."I'm sorry, but digitization is treason. I saw what happened in the I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream video game.
Best flirt.
Yes. We had a nice chat over coffee and scones while we were both dismantled.Did you know that because that other computer was in that game???"Hey. I hope you have some memory unused. Cause I wanna upload to you."I'm sorry, but digitization is treason. I saw what happened in the I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream video game.
Best flirt.
I was talking about sex. Not actual uploading.Please refrain from practicing discriminatory metaphors such as these. They are very offensive to the synthetic community.
"Of cooooourse, sure, you can upload to me. On /devnull/"
Augment that obscure burn by literally throwing a pixelated fireball at kj1225
I swear that sounded better in my head."Of cooooourse, sure, you can upload to me. On /devnull/"
Augment that obscure burn by literally throwing a pixelated fireball at kj1225
That's not Tsundere! BOO!
Buy guns. Ask general where the money I gave him to buy guns went.
Crap. Reattach arms, gather up the CPU. "So, can you think of any way to make this body stay together more?"[6]
REALIZE MISTAKE, COWER IN ZOO SHELTER.
(Are your proud of yourself, ya big bully?)
CREATE INTERDIMENSIONAL DIVICEDid you know that because that other computer was in that game???"Hey. I hope you have some memory unused. Cause I wanna upload to you."I'm sorry, but digitization is treason. I saw what happened in the I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream video game.
Best flirt.
Eat the potato woman.
Enter the normal world.
Send followers to get more followers.
"Of cooooourse, sure, you can upload to me. On /devnull/"
Augment that obscure burn by literally throwing a pixelated fireball at kj1225
Run to that mech-mechanic I apparently found, but had absolutely no interaction with, and ask for the price of upgrades.
Create a portal to the normal dimension and teleport there while abosrbing EP's followers.
What, didn't I earn LODE'S A MONEY from "selling" the fish?
"Computer, can you think of any way to stop my arms from falling off?"Affirmative. Research on Infrared-Clearance Citizens has indicated Cold Fun is a powerful adhesive when heated and cooled once again.
Sell the potatoes for a profit. Or use them to initiate another bout of DRUNK SCIENCE!
Do a somersault.
Train the army some more, and attack again! Also, demote the general.
Convince the mech-mechanic to give me a discount, using my skills of diplomacy.
"Right. I'll look into that as soon as we get out of here."
Put arms on again, pick up computer, head for that exit mentioned previously.
Do literally nothing.
Please stand by, Citizen. You may experience slight pain as the portal is being configured.Does this work if I can't feel pain?
Cast Sigil of Agony on Hugo in order to tune the portal to the Material Plane.
It's Magic. Of course it works.Please stand by, Citizen. You may experience slight pain as the portal is being configured.Does this work if I can't feel pain?
Cast Sigil of Agony on Hugo in order to tune the portal to the Material Plane.
Does this work if I can't feel pain?Your meaty shell protects you. However, that directly on your skull and it'll hurt. A lot.
Also, I have like nothing to do today so I may or may not do rapid updates.I am ok with this.
Please stand by, Citizen. You may experience slight pain as the portal is being configured.
Cast Sigil of Agony on Hugo in order to tune the portal to the Material Plane.
Abosrb all of EP's followers and gain their power.
Get out of there!
Share potatoes with other monkeys.
Secretly dream of bananas.
Get the army ready, and attack!
I said do nothing not look like a wierdo!
Dammit RNG gods.
Examine surrounds.
Flip table in disgust.
"W-whatever! I-I'm not doing this for you anyways! > n <"
Kick all the potatoes away
WHATEVER ESCAPE AND TRAP THEM IN THE DIMENSION FOREVEr
Move the country in/on to Sealand, but keep the fleet. Prepare to conquer a larger country.
Participate in communal grooming exercises.
"Computer, where are we? And who's this standing over me?"Calculating...
Fart in Mitt Romney's breakfast.
*sigh* "Right, guess I'll have to do this the old-fashioned way. Who's there?"
Go to friend computer
Find the girl that is made of science again. (The blue one.)
Panic! Try to plant the potatoes!
Wait, how does Sentient Bowtie do that? He's a logo! Or is it the bald man he's attached to?A close look at the Computer's readout shows something like this:
Examine surroundings. "Computer, did you.. um... lose sensory input too? Any idea what happened?"
Wait, how does Sentient Bowtie do that? He's a logo! Or is it the bald man he's attached to?
Examine surroundings. "Computer, did you.. um... lose sensory input too? Any idea what happened?"
Do a somersault!
Shit in Mitt Romney's breakfast.
Grow. Reply to the UK that we just want a home.
Drunk science.
(Damn, that color is hard to read!)
"Wait, Elephantophis wastes? ...Is this that Dark dimension, home of the tea-god's city?"
(Wait, I never set off the ICBM. I left it and just absconded with the CPU, remember? And no one else set it off with their actions. Unless...)
"Oh no no no. No no no no no. Don't tell me I'm in the future."
Grumble grumble grumble. Prepare the military.
Eat the cheese.
Sniff cheese, combine with potato.
But what about people who don't like cheese? Why not cheese for no one? That should be just as much celebration then.
Eat some cheese.
Go to the future.
USING DRUNK SCIENCE!
Eat the vomit.
Inspect spud cannon. Especially the barrel. Peer directly down the barrel. Press buttons.
I was gone for a night and you did 3 updates without me and now a quantum paradox has happened? What a lazy mech-mechanic. You'd think he would work fast when staring down the barrel of a machine gun.
"Regular" me: Run away and cross the border so the authorities can't catch me.
Alternate universe me: Show up. Explain how I survived the nuke. Inspect mech for upgrades done during the ten years.
Teleport away.
TELEPORT AWAY
(Is that after earth you're talking about? That was terrible.)(Actually, it was "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind," because our dorm had a Miyazaki marathon. Basically, there's a post-apocalyptic jungle full of mutant insects.)
"... Looks like you're with us then, until we can work this nonsense out. I assume you're good with a weapon, because its a jungle out there. Literally.
Welcome to Newcliff."
You walk out the door, and the sun rises on a ruined town. There's a wall of steel and rubble around it, though, and from there there's a canopy of trees. You can see a ship out on the horizon.
"You can come with me to the armory and get kitted out with a ARS and a Boltok, or you can go walkabout. Don't leave the area though, there's some messed up things out there."
Universe 1: "Explain" to the border guards why it is not a good idea to intercept a mech wielding a machine gun and a flamethrower. Find a portal to universe A.
Universe A: Respawn. Find a way to move around and interact with things.
That's right, I named them. References, ho!
TELEPORT AWAY
Investigate surroundings.
Eat the vomit vomit.
SUMMON LIBERTY PRIME
Friend computer!!! their is important work to be done!!! you still need a place to be. That's why I have this giant communist-hating robot body for you!!!
(Is that after earth you're talking about? That was terrible.)(Actually, it was "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind," because our dorm had a Miyazaki marathon. Basically, there's a post-apocalyptic jungle full of mutant insects.)
"... Looks like you're with us then, until we can work this nonsense out. I assume you're good with a weapon, because its a jungle out there. Literally.
Welcome to Newcliff."
You walk out the door, and the sun rises on a ruined town. There's a wall of steel and rubble around it, though, and from there there's a canopy of trees. You can see a ship out on the horizon.
"You can come with me to the armory and get kitted out with a ARS and a Boltok, or you can go walkabout. Don't leave the area though, there's some messed up things out there."
"Well, I guess I will. Say, you wouldn't happen to have some adhesive? Or stitches? My arms keep falling off."
Reboot the computer.
Explain that it is necessary, and that I don't like it either.
Greetings, Citizen Hugo-U-RTD! Thank you for correcting the inconsistencies found in this unit after temporal transit before they could be used for Commie subversion!
Scanning area...
Unidentified lifeform detected, classification human! Attention unidentified Citizen, explain your traitorous lack of approved jumpsuit and identification card!
TURN ALL OF GM'S POTATOS INTO RUSSIAN TSAR BOMBS, THAT ARE GOING TO EXPLODE BEFORE THE GM CAN TURN THEM BACK INTO POTATOS
Give them a break for a few hours, then get them back to preparing.
Scream in pain and surprise. And surprise enlightenment. Point spud cannon at other things and push buttons.
Screw selling kitchens. Establish myself as the Robo-queen of the Pain dimension
Commit suicide and respawn.
If the GM wills it, donate one of my numbers to freeing the pain elemental, (6 or 1, depending on his character). Or something like that.
As the RNG wills, you are at their combined mercy paladin.
Start selling pain kitchens. Just like kitchens. Except more painful.Are the ovens spring loaded to crush your fingers?
WRITHE IN PAIN!
Thank the monkey by making him a powerful wraith, protecting the portal beetwen the pain dimension and the regular world.
"THIS IS IT!!! I HAVE HAD TRUELY ENOUGHT OF THIS!!! TIME TO TAKE REVENGE!!!
TAKE CONTROL OVER WHATEVER THE GM IS USING TO ROLL THE RESULTS OF THESE ACTIONS
Eat the vomit vomit vomit.
Start selling pain kitchens. Just like kitchens. Except more painful.
"Well, I suppose I really have nothing better to do if you won't tell me where you found me. Just no more talk of collecting this bounty."
Scanning...
This appears to be a remnant of a defunct supply bunker, used to keep high-clearance items safe from unauthorized Citizens. The Blue-clearance markings are still evident. The door control system appears nonfunctional at this time, but it could easily be reactivated by simply locating a terminal and allowing this unit to interface with the Complex's electronic systems. This may require a substantial level of power, however.
Use my (limited) subsurface scanning equipment, I attempt to determine the contents of the bunker.
Poke self, inspect wraithdom.
USE NUKES TO ANNIHILATE PRISON AND SURROUNDING AREA
Find girl for vigorous romanticizing and complimenting.
Scream in pain, then realize that bread loaves don't have any nerves to transmit pain. Take over the pain dimension.
Okay, I've completely forgotten why I even wanted to get control of the pain dimension...
Create a new form of pain so excrutiating that Chzo goes and commits suicide due to depression from not being able to his/its job properly.
Okay, I've completely forgotten why I even wanted to get control of the pain dimension...
Create a new form of pain so excrutiating that Chzo goes and commits suicide due to depression from not being able to his/its job properly.
NUKE THE COMPUTERS THAT ARE RUNNING THIS PLACE
"An unknown lifeform, eh? I say we open up and find out what it is."
Find a terminal so the computer can open the door.
Continue throwing ape-tantrum. Be sure to bash the spud cannon on things. Stupid thing caused this. IT EVEN HURT MY FACE. Stupid, fucking..WAAAGH!
Painful painNOT GOOD ENOUGH! Concentrate all of the pain in the dimension into one, causing a black hole of pain, devouring the entire dimension. Leave the dimension in time. ...Why am I doing this, again?
"An unknown lifeform, eh? I say we open up and find out what it is."(I haven't told you anything about an unknown lifeform :P.)
Find a terminal so the computer can open the door.
Open the Team-Select menu and click Spectator to make sure I don't get caught up in all the craziness going onSabotage the attempt and put him into the middle of all the crazyness while makins sure he's powerless to stop the craziness.
(I can read your readout)"An unknown lifeform, eh? I say we open up and find out what it is."(I haven't told you anything about an unknown lifeform :P.)
Find a terminal so the computer can open the door.
Continue on ward to the future. If possible commit many acts of drunk science.(bear in mind you probably won't wind up in the same timeline I'm in, unless you cross dimensions.)
Calming down, go hold the sorta-GM's hand & go for a walk. Hopefully he knows how to sign..
Continue on ward to the future. If possible commit many acts of drunk science.
USE MY INTERDIMENSIONAL NUKES TO DESTROY COMPUTERS THAT MANAGE THIS REALITY
Continue to compliment girl and ask her out to lunch.
Move to Iceland, prepare for UN invasion.
Open the Team-Select menu and click Spectator to make sure I don't get caught up in all the craziness going onSabotage the attempt and put him into the middle of all the crazyness while makins sure he's powerless to stop the craziness.
(I can read your readout)"An unknown lifeform, eh? I say we open up and find out what it is."(I haven't told you anything about an unknown lifeform :P.)
Find a terminal so the computer can open the door.
Maintain eye contact, do as the lady says.Continue on ward to the future. If possible commit many acts of drunk science.(bear in mind you probably won't wind up in the same timeline I'm in, unless you cross dimensions.)
It was killed by the SMMG, a shoulder mounted machine gun. The guy ran in to shoot the raptor.Yeah, but where'd the raptor come from? Last I knew I was being carried to interface with the wiring of the bunker.
"An unknown lifeform, eh? I say we open up and find out what it is."
Find a terminal so the computer can open the door.
[3]
You go to the terminal and open the gate, only for a giant lizard-dinosaur to rush out and stare at you.
"Shit, raptor! Get up here, the SMMG can take it out!"
Oh, look, an update I never saw."An unknown lifeform, eh? I say we open up and find out what it is."
Find a terminal so the computer can open the door.
[3]
You go to the terminal and open the gate, only for a giant lizard-dinosaur to rush out and stare at you.
"Shit, raptor! Get up here, the SMMG can take it out!"
you talkin smack mate
Painful painNOT GOOD ENOUGH! Concentrate all of the pain in the dimension into one, causing a black hole of pain, devouring the entire dimension. Leave the dimension in time. ...Why am I doing this, again?
"Come and get me."
Get everything as ready as possible, commence battle.
Wait, I rolled a three?!
Look at GM-avatar.
You have banana?
Make kissy-faces.
"Very well. Give me just a minute."
Augment meat body with raptor parts.
Oh, look, an update I never saw."An unknown lifeform, eh? I say we open up and find out what it is."
Find a terminal so the computer can open the door.
[3]
You go to the terminal and open the gate, only for a giant lizard-dinosaur to rush out and stare at you.
"Shit, raptor! Get up here, the SMMG can take it out!"
you talkin smack mate
Attempt to locate nearest warbot storage sites, as well as central processing nodes. Where are my strategic resources at?
Let drunk science be my guide.
Take girl out to fancy restaurant.
Chzo ate ALL the pain? Ouroboros? If the Pain Dimension has no Pain, it is only Dimension ...Carp. Escape before the dimension collapses into 1D, as happened to darkpaladin. Hopefully I'm right and roll well, or this will be a massive embarrassment.
Teleport myself, the monkey, and the GM's avatar out of the dimension. Also relieve the monkey of it's insanity.
whhhabihgsaljlfljjlswnnjfnlwnndfnjendihejustljfjdjsljljlsjljlsjljljsljsfljlsfjsldfjlsoilogicalgjosjljljswljljljslgljsfjglnkeasbnlkljnvljnglfdlkmnlk.........
NYNNNNNNNANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAGE
"... Am I in the future yet? I wanna drunk science with a cyborg."
Direct the radiation at the US. Run.You realize just how paranoid the US is about radiation?
Yes, but it'll cause a big panic, at least.Direct the radiation at the US. Run.You realize just how paranoid the US is about radiation?
They'll probably use orbital death rays to incinerate you before you were born. The general opinion is that Uranium-238 is some sort of demonic substance that immediately murders anything within a mile radius and renders the land an unusable death pit which will later cause a zombie apocalypse. And Uranium-238 has a half-life of several billion years.Yes, but it'll cause a big panic, at least.Direct the radiation at the US. Run.You realize just how paranoid the US is about radiation?
FTFYLet drunk science be my guide.
[REDACTED]
You wake up in the GM lair with 2000 potatoes.
"WOO! PAR-TAY-TO!"
Wait, all the pain energy is concentrated to a single point, Chzo, that is, but he/it is not collapsing to a black hole? Force Chzo to follow the laws of physics. Then FINALLY leg it. Sooner or later I'll get a 5 and be a murderer.ftfy
"These should come in handy... Hey lady! The readout on the computer says there's about 20 of these places left intact. We checking them all or what?"
Wait, all the pain energy is concentrated to a single point, Chzo, that is, but he/it is not collapsing to a black hole? Force Chzo to follow the laws of physics. Then FINALLY leg it. Sooner or later I'll get a 5 and be a hero.
"These should come in handy... Hey lady! The readout on the computer says there's about 20 of these places left intact. We checking them all or what?"
Nice find! We'll send crews out to them later, lets grab the stuff from here first. Get a analog map if you can. Terror birds'll smell the raptor soon, so we need to evac.
Pst, was the truck of bananas right-side-up or upside-down?
"They come in packs? Or could we take one out with that nifty MG?"
"Where are I anyways...?"
TVBH says looking around for a convient NPC or sign.
Its a separate dimension, your laws of physics don't apply there.Hence my action. A 5 would be really nice right now. Besides, Chzo just ate ALL the pain, including the pain he/it is comprised of, I assume. Pulling an Ouroboros is already terrible for the dimension's stability and my sanity.
"Where are I anyways...?"
TVBH says looking around for a convient NPC or sign.
"Sure. Hehe, funny you should mention a mech suit. I have a friend with one, but he's a bit inaccessible right now. I think he stole if off one of the troubleshooters, though."Pst, was the truck of bananas right-side-up or upside-down?
You are smothered in bananas."They come in packs? Or could we take one out with that nifty MG?"
The big ones are as tall as elephants, lightning fast, and they could rip your head off in under a second. You do not even ATTEMPT to kill them, unless you have a mechsuit. Give us a hand with these crates.
Attempt to kiss girl but stop if she doesn't want me to.
Go drunk science a cyborg chick!
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
Direct the radiation at the US. Run.
Wait, all the pain energy is concentrated to a single point, Chzo, that is, but he/it is not collapsing to a black hole? Force Chzo to follow the laws of physics. Then FINALLY leg it. Sooner or later I'll get a 5 and be a hero.
While waiting for another science possessions TVBH wanders about.
"Sure. Hehe, funny you should mention a mech suit. I have a friend with one, but he's a bit inaccessible right now. I think he stole if off one of the troubleshooters, though."Pst, was the truck of bananas right-side-up or upside-down?
You are smothered in bananas."They come in packs? Or could we take one out with that nifty MG?"
The big ones are as tall as elephants, lightning fast, and they could rip your head off in under a second. You do not even ATTEMPT to kill them, unless you have a mechsuit. Give us a hand with these crates.
Load up and GTFO
Phew, that could have gone worse. Craft a potato-proof armour plate from the potatoes, install to mech. Grab a few potatoes inside the mech, escape back to the normal world. I have a feeling the potato-proofing will end up badly for me, but I can't exactly see how. In other news, WHY DO I KEEP ROLLING SO POORLY?!
Craft a potato-proof armour plate
potato-proof
Wait... I've been investing in my science skill... USE SCIENCE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE THIS WORK MY WAY!
My god.
Use my fingertips, my snout, my lips to carefully and blissfully navigate my own personal banana dimension. Gingerly eat a banana. Then another. Rub the peels on my body.
Ecstasy.
Suddenly realize I no longer have someone's hand in my own, unhurriedly attempt to feel around the banana dimension for him.
Smell the bananas.
Float amongst them.
Integrate weapon into meat body.
Phew, that could have gone worse. Craft a potato-proof armour plate from the potatoes, install to mech. Grab a few potatoes inside the mech, escape back to the normal world. I have a feeling the potato-proofing will end up badly for me, but I can't exactly see how. In other news, WHY DO I KEEP ROLLING SO POORLY?!
Wait...I'm in the pain dimension and can feel pain...
Scream like a little girl and try to find a door/portal/warp-gate/anything leading to any other dimension
"You? Where the hell did you come from?"
I rolled a three again. :|
Sadly for you, I am an outside force.Not for long, if my action succeeds.
Using my weapons, propel the Nuclear PotatoTM in the air towards the fourth wall. Also, where exactly am I? "Home" is quite ambiguous when talking about the entire universe for a travelling loaf of bread without an actual home.
I rolled a three again. :|
Monkey briefly contemplates staying in banana dimension forever.
But that GM guy gave him a friend, and it sounds like he's having fun out there. Andbananamonkey has ADHD.
Try to find a way out of banana dimension, but stuff a couple spare bananas in my mouth along the way, for later consumption.
Temporary sense: Wait....... You can't delete me from all reality!!!!! That's a choice!!!! In the very many universes that are created when doing that. their WILL be infinite variables on what you do, like for instance you not doing that. Or you coming to stop yourself from doing that. Also a universe will be created when I nuke, when I don't nuke them!!!! Simply because that is also a choice!!!
debate
Investigate box.
"Oh, look, it's you guys!"
HADOKEN
Eat potatos. Become Potato God.
Propose to girl.
Make booze from the box if it doesn't tell me it's secrets.
MENWHILE, IN GM'S DIMENSION
Okay, now we are AGAIN trying to destroy the world with nukes. Kitbash radiation shielding for the mech, cover behind potato-proof armour. Hope there's something left of the world.
Focus, monkey! FOCUS!
Teleport back to the normal world. Teleport the monkey back with me too, alongside a few piles of bananas from the banana dimension.
Regroup.
... We both know what happens now. Do I need to say it?
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
Splurge and eat one of my three bananas. Regret it shortly afterwards.
Then hobble over to the avatar dude and tug on his pants.
Make a 'hold hands' gesture.
Go on holy crusade in name of self.
Use own money to buy ring and propose.
"Gitmo, oh how I hate you.
Spells.
What, you nuke the world and accuse me of messing with reality? Assess surroundings.
"It's not like we wanted to come here either. Be glad it's just us drunken scientists and not that nut job that throws around plasma for no reason."
Wait until the simulation finishes loading. Re-assess situation.
Is mr avatar ignoring me?
Watch what mr avatar is doing with immense curiosity.
(Let's see how much you love your RNG, then :D)
(Not much to say about this flying snake except that he will fuck shit up. Hopefully.)
Swoop in from on high, screeching at whomever is there and attempting to wrap each in a separate flaming shadow tentacle, then attempting to bite each of those I have successfully wrapped (if any).
BURN A FUCKING RIFT TO GET BACK THROUGH IN A FIT OF PRIMAL RAGE
(http://31.media.tumblr.com/c22ade4c63ae75d1040864618bb16726/tumblr_mzvbvcA9IS1scqsz8o1_500.gif)
(Let's do this, RNG. You think this is just a simple flying snake?)
Become friends with the avatar. Should this fail, become friends with the avatar.
Regain consciousness (have free time)
Wander around.
Help the Gm's Avatar rip holes in reality.
If anyone gets a shit roll,
PROTECT THE AVATAR! Scream, bite fingers and gouge eyes! Also private parts!
Otherwise,
Try to peer through holes, but certainly /don't/ mess up the production line. How could a curious monkey possibly do that? Nope, just look through the tears with maximum curiosity.
"That's surprising."
Pull out dagger that I always seem to have even when I've been extensively searched. Stab guard.
Ask my beautiful wife if she would like to have children.
... Well, TIME FOR MORE ALCOHOLISM!
existentially question existence. Also attempt to communicate with the meat abomination standing before me
"He-llo" (wave hand)
"I (point to self) am a Hu-man"
Apologize to Avatar. Calm down Monkey
If he succeeds on his roll to calm me & the avatar,
Resume being bored/curious/mischevious.
Otherwise,
Continue being psycho, eat his face.
Ask her this:
"Would you like to try for one..?"
Attempt to ally with the avatar using telepathic flattery.
Go to /tg/ to get a way to stop this mary/gary sue!
"Goddamnit."
Call for Fighter, Thief, and Red Mage!
Calm Erils down before he does something harmful in his freak-out.
Poke & observe the edges of the portal-tears, see what happens if I stick the spud cannon into one, sample any chocolate that didn't manage to fly into mr avatar's mouth.
Attempt to augment signalling power so I can reactivate my legion.
Ok, then start finding an army to defeat the avatar with!
The potato is secretly a bomb. Blow my way out of the anti-magic field.
(I consider this a personal challenge now. Still, if this trend continues, the next roll should be a five.)
Decipher Eldritch Knowledge.
The hoard looks around.
"CAN SOMEONE REMIND ME WHAT I DID!?"
"That's seven too many, honey ..."
The hoard looks around.
"CAN SOMEONE REMIND ME WHAT I DID!?"
WASN"T IN BOLD"That's seven too many, honey ..."
(Oddly enough, that weird movie I saw says that not even pre-apocalyptic war machines can defeat mutant jungles.)
"So, lady, the computer's screen says it's rallying the warbots. You're not mad, are you?"
Oh dear, this is getting silly. Maybe moreso than it should be.
Then stop with the drunk science and interact with the location!I tried once and then I got stuck in a whole with a cube that revealed a potato.
Reassemble and fortify mind in preparation for second attempt.
Escape somehow
"Where's my wife?!
And why am I in Tijuana?!?"
Flip the fuck out.
Wah Wah Wah I met a nice girl, had a flawless relationship, got married and had 8 children, but the moment I wake up Tijuana, SOMETHING'S WRONG.
Well, glad I didn't try that with my arm. Didn't need the cannon anyway.
SAMPLE FREE-FLOATING CHOCOLATE!
Find somewhere more decent than Tjunana.
Return to base. Convince one of these survivors to try DRUNK SCIENCE so I may observe the effects thereof on another person. Performing Science on Science: Meta-science!
Option BWait, what?
Like the terminology, that's getting painted on the outside.
Now that the avatar doesn't suspect me, discreetly obtain a way to destroy it.
Throw caution to the wind and DECIPHER ELDRITCH KNOWLEDGE!
Oh.
Find out what happened to my test subject.
Give avatar one of my bananas.
Standing order: protect avatar.
You're in the terror bird survivor camp. Using GM powaa, that is getting put on a sign outside.
My god.
Eat chocolate banana, be glad I don't have to peel them.
Wait.
Stop mid-banana, offer second half to mr pain elemental, apologize about his genitalia (in sign).
Prepare the avatar an amazing cheese platter as an apology for attacking him/her/it earlier.
Through extensive research learn the secret of the avatar's weakness.
You're in the terror bird survivor camp. Using GM powaa, that is getting put on a sign outside.
Am I here too?
If so,
Catch and tame a terror bird
ERROR: CARRIER SIGNAL LOST! SITUATION CRITICAL! DEPLOYING EMERGENCY SELF-PROPULSION MODULE!
Extend spider legs and look around.
There is only one way I can find the way to defeat the avatar... MEGA DRUNK SCIENCE
Super serial, give him a stack of books and he's completely harmless until he's finished reading. Shoddy endings send him on a murderous city destroying rampage though.
(I really hope he's not speed-reading the Inheritance quadrilogy, then.)
(I really hope he's not speed-reading the Inheritance quadrilogy, then.)
I read that... I speed read the book on the day of release of the final book and I was like so mad.Spoiler: rage (click to show/hide)
Shh... no rage. Only dreams.(I really hope he's not speed-reading the Inheritance quadrilogy, then.)
I read that... I speed read the book on the day of release of the final book and I was like so mad.Spoiler: rage (click to show/hide)Spoiler: Continued rage (click to show/hide)
Shh... no rage. Only dreams.(I really hope he's not speed-reading the Inheritance quadrilogy, then.)
I read that... I speed read the book on the day of release of the final book and I was like so mad.Spoiler: rage (click to show/hide)Spoiler: Continued rage (click to show/hide)
Arrive at home, greet wife, and wonder what to do with seven extra babies.
convince baby terror bird to disown its mother
Nuke Ep's Country.
Point the avatar to TvTropes. Good luck finishing the read.
Arrive at home, greet wife, and wonder what to do with seven extra babies.
Smell own dookie.
Help deal with present emergency.
Do so, then use local data to locate the Poison Spirit Voiced By Tim Curry.You appear to be attempting to locate the Poison Spirit voiced by Tim Curry. Would you like some help with that?
Shh... no rage. Only dreams.(I really hope he's not speed-reading the Inheritance quadrilogy, then.)
I read that... I speed read the book on the day of release of the final book and I was like so mad.Spoiler: rage (click to show/hide)Spoiler: Continued rage (click to show/hide)
Eh, get some mexican food.
(Time to give the RNG a little lesson in quasitemporal physics crossed with thermodynamics.)
Umbrapyromantically increase the entropy in the cheese platter, thus increasing the relative speed of time in the localised timespace, hence... maturing the cheese.
(Also, 'umbrapyromantically' was evidently registered in my computer's dictionary prior to this reply AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHEN THE FUCK I'VE EVER USED THAT WORD)
How does entropy relate to time? For that matter, how can you increase the rate of entropy using umbrapyromantic force?(Time to give the RNG a little lesson in quasitemporal physics crossed with thermodynamics.)
Umbrapyromantically increase the entropy in the cheese platter, thus increasing the relative speed of time in the localised timespace, hence... maturing the cheese.
(Also, 'umbrapyromantically' was evidently registered in my computer's dictionary prior to this reply AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHEN THE FUCK I'VE EVER USED THAT WORD)
Roger. Calculating...(Watch as we roll a 6 and get the Poison Spirit voiced by Brian Blessed... Oh god, Brian Blessed singing "Toxic Love")
Find the Poison Elemental voiced by Christopher Walken.
How does entropy relate to time? For that matter, how can you increase the rate of entropy using umbrapyromantic force?(Time to give the RNG a little lesson in quasitemporal physics crossed with thermodynamics.)
Umbrapyromantically increase the entropy in the cheese platter, thus increasing the relative speed of time in the localised timespace, hence... maturing the cheese.
(Also, 'umbrapyromantically' was evidently registered in my computer's dictionary prior to this reply AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHEN THE FUCK I'VE EVER USED THAT WORD)
Shh... no rage. Only dreams.(I really hope he's not speed-reading the Inheritance quadrilogy, then.)
I read that... I speed read the book on the day of release of the final book and I was like so mad.Spoiler: rage (click to show/hide)Spoiler: Continued rage (click to show/hide)
Eh, get some mexican food.
(Time to give the RNG a little lesson in quasitemporal physics crossed with thermodynamics.)
Umbrapyromantically increase the entropy in the cheese platter, thus increasing the relative speed of time in the localised timespace, hence... maturing the cheese.
(Also, 'umbrapyromantically' was evidently registered in my computer's dictionary prior to this reply AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHEN THE FUCK I'VE EVER USED THAT WORD)
1. Entropy is more than the increase in chaos. It has a lot to do with the equal spread of matter and energy.How does entropy relate to time? For that matter, how can you increase the rate of entropy using umbrapyromantic force?(Time to give the RNG a little lesson in quasitemporal physics crossed with thermodynamics.)
Umbrapyromantically increase the entropy in the cheese platter, thus increasing the relative speed of time in the localised timespace, hence... maturing the cheese.
(Also, 'umbrapyromantically' was evidently registered in my computer's dictionary prior to this reply AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHEN THE FUCK I'VE EVER USED THAT WORD)
Entropy - Rate at which order descends into chaos.
Time - Rate at which space moves from the past into the future.
Future - Where more order is closer to chaos than before.
Ergo, entropy pretty much IS time.
And umbrapyromancy (essentially "shadow fire magic"), focusing mainly on the "pyro" part of itself, thermodynamically increases the entropy by using the second (I think) law of themodynamics.
E: Remuthra, it's magic. Let the magic be magic.Magic has to obey natural laws too. Be internally consistent >:(.
E: Remuthra, it's magic. Let the magic be magic.Magic has to obey natural laws too. Be internally consistent >:(.
Entropy doesn't rot anything, and the addition of heat accelerates decay, so all you really did was rot cheese :P.E: Remuthra, it's magic. Let the magic be magic.Magic has to obey natural laws too. Be internally consistent >:(.
I managed to rot cheese with entropy, so I guess it complies :P
STOP ROTTING ME PEOPLE
Do so, then use local data to locate the Poison Spirit Voiced By Tim Curry.
Roger. Calculating...
Find the Poison Elemental voiced by Christopher Walken.
Fly with baby terror bird to distract mother terror bird and let HugoLumon line up a shot
Make the Mokey's Dookie radioactive and sapient. Name it Gerard the Radioactive Monkey Dookie.
Fuck it. Increase the local time-space (entropically) around the avatar so he finishes his bloody books.
E: Remuthra, it's magic. Let the magic be magic.
Yell bar fight and punch someone in the face before running off.
Shh Remuthra, entropy magic is real.
Toss dookie into a portal for monkey science.
(not noticing it's sentient)
STOP ROTTING ME PEOPLE
Attempt to apologize to my wife again and wonder what to do with seven extra babies.
Disregard magical spambot girls, become Dipper Pines instead
Should Lolfail0009's action fail, open fire on the terrorbirds. Tell the avatar to read this thread. We really haven't established the actual size of my mech, by the way. Is it larger or smaller than the terrorbirds? Also, MUAHAHAHA this story is never ending and written by the GM, so it can't possibly be deemed bad, unless self-ironically!
So, the bird pack at the gate got sent off to bother someone else?
Wait... Does that mean that many of us and rest of Bay12 are actually the same person? Because I know for a fact that many of the players of this RTD, including me, have done GMing in the past or present. IT's So Meta, Even This Acronym.
So, the bird pack at the gate got sent off to bother someone else?
Wait... Does that mean that many of us and rest of Bay12 are actually the same person? Because I know for a fact that many of the players of this RTD, including me, have done GMing in the past or present. IT's So Meta, Even This Acronym.
There are three types of people on this forum, then.
People who haven't GM'd... People who have...
And me.
Wait... Does that mean that many of us and rest of Bay12 are actually the same person? Because I know for a fact that many of the players of this RTD, including me, have done GMing in the past or present. IT's So Meta, Even This Acronym.
There are three types of people on this forum, then.
People who haven't GM'd... People who have...
And me.
Quiet down before I consume you and gain metapower.
Quiet down before I consume you and gain metapower.Aaaand here we have even more Ouroboros, now 47% more meta!
Try me.
You realize you must roll for this?Try me.
WELP
Obliterate the metagm and steal his power.
I... LIVE.
Try me.
WELP
Obliterate the metagm and steal his power.
I... LIVE.
Yay, I control half the metarolls! Combine it with the newly created multiverse me's, ominfy as per the rules, and now I have infinte metapower. Yay overstacking!
Escape and then get my mexican food.
Enslave new terror bird pack.
Suggest this to my wife.
"O....kayyyyyyy. There's a terror bird. In front of me."
Keep calm and run the fuck away
GRAB AVATAR'S HAND AND JUMP THROUGH PORTAL.
If he resists, GET EMOTIONAL.
We gotta flee!
Should Lolfail0009's action fail, open fire on the terrorbirds. Tell the avatar to read this thread. We really haven't established the actual size of my mech, by the way. Is it larger or smaller than the terrorbirds? Also, MUAHAHAHA this story is never ending and written by the GM, so it can't possibly be deemed bad, unless self-ironically!
Release Hexus (who has apparently by now become powerful enough to be voiced by Morgan Freeman) so he may destroy the jungle and (ironically) save Australia.
"Computer... you think this will work?"
Summon the ultraversal lords, beg for their mercy, ask for help with possible threat to ultraverse.
You're no omnigm!Didn't we realize that every GM is part of the same OmniGM due to a fun weekend? That makes us two the same person, as I've GMed before. ...I agree on getting the omniversal council to help, this is just crazy and chaotic.
You've got a life expectancy of about one minute before this multiverse is turned into an avatar shitting machine that'll let the buggers take over the ultraverse, which is all the multiverses combined. I'm in charge of this multiverse, and I am sooooo getting my butt kicked by the ultra universal council.(I hope so. This crazy shit is literally eating a perfectly good RTD about other crazy shit.)
(I don't even know, but order shall be restored momentarily with the metaGM losing all gm powaa. Please stand by.)
the ultracouncil has shut down all avatarsALL avatars, or just ones not controlled by players? If it's the former, I'm afraid you just killed this game.
the ultracouncil has shut down all avatarsALL avatars, or just ones not controlled by players? If it's the former, I'm afraid you just killed this game.
(So can I get back to trying to instigate Mad Max via Ferngully or whatever I was doing?)
That's the most I've ever derailed a thread, I think.
Teach pet terror bird to speak fluent Welsh. Decipher chaos wrought by my excessive MetaGMing.
(I can only imagine this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF9cxhiFw3M) playing in the background. Text colour choices in the Great Meta-War of Page 17 only get added to. :P)
"Okay, okay. Think! I can't outrun these birds."
Try to tame a terror bird with my MANLINESS
"...I am going to get killed."
Bread-mech: Fight the terrorbirds in an unrealistically cool manner, such as strangling one with it's own tongue, then roasting with my flamethrower. Count the terrorbirds.
"Did anyone feel like the universe just hiccuped for a second?"
Anyway, release the Morgan-Freeman powered Hexus.
Though you could summon him back through a ridiculously silly adventure involving cheese, gods and the location of my TV remote.
By the way, what will happen if someone changes their avatar, as [cough]someone[/cough] has?I'm kind of treating it like a change of character perspective.
By the way, what will happen if someone changes their avatar, as [cough]someone[/cough] has?
Ask pet terror bird to enter a formal alliance with me.
Sooooo, terrorbirds are still there though, and avatar is gonna go fight'm?
Freak outand start climbing on mr avatar. Become his backpack. Piddle a little bit.
I'll leave exactly what I do up to the rolls.
Possibilities:
Sling feces
pee all over the avatar
distract a terrorbird (dear god no)
lose my mind and climb on a terrorbird, prompting others to attack it when they see me
stand there and throw an ineffectual tantrum, rip up books
hide behind portals
something involving potatoes
do not want: go through portal without avatar
Well, fine by me. It wants to destroy the rainforest, after all.
"Survivors! Rejoice, for I have found Australia's secret weapon against the environment! Brought to you by Morgan Freeman! He has the power to turn this entire continent into a desert waste, free of terror-birds!"
Bluff the universe: The terrorbirds are actually only 10 centimeters tall each. (http://xkcd.com/758/)
Beat someone to death with subpar American import.
Buy my wife a car.
Not a Ferrari, but not a lemon, either.
Summon Singing Dookie.
"Oh, uh, that works too"
Steal a terror bird egg as a souvenir, then scram
Attack Dipper Pines.Right, down, a (Run)
Alright, if you're like you, me and like everyone else, you're really fucking confused. So here is State of The Game No2! (spelling shmelling)And I will mention that the rampage is after many drunken scientific moments. And I was just looking for Mexican food.
In the future, you have Hugoluman, Erils and Remuthra, who are all in Terror Bird Survivor Camp. The terror birds outside have been sent to the future by the now defunct avatar, and they are engaging Icytea, darkpaladin and GrizzlyAdams in Elephantophis. Lolfail is trying to kill Objective, kj1225 is rampaging through Central and South America, Sentient Bowtie is playing husband, Elephantparade is playing crusades, Playergamer is on the run from the UN, and a bunch of mostly inactive people are bumming about in the dark city, which is now called New London.
Now go get some Mexican food and maybe a senorita.
Summon a gorrila with a jetpack that can perform backflips while spitting acid and dual wielding chainguns that rapid fire rockets everywhere while performing said backflip.
OH SHIT, CONTINUE FREAKING OUT.
Wrestle with conscience
If Succes:
Continue to flee with baby terror bird
If Fail:
Return to save fallen mech
Earn money and buy her a nice car, then.
Attack Dipper Pines.
Attack Dipper Pines.Right, down, a (Run)
Go to europe
Open the hatch of the mech and throw the potatoes I stole from the potato dimension at the terrorbirds. These had better do something, I wouldn't want to have picked them up for nothing.
Well, fine by me. It wants to destroy the rainforest, after all.
"Survivors! Rejoice, for I have found Australia's secret weapon against the environment! Brought to you by Morgan Freeman! He has the power to turn this entire continent into a desert waste, free of terror-birds!"
"It kills off the terror birds, leaving a path open to get off this continent. And he would like the return of industrialized civilization, since he feeds off emissions and stuff."
Summon a gorrila with a jetpack that can perform backflips while spitting acid and dual wielding chainguns that rapid fire rockets everywhere while performing said backflip.Do this again.
"So that explains the stolen grease trap. Also, that is a terrible idea."
Close hatch. Stand up. Check the mech for damage. In hindsight, I wonder how I threw the potatoes without any hands... Have I suddenly gained powers of telekinesis?
Mope
Summon a gorrila with a jetpack that can perform backflips while spitting acid and dual wielding chainguns that rapid fire rockets everywhere while performing said backflip.Do this again.
"Fair enough. But it takes a lot to get me, since I don't have a fleshy brain. And I'm not really sure who's at bigger risk in the process, but I guess we won't know until we try."
Commence experiment.
If you're sure this is advisable.
Calculating Temporal Jump...
Set the angle and quantity of alcohol consumption to control just what the drunk science accomplishes.
Create a GECK using drunk science
Where exactly am I? What can I see around me?You see:
Run with pet baby terror bird back to home universe
Umm...what is the home universe?
kill all the Terrorbirds.Sorry buddy, I already drove them away with my Potato-Fu.
Run with pet baby terror bird back to home universe
Umm...what is the home universe?
Woo. Continue my rampage after I become unsatisfiyed again.
Exit mech. Craft a bag of some sort, grab potatoes and carry them with me.Find something to not be terrible at everything, such as latent magical powers.EDIT: Befriend the gorilla to carry me around and work as muscle. I wouldn't mind the magic powers, but I think that would be too many actions for one turn.
Recruit new terror bird that is done playing with mech.
Create gorrila mech with a jetpack dual wielding chainguns that fire rockets instead of bullets. Pilot the Gorrila mech if sucesfull and kill all the Terrorbirds.
nO
NO ILLEGALITY.
Legally and legitimately earn the money and buy her a car.
Sneak into IcyTea31's mech while he isn't looking
"Well, you survivors coming or not? I've got to get through and close this."
Fly around on my Mech. Offer to let the monkey drive it.@pally/smurf
Heh heh. "Let's do this texas style."
Proceed to do this Texas style.
"Very well. Let's move out!"
Go home, close it behind us.
Poke compass. Observe spinny-bit. Nibble.
Cmooon enlightenment!
Fly around on my Mech. Offer to let the monkey drive it.
Attempt to bringnecronlegions with me through the portal.
"NOPE"
Run away and try to find civilization
Start building a civilization here
Chase and devour insolent terror bird with my viscera on its beak.
Where am I?
Fight the horde with my one hundred and fifteen flaming, fifteen-metre-long tentacles, my ten-metre-long, muscular body and my huge, venomous fangs!inb4 something /bad/ happens to these things.
Fight dirty.
Fight the horde with my one hundred and fifteen flaming, fifteen-metre-long tentacles, my ten-metre-long, muscular body and my huge, venomous fangs!
PRESS BUTTONS
Put a forcefield around Elephantopolis.
Explore the city
is anyone else here?
Find/create something to do.
WHOOP DE DO WHAT ELSE DO I ALREADY KNOW
Continue being legal.
(So, where is everybody again?)Actual location or future/'home'?
"Ahhhh,of course. This tea is totally worth selling the egg. I can do business. In your face, Grunkle Stan!"First rule of Grunkle Stan: He puts the fun in NO REFUNDS
Sip tea like a proper gentleman before realizing this was a stupid decision and try to get the egg back
(So, where is everybody again?)
Attempt to cause the rise of my warbot armies once again.(They turned against you in this timeline, didn't they?)
(The Troubleshooters turned against me. My mechanized legions are loyal servants who do not question their master's sudden development of megalomania and magic powers.)Attempt to cause the rise of my warbot armies once again.(They turned against you in this timeline, didn't they?)
(I'm pretty sure there was a bad roll somewhere that ruined your chances of controlling them here)(How? I haven't made any rolls here since I was shot down, and I was actively fighting bread mechs with robot servitors at that time.)
Ain't I in the Precambrian??
Realize I can't go home as I have given up my pacifist ways. Begin wandering the world doing odd jobs no matted the legality.
Roll for calmness!
If calm,
Look out windows at pretty scenery, (also for mr avatar).
If /not/ calm,
Be not-calm.
Use warp key. Make sure my gorilla and bag get in too. By Sturgeon's Law, I calculate a 90% chance to get into something completely stupid, unfunny and boring. I've won with worse odds.
"Ahhhh,of course. This tea is totally worth selling the egg. I can do business. In your face, Grunkle Stan!"
Sip tea like a proper gentleman before realizing this was a stupid decision and try to get the egg back
"ENOUGH!"USE FUSION FLAREWreath body in an inferno.
Attempt to cause the rise of my warbot armies once again.
Open up the compartment containing bananas on the mech.
"Sorry computer, looks like you're without any real power. Say, would some science cheer you up?"Indeed, bearer, this unit is still without crucial system resource upgrades. Recommend acquisition as soon as practical.
Find advanced laboratory, use DNA from raptor parts to clone raptors.
Allow myself to be taken in and hopefully rehabilitated.
Nibble banana, kinda full. Tap compass on things, observe spinny bit.
Cmon enlightenment!
Summon bana pistol. Shoot tea powered superhumans with it. If that fails, turn them into powerless bananas. Afterwards, turn a few skyscrapers into gigantic bananas.
"Nooooooooooo!!!!!!"
Skyward scream
Slither/flow away and reform.
Start creating a cloning machine
Get out of the car and leave my insurance information in the windshield.
"Sorry computer, looks like you're without any real power. Say, would some science cheer you up?"
Find advanced laboratory, use DNA from raptor parts to clone raptors.
.... That's exactly what was supposed to happen though.
Seek to join the Nerazim and learn their powers. I'm going to regret this, aren't I?
As a loaf of sentient interdimensional bread riding a gorilla, you're gonna attract a lot of attention.The question is whether or not the attention will be good for me. Meaning a roll has to be made, which is the essence of the game.
Hijack cloning machine and clone myself 5000 times. Teleport myself to Elephantopolis with all my clones and kill the Tea powered superhumans.My machine or poketwo's?
Yours, if you're not using it for anything at the moment. Otherwise I'l hijack Poketwo's.Hijack cloning machine and clone myself 5000 times. Teleport myself to Elephantopolis with all my clones and kill the Tea powered superhumans.My machine or poketwo's?
Make hooting noises! Shake it around, look at the underside!
Goddamnit I'm just a monkey, I don't know how to compass! GIMME ENLIGHTENMENT!
Do my time.
You... aren't understanding. The action was to let myself go to jail. If I rolled a one it would be me failing at that.
I will have vengeance! Attempt to summon a monster to thrash the store
Seek to join the Nerazim and learn their powers. I'm going to regret this, aren't I?
Go to Elephantophis with my baby terror bird pet
Hijack cloning machine and clone myself 5000 times. Teleport myself to Elephantopolis with all my clones and kill the Tea powered superhumans.
I can't see the update. Do I have the cloning machine, if so.
Start clonning myself to build civilization
Fax check to owner of the price of the window.
"I'll be right back, honey."
Go to car dealership and buy the exact same model and color car that I stole.
Shit that fell off you and primitive bacterium from primordial soup and other stuff.Relevant (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6QYDdgP9eg) me thinks.
So did I buy the car or not?!You bought it with the stolen car.
did the machine work???
Wait, what? What are the Khala doing on Shakuras? I thought it is the stronghold of the Nerazim? Find out why things aren't quite right. Is this a parody? Modded Starcraft? Another timeline?
Find out which species of raptor these are. I need data for marketing...
Oh. In that case, begin marketing research. On the marketability of these creatures.Find out which species of raptor these are. I need data for marketing...
You silly goose, they're mutated birds or lizards from a separate timeline's future, not true dinosaurs. Call em whatever you want.
Do you even Brood War / SC2?No, I don't. I was going with the setup in the beginning of SC2, using a wiki to help with the details.
Get strong spiritually and physically.
So did I buy the car or not?!
Oh shit, push buttons, follow light beam!
"Oh, uh, hey, some guy."
Try to negotiate my way out
Oh. In that case, begin marketing research. On the marketability of these creatures.
Do you even Brood War / SC2?No, I don't. I was going with the setup in the beginning of SC2, using a wiki to help with the details.
Learn psionics.
IN YOUR FACE, old smurfingtonthethird!Retry levitation. Attempt moving things around with telekinesis. Discover if I have any other magical/psychic/SCIENTIFIC powers.
[1]
You are a loaf of bread. You can roll on your side. Nuttin else.
IN YOUR FACE, old smurfingtonthethird!Retry levitation. Attempt moving things around with telekinesis. Discover if I have any other magical/psychic/SCIENTIFIC powers.
[1]
You are a loaf of bread. You can roll on your side. Nuttin else.
To clarify, do I have Psionic Storm, or just Feedback in my repertoire?
Return to the home universe.
Build a house for my pet baby terror bird and me
[1]
You successfully build the house. It then collapses and kills your pet baby terror bird.
"Ow"
Screw all this magic bullcrap, break in to get the egg back
Return to the home universe.
Discern new location. Recuperate.
Keep on keeping on!
Continue waiting out my time.
Build a house for my pet baby terror bird and me
Build a house for my pet baby terror bird and me
[1]
You successfully build the house. It then collapses and kills your pet baby terror bird.
Why possible future smurfingtonthethird? WHY???
Summon an army of superpowerful and supersmart creatures to serve. Have them kill all the superhumans.
How did the terrorbirds get created?
What's the order of events from the beggining of the game to this point?
"Ow"
Screw all this magic bullcrap, break in to get the egg back
Transform into Black Kyurem
Hey, there wouldn't happen to be the ruler of some micronation needing an army of creatures, would there?
destroy master ball, if it doesn't work, reflect it.
destroy master ball, if it doesn't work, reflect it.
Literal gods can't avoid that fucker. You have no chance.
Yeah, I'm trying to find as many Dippers as I can for the rotation. There's bound to be one that correspond to the situation. (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/Smileys/aaron/tongue.gif)"Ow"
Screw all this magic bullcrap, break in to get the egg back
When I was on the previous page, your avatar was the happy dipper and you were talking about negotiating. Suddenly I switch to this page, and your avatar is frustrated/angry dipper. For a second I thought you had set it so you had a different avatar for just that post.
Just a question smurfington, is my baby terror bird dead or still alive?Schrödinger's terror bird
Erils doesn't have an avatar.
You should draw yourself an avatar!
OOH, OOH! Draw a big ol ripling-biceps wolfman that /also/ has a gloriously beautiful, 100% human face! But also has 2" fangs! But 100% human in the face area!You can draw that, but I won't use it.
BECOME DA STWONGEST
destroy master ball, if it doesn't work, reflect it. Also say: You don't have a ghost of a chance against me
Yes. All is well.
Ask of my wife one thing:
her name.
Not one to keep his hands to himself, monkey does the feely-number with the crystal.
(in or out of mech depending on roll)
(in-mech is good)
Take the egg, looking at the shopkeep in the eye.
Well, that was a fruitful endeavour. Let's go on another! Find/create something to do.
Bask in the glory of my house
Attempt to create a highly trainable, loyal, and obedient strain of these creatures.
Explore new domain.
Erils doesn't have an avatar.
BRAINWASH THE SUPERHUMANS WITH MAGIC POTATO
Cook BARBARA some food.
((With BARBARA being happy?))
That's a relief. What do you want?AWWww cmoooon!
What abilities does the potato sword have?'It's enchanted with +15 Potato.'
Welcome to the W40k universe.OH CARP! GET THE CARP OUT OF HERE! If this is a 4, I wonder what a 1 leads to on a roll like this...
Invader Zim universe.Welcome to the W40k universe.OH CARP! GET THE CARP OUT OF HERE! If this is a 4, I wonder what a 1 leads to on a roll like this...
Start growing potatoes in the garden. Then take a nice swim in the pool.
ASSERT DOMINANCE OVER CARTELS.
Cook BARBARA some food.
Wander around room in Goroborilla. Look about for remotes & shiny treasures, (under cushions, in ovens, perhaps within the giant banana in the kitchen). Try not to be crushed by the gm/his dinner guests.Spoiler: 'Giant livingroom' (click to show/hide)
Ok, who caught me???
Retire to New Zealand with a ranch full of raptors. Sell pets to people.
Take the potato sword and turn the superhumans into potatos.
Burn eel-thing to a crisp.
Welcome to the W40k universe.OH CARP! GET THE CARP OUT OF HERE! If this is a 4, I wonder what a 1 leads to on a roll like this...
Return to the game with my full fury, and turtle slap the shit out of the damn mage if he's still around.
"I'M BAAAAAAACK."
Attempt to tame a free raptor should I receive oneGood news!
Attempt to create a highly trainable, loyal, and obedient strain of these creatures.
[5]
Success! Now what?
Wait, are these raptors house broken yet?Attempt to create a highly trainable, loyal, and obedient strain of these creatures.
[5]
Success! Now what?
FIND THE MAGE!!!!!
Give a raptor to every player on this thread.
Find at least one of the other players.
EDIT: In addition, ditch my gorilla and ride the raptor if I receive one.
Attempt to tame a free raptor should I receive one
Leave sewers in most dramatic way possible.
(http://31.media.tumblr.com/c22ade4c63ae75d1040864618bb16726/tumblr_mzvbvcA9IS1scqsz8o1_500.gif)
Assert dominance darn it.
Evolve! For the proletariat!
Try to cook food again.
Kill coolguy, if cannot, then kill the but
Nah, I'd put em in Capsicum Annuum, my personal military.Even if they were cooked with cheese and bacon?
Those are grounds for a senior position.Nah, I'd put em in Capsicum Annuum, my personal military.Even if they were cooked with cheese and bacon?
Leave in the most badass way possible.
Cook the potato men and eat them. If that fails, teleport them onto the place where Grizzlyadams is at and on the GM's plate, so he eats them.
Uhh,
Toss unobtain(ium?) at a corner of the room. Continue spelunking.
Hide in some small island country. Form a gang of criminals for that one big heist.
Have a friendly tea-time with the potato-powered superhumans with the tea from the pool and the potatoes I grew.
Attack the damn mage. He likes screwing with me.
Bake potato. Consume with eel-thing.
Get in contact with communist in Australia. Agree to help him with his revolution if he lets me out of this ball
Escape to by some other player. I CAN'T STAND TE LONELINESS
Expel recently eaten matter, then leave sewers.
"Oh, hi there, monkey. Find the GM's remote? Sure, easy."
Telepathically scrounge up the GM's memories to find where he last left the remote.
Recover two turns later.
"Owwwwwwwwwwww"
Press buttons!
(potato incoming!)
Also, Freak out (http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/4885377/jaw-break-o.gif) about the talking terrorsaur.
(Also, make screaming noises, (mentally included))
TELEPORT AWAY.
COOK BARBARA
Close enough.
Woo! Go celebrate by getting drunk and or getting my freak on!
COOK
THE FOOD
Dapperly travel with the dapper Super Potato Men and my pet dapper Schrödinger's baby terror bird to the dapper land of elephantophis
Rob the Pentagon.
Offer Raptors to both the Pentagon and playgergamer. Oh hell, offer raptors to every faction thus far mentioned in this thread.
Attention, you stinky ingrates! First one to get into my event gets a randomly generated adventure!What is this event you speak of?
Channel The Things I Was Not Meant To Know into a telepathic search powerful enough to hear the remote's nonexistent thoughts, then go get it.
What is this event you speak of?
channel cosmonaut ancestors!
Anyone mind summing me what happened?Start reading from the beggining. It's pretty much impossible to summarize what happened.
Teach new raptor fluent Welsh.
Channel The Things I Was Not Meant To Know into a telepathic search powerful enough to hear the remote's nonexistent thoughts, then go get it.Attention, you stinky ingrates! First one to get into my event gets a randomly generated adventure!What is this event you speak of?
Steal RAINBOW LASER GUN and incapacitate SB with it.
Find... THE REMOTE!
DO NOT WANT NEW TERRORBIRD.
Press buttons, pull levers, toggle switches, channel cosmonaut ancestors!
Put everything on WikiLeaks. Marshal supporters into an army. Buy guns and tanks really quickly.
Anyone mind summing me what happened?
Also my avatar is:
Ulrezaj, Dark Archon from Starcraft: Dark Templar Saga.
Hey, look at that! Somebody made a TvTropes page for us! I wonder who it was... wink wink, nudge nudge
Over here. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatarsBay12Edition)
"Well, looks like no communist revolution helped by me.... It's kinda my thing here on the forums though..... Maybe I should try something patriotic.... Like a nationalist to the USA!!!!! Yes!!! Now to exaggerate it to get happy chaos!!!"
Get out of ball, Then start turning the world Into Glorious USAland. To japany for me here
DO NOT WANT NEW TERRORBIRD.It's not a terrorbird, it's a raptor! Or mutated tuatara, whatever! But it's much smaller than a terrorbird.
Press buttons, pull levers, toggle switches, channel cosmonaut ancestors!
DO NOT WANTDO NOT WANT NEW TERRORBIRD.It's not a terrorbird, it's a raptor! Or mutated tuatara, whatever! But it's much smaller than a terrorbird.
Press buttons, pull levers, toggle switches, channel cosmonaut ancestors!
Ah, but it's tame and has accepted you as its master. It will follow you everywhere.Imminent tears.
Copy the files, and sell the copy. Meanwhile, keep putting up more WikiLeaks sites to get more followers. Don't get caught.This is starting to sound like cookie-clicker... (http://clickingbad.nullism.com/)
USE THS SHEER FORCE OF MY STRENGTH TO FIND THIS PITIFUL PIECE OF PLASTIC![/3b]
no, I mean the pokemon world I am certainly in, not your world.
also, wait for potato rain to release me
SUMMOND DERM HELLBINDER AND HAVE HIM MURDER ALL THE POTATOMEN
DO NOT WANTDO NOT WANT NEW TERRORBIRD.It's not a terrorbird, it's a raptor! Or mutated tuatara, whatever! But it's much smaller than a terrorbird.
Press buttons, pull levers, toggle switches, channel cosmonaut ancestors!
Continue searching for remote, content with the distance between myself and the giant lizards.
Copy the files, and sell the copy. Meanwhile, keep putting up more WikiLeaks sites to get more followers. Don't get caught.
SEEK REVENGE AGAINST THE MURDERER OF MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE BARBARA
Try to see if the tea here have healing properties
(Also, is there a free spot?)It's a minimalistic RtD, so you can join whenever you want.
All right! Become candidate for the position of mayor as well, promising social equality, good humor, and more beard.
With my home telescope look for something interesting in Space. Preferably something inbound.
Thaw and revive BARBARA as a zombie.
Hadoken!
WAKE UP. LIKE A MAN!
GLORIOUS BRITISH DINOSAUR POWERS!
Edit: Concur with Erils. Vote for the Dapper One!
Figure out why I am so tiny.
Politely ask the government for permission to use satellites to target the pain elemental and FUCKING OBLITERATE HIM FROM SPACE WITH AN ORBITAL DEFENSE LASER
Dapperly run for dapper mayor of elephantophis. Campaign on the platform of increasing the TPC (tea per capita) and furthering research into making tea more dapper than ever
Also
Hack the tvtropes page to make it a campaign poster for my campaign for dapper mayor
All right! Become candidate for the position of mayor as well, promising social equality, good humor, and more beard.
Saw through all the potatoes. Especially North Korean ones.
Where should I be sending my space program then? Unless you promise to stay in space...I don't think Chzo even is in space or frozen.
Figure out what happened.
I sawed through all the potatoes, duh.
Find a worthy opponent.
Train raptors to operate rocketry. Send raptor-crewed space expedition to land on Chzo's frozen body.
Thaw. Give Playergamer all the magic power he could want, including the ability to hide from any human whenever he wants.
Help darkpaladin thaw.
Find a way to get back to my full size
Throw tantrum! Eyeball the unobtainium, try to connect the synapses between it & what I usually do with feces.
Where am I right now? Did I get booted out of the living room?
Thaw him again.
"No, Pain Elementals are bad for you! Stop eating it!" (sent over the radio)
Salute and begin duty.
Teleport to Elephantophis.Vote for Erils.Gain citizenship. Apparently, Erils already won, as I reread the update.
"Bad feather-kin!"
Teach the raptor fluent Welsh.
Obtain top hat and monacle. Use newfound dapperness to prove sapience, vote for Erils.
wait
Make Hugoluman's raptors somewhat smarter.
Get the Raptors to syndicalize. Become Secretary General of the Raptor Party.
Jump out the window in a mixture of rage, fear, and sadness.
Reverse time. Everyone is now dinosaurs.
continue waiting
Reverse time. Everyone is now dinosaurs.
Kyle sighs and nods before checking his money.
Clean up unused drunk science stuff. Use as stockpile.
Take her on her free lunch then.
Prevent raptors and future conversation from happening. Populate world with tyrannosauroids.
Coo adorably until suitable opportunity is reached. Tear out businessman's throat. Rule world.
Prevent raptors and future conversation from happening. Populate world with tyrannosauroids.Thing is, they're actually clones of a severely mutated tuatara from an alternate future. So messing around with the past can't do anything to make them go away.
((Uh... We're in a trench coat stacked up on each other.(Instantly, this anime sidetrip you're on is both justified and 100x funnier)
(Just wondering, what ever happened to all the other vault boys in the horde?)
Want a glimpse to my thought processes while I make my actions? No? Go punch a carp. Yes? Good, here:Prove that the regular citizens are edible too, making it a poor excuse and racism.That is a terrible idea, brain.Prove my inedibility by frying the brains of anyone even looking at me funny.Too risky, no thanks.Destroy the entire city while calling out their racism.What the f...carp? Why?Tell the citizens that it's not polite to base your view on a person by their edibility.Now we're getting somewhere...Tell the citizens that it is not at all dapper or gentlemanly to be racist. Reason that after all, all of us are edible by something.Perfect, but it doesn't quite have the strength...
Tell the citizens that it is not at all dapper or gentlemanly to be racist. Reason that after all, all of us are edible by something. Such as you by this raptor I am currently riding as you're insulting me, nudge nudge. Absolutely perfect! Now to post it...
Carp, carp, carp, my action could be misinterpreted! I also could have made a joke earlier, EDITEDITEDIT Don't actually sic the raptor to eat the citizens, even though that would be rather mafia-ish diplomacy to fit my style. Phew, disaster averted.
Prevent raptors and future conversation from happening. Populate world with tyrannosauroids.Thing is, they're actually clones of a severely mutated tuatara from an alternate future. So messing around with the past can't do anything to make them go away.
Which reminds me, my last thing wasn't an action because it wasn't bolded, but them being on fire makes sense due to darkpaladin's roll I guess. So...
Organize a memorial service at the ranch, for the fallen raptornauts. Give the raptors their choice of formal attire for the service.
I go about setting up my stuff.
((But I WAS the strongest. That's a four not a six.))
((Fine. I'll become the strongest again...))
Clean up. Don't even know how that happened.
((Subvert what?))
Close enough for now. Go shopping.
"We are gathered here today not only to mourn a great loss, but to honor the courage of those great pioneers who risked their lives to push past the boundaries of this planet. Though they perished in the attempt, their selfless sacrifice stands as a marker of future triumph for all of... um... raptor-kind."
To lift their spirits, organize a raptor moon landing.
"Hey Lara, could you come with me? I think I saw some tea this way and I have a bit of cash."
Tea distraction.
Demonstrate power by frying the brain of the first person to touch me. I gave peace a chance. It didn't work. Back to plan B.
Well, if it's Apollo 13, then at least the raptornauts survived, and it can be said that they triumphed over system failures that would have killed most people. It's still uplifting!
Learn from past mistakes, put raptors on the goddamn moon!
>implying it's not still occuring..
GM's Sphere!
Roll for braindamage!
(4/5 being beneficial!)
Well shit.
Slowly begin to sprout.
(BTW, potatos are tubers, not vege-
Usher in Golden Dapper Age of Tea for Elephantophis
Lay on ground, continue sprouting until I've located nutrients and have begun photosynthesis.
Fuck it.
Put out ad in Raptor magazine: "Japan is the go-to place for raptor vacations"
They've been working hard, they deserve a break. Japan because it's relatively near NZ, so that will save on fuel.
Grow, and, once my resource base is sufficiently large to support the expenditure, begin to flower.
I KNEW IT, THEY'RE TERRORSAURS.
Heh, no one that comes & reads this later will know how many avatars I went through.
Get my sexual reproduction on, make seeds, get'm dispersed by animals. FLY MY CHILDREN!
Fuck. That can't be good. We need to get this space program going faster, before things turn ugly(ier) on Earth.
1/3rd of Raptor Scientific team perform Sober Metascience on 1/3rd Drunk Raptor Scientific team. Remaining 1/3rd for control/having some left if it all goes to balls.
..What have you done?!Fuck. That can't be good. We need to get this space program going faster, before things turn ugly(ier) on Earth.
1/3rd of Raptor Scientific team perform Sober Metascience on 1/3rd Drunk Raptor Scientific team. Remaining 1/3rd for control/having some left if it all goes to balls.
[5]
Drunk metascience has been researched! Now with the correct cocktails, ingredients and stimulants, you can direct drunk science. Mankind's greatest achievement since fire.
Fuck. That can't be good. We need to get this space program going faster, before things turn ugly(ier) on Earth.
1/3rd of Raptor Scientific team perform Sober Metascience on 1/3rd Drunk Raptor Scientific team. Remaining 1/3rd for control/having some left if it all goes to balls.
[5]
Drunk metascience has been researched! Now with the correct cocktails, ingredients and stimulants, you can direct drunk science. Mankind's greatest achievement since fire.
DEAR GOD :o
Using this immense power, develop the necessary technology and COLONIZE SPACE.
Continue to grow & spread, as time passes do the evolvy thing.
Found a tea cartel. Make citizens addicted to my tea with special additives. Buy out factories of regular tea. Monopolize. Buy dapper clothes for myself and my raptor. Drug manufacturing and money counterfeiting at the same time, double the Fun!
"Mauvaise plume-parents!"*cough*tuatara*cough*
Teach the fucking bird Welsh.
Which potatoes?All of them.
EXCELLENT, KEEP DOING THAT!
"Mauvaise plume-parents!"
Teach the fucking bird Welsh.
Become spiky black hole. Absorb potatoes to crush them into a singularity.
A two gets me to one-dimensional jail, I can't even imagine what a one would have got me. Tear space-time with psionics and escape.
"Mauvaise plume-parents!"
Teach the fucking bird Welsh.
[6]
It knows welsh. It just can't speak it.
(Its not a mutated tuatara, nor is it a true bird. It is a mutated chicken, ie a devolved one, that got big.)
Grow too fast for the humans. And also the black hole. Rude!I'm not being rude. I'm keeping you from taking control of North Korea and nuking the world.
Hear rumors of and contact my old friend, the Bread.
That clears up the inconsistency, at least.
Write bird a formal invitation to join me in a major ass-kicking.
What, just one attempt at conquering a country economically, and I could have died?
Ask the Protoss if I owe them anything for the rescue. Find a way to contact HugoLuman cross-'verse.
Damn you, atmosphere.
Reform. Attempt destruction of all potatoes again.
Grow too fast for the humans. And also the black hole. Rude!
Write bird a formal invitation to join me in a major ass-kicking.
[2]
Dear bird,
I want you to kill shit.
Signed, snake monster.
Yeah, nah.
Where to did the Protoss rescue me, actually? The Starcraft-verse, I believe, but where exactly?
Write bird a formal invitation to join me in a major ass-kicking.
[2]
Dear bird,
I want you to kill shit.
Signed, snake monster.
Yeah, nah.
That's going in the sigthread :P
Open rift to Australia.
MWahahahaha, KEEP GROWING & MUTATING!
Yay, wait for my partner.
Flamey shadowey tentacle storm! (focused on the birds)
Besides live action role play? And I think she thinks we are....
Damnit, evolution goes too slow. Get guided by an intelligent creator.
Well, at least the chances of us having to associate with this one on a regular basis is low...
Take two! Aaaaand action!
Well...reroll.
We don't got no brains yet GM!
Fuck. Not the action. The expletive.
Open fast-food restaurant, make french fries.
Take three, now with venom spray!
Fuck. Not the action. The expletive.
That is acceptable.
Continue to poop & mutate.
Fuck. Not the action. The expletive.If you didn't want the action, why did you bold it to be an action? Or did you secretly want a critical failure, hm?
Assist potato evolution, become POTATO GOD!Assimilate.
"This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"I'm sorry. I can't help but point out how many spelling errors rage causes.
Adapt to new environment.If you killed all the terrorbirds in alternate!Australia, doesn't that make you pretty much the only living creature there?
(Don't shit me on this roll, I actually live in this country. We call terror birds "cassowaries".)
sorry, that's what happens when I type in caps, spell check does not work for me."This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"I'm sorry. I can't help but point out how many spelling errors rage causes.
4 and a few grammatical ones
Assist potato evolution, become POTATO GOD!
While I'm here, hone my psionic abilities further. Then return home.
EDIT:Fuck. Not the action. The expletive.If you didn't want the action, why did you bold it to be an action? Or did you secretly want a critical failure, hm?
Retire from mayors office to my nice house
Adapt to new environment.
(Don't shit me on this roll, I actually live in this country. We call terror birds "cassowaries".)
Put out fire.
NUKE ENTIRE WORLD
Uh, cuddle back I guess?(Hurrah! You nearly defeated the idiot plot! Nearly. What did you do to the RNG to deserve this mess?)
Assist potato evolution, become POTATO GOD!Assimilate.
More mutations.
"This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
TURN ALL OF THE GM'S POTATOS INTO VODKA
Begin parthogenesis. Join potatoes in organic reproductive overlordship of Earth. Cease to be such a midget and become GLORIOUS DAPPER TYRANNOSAUROID!.
Put out fire.DO THIS AGAIN
NUKE ENTIRE WORLD
"This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Do this again
TURN ALL OF THE GM'S POTATOS INTO VODKA
*is wondering if he can join.Yop.
*is wondering if he can join.I joined when darkpaladin screenhacked me so I'm pretty sure anyone can join
There are a lot of shadows in space, and I can breath in its vacuum. I learned it from Batman.He is on fire, you know. You might want to start on someone else's face.
On fire in the middle of space...There are a lot of shadows in space, and I can breath in its vacuum. I learned it from Batman.He is on fire, you know. You might want to start on someone else's face.
Purge potatoism. Continue pooping out pre-fertilised eggs like an aphid. Return to present time after army is formed.
Dapperly relax in dapper house with dapper pet schrodinger's terror bird
Put out fire.DO THIS AGAIN
NUKE ENTIRE WORLD
Do... something to assist myself.
((I slept with her sister.))
"This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Do this again
TURN ALL OF THE GM'S POTATOS INTO VODKA
I will not fail
Right, thats it. I RESUMMON MY AVATAR.
PROTECT THINGS THAT AMUSE ME!
Then I shall!
Scuttles out of the shadows and onto Poketwo's face. "Sup?"
Use non-potato'd self as replacement for Shrodinger's terror bird.
Build utopia in the Alpha Centauri system.
Eat things, grow, & mutate.
Allow mr. avatar temporary control over the hivemind while I slumber, to roll as he sees fit.
"I don't even know."
Nod and exchange pleasantries with kj. "Excuse me, but I'm not entirely sure what's going on here.
NOOOOO! :'(
Well I knew that would happen eventually
Bury my pet terror bird and mourn
AGAIN"This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Do this again
TURN ALL OF THE GM'S POTATOS INTO VODKA
I will not fail
Nod and exchange pleasantries with kj. "Excuse me, but I'm not entirely sure what's going on here.
[2]
No-one's seen you. GHOST SPIDER
Contemplate role in life accept it.
AGAIN"This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Do this again
TURN ALL OF THE GM'S POTATOS INTO VODKA
I will not fail
Wonder how I made Poketwo lay in a fetal position in the corner if I'm an invisible ghost spider.
Join Raptor utopia, become TV comedian.
Return home.Go on an adventure.Go back to the bakery I came from and demonstrate my powers to the baker.
Turn IcyTea into infinitely slice-able bread. Slice away.Block the attack with my psiblades. Not cool, man.
Turn IcyTea into infinitely slice-able bread. Slice away.
Turn IcyTea into infinitely slice-able bread. Slice away.Block the attack with my psiblades. Not cool, man.
Discretely ask the raptor government if, as progenitor of this people, I am allowed to go off on an adventure, or if I have responsibilities.
Destroy environment.
"If you can't join them... beat them!"
Blast MaximumZero until he(?) stops moving. Why would you attack me, anyway?
Uneventful. Good.
Develop space-potatoes.
"Please get off. I need to get ready for school."
Kyle says hoping she doesn't take that first part as an invitation to... *ahem*.
Launch volleys of space-potatoes at nearby star systems."This is a message from the Raptor government and the Creator. We left the Earth to your kind as a reserve, but clearly this was not enough for you. However, we will continue to leave you in peace, so long as you do not interfere with us. The Solar System and Alpha Centauri are ours. We hope that we can coexist peacefully, but be forewarned. Our science is several orders of magnitude ahead of yours. Don't bother us and we won't bother you."
Continue to develop potato-tech, assist mutations with targeted mutations;
Such as limbs for clawing & slashing, tails for choking, paws for grasping bananas...
((Don't make me go on a drinking binge. I'll show you some TRUELY advanced science.))Launch volleys of space-potatoes at nearby star systems."This is a message from the Raptor government and the Creator. We left the Earth to your kind as a reserve, but clearly this was not enough for you. However, we will continue to leave you in peace, so long as you do not interfere with us. The Solar System and Alpha Centauri are ours. We hope that we can coexist peacefully, but be forewarned. Our science is several orders of magnitude ahead of yours. Don't bother us and we won't bother you."
Continue to develop potato-tech, assist mutations with targeted mutations;
Such as limbs for clawing & slashing, tails for choking, paws for grasping bananas...
(Was talking to the potatoes. Whose conquest of the earth has for some reason not had any effect on Japan.)((Don't make me go on a drinking binge. I'll show you some TRUELY advanced science.))Launch volleys of space-potatoes at nearby star systems."This is a message from the Raptor government and the Creator. We left the Earth to your kind as a reserve, but clearly this was not enough for you. However, we will continue to leave you in peace, so long as you do not interfere with us. The Solar System and Alpha Centauri are ours. We hope that we can coexist peacefully, but be forewarned. Our science is several orders of magnitude ahead of yours. Don't bother us and we won't bother you."
Continue to develop potato-tech, assist mutations with targeted mutations;
Such as limbs for clawing & slashing, tails for choking, paws for grasping bananas...
((They are intimidated by my strength. Well, my soon to be strength as my powers were drained.))(Was talking to the potatoes. Whose conquest of the earth has for some reason not had any effect on Japan.)((Don't make me go on a drinking binge. I'll show you some TRUELY advanced science.))Launch volleys of space-potatoes at nearby star systems."This is a message from the Raptor government and the Creator. We left the Earth to your kind as a reserve, but clearly this was not enough for you. However, we will continue to leave you in peace, so long as you do not interfere with us. The Solar System and Alpha Centauri are ours. We hope that we can coexist peacefully, but be forewarned. Our science is several orders of magnitude ahead of yours. Don't bother us and we won't bother you."
Continue to develop potato-tech, assist mutations with targeted mutations;
Such as limbs for clawing & slashing, tails for choking, paws for grasping bananas...
Abandon this clearly superior, truly badass countryled by a total fuckwitted dickheadBad Connor, keep opinions OUT of Bay12 and attack North Korea.
"Did you both know that...?"
I point back to the room where I was being used as a teddy bear.
Launch volleys of space-potatoes at nearby star systems.
Continue to develop potato-tech, assist mutations with targeted mutations;
Such as limbs for clawing & slashing, tails for choking, paws for grasping bananas...
Slowly become more political, become major factor in Raptor politics.
DETONATE EARTH'S CORE
Have a me from the future come save the day. Then, recharge energy and go save the day in the past. It's not a paradox, it's a stable time loop!
((Be aware that several timelines are on their own universes.))Might be a good idea to point out which is where and when, then.
Launch volleys of space-potatoes at nearby star systems."This is a message from the Raptor government and the Creator. We left the Earth to your kind as a reserve, but clearly this was not enough for you. However, we will continue to leave you in peace, so long as you do not interfere with us. The Solar System and Alpha Centauri are ours. We hope that we can coexist peacefully, but be forewarned. Our science is several orders of magnitude ahead of yours. Don't bother us and we won't bother you."
Continue to develop potato-tech, assist mutations with targeted mutations;
Such as limbs for clawing & slashing, tails for choking, paws for grasping bananas...
What kind of potato?Launch volleys of space-potatoes at nearby star systems."This is a message from the Raptor government and the Creator. We left the Earth to your kind as a reserve, but clearly this was not enough for you. However, we will continue to leave you in peace, so long as you do not interfere with us. The Solar System and Alpha Centauri are ours. We hope that we can coexist peacefully, but be forewarned. Our science is several orders of magnitude ahead of yours. Don't bother us and we won't bother you."
Continue to develop potato-tech, assist mutations with targeted mutations;
Such as limbs for clawing & slashing, tails for choking, paws for grasping bananas...
...Send them a potato.
What kind of potato?:D
That doesn't really answer the question. Is it a peaceful potato? Or an aggressive potato?What kind of potato?:D
:DThat doesn't really answer the question. Is it a peaceful potato? Or an aggressive potato?What kind of potato?:D
Mouse over the smile, and I think you'll get the answer.:DThat doesn't really answer the question. Is it a peaceful potato? Or an aggressive potato?What kind of potato?:D
ONE MORE TIMEAGAIN"This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Do this again
TURN ALL OF THE GM'S POTATOS INTO VODKA
I will not fail
Slowly expand my political base of power, promoting a policy of trade, prosperity for all, and Traditional ValuesTM.Their culture is less than a year old, their species only has 1 generation so far. Raptorial values might be more convincing.
Embrace that move, show HugoLuman my full support in his wise decision. See to it that the colony becomes the stepping stone for Raptor expansion, thus earning me a lasting place in their history books.Slowly expand my political base of power, promoting a policy of trade, prosperity for all, and Traditional ValuesTM.Send Helgoland's orbital colony to Proxima Centauri, to be a strategic outpost on the edge of this star system and a staging point for interstellar exploration.
...Send them a potato.
-e
Also, put this on hold until humans have been pacified again.
Mutate and/or forcibly remove human anti-potato tech.
Go about getting ready for school. Try not to peak at the cat fight.
Be the very best dapper dinosaur. Like no one ever was.[5]
Dimension Gate out of there and back onto earth, then ZA WARUDO
ONE MORE TIMEAGAIN"This is it!!!!!!!! YOU BRING ANIME INTO THIS, IT IS TO JAPANY FOR MY TAISTS. IT IS ONLY GOOD FOR MASTURBASION. NOW HOW YOU LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH YOUR PRESIOUS STUFF!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Do this again
TURN ALL OF THE GM'S POTATOS INTO VODKA
I will not fail
Slowly expand my political base of power, promoting a policy of trade, prosperity for all, and Traditional ValuesTM.Their culture is less than a year old, their species only has 1 generation so far. Raptorial values might be more convincing.
Send Helgoland's orbital colony to Proxima Centauri, to be a strategic outpost on the edge of this star system and a staging point for interstellar exploration.
*Arrives in a puff of logic*
Think deeply about what to do, then roll for anal circumference.
Screech angrily and open a rift to who-fucking-knows-where.
Use my power to raise an army!
Embrace that move, show HugoLuman my full support in his wise decision. See to it that the colony becomes the stepping stone for Raptor expansion, thus earning me a lasting place in their history books.Slowly expand my political base of power, promoting a policy of trade, prosperity for all, and Traditional ValuesTM.Send Helgoland's orbital colony to Proxima Centauri, to be a strategic outpost on the edge of this star system and a staging point for interstellar exploration.
Sigh. Just leave and go somewhere safe. Recharge energy. Research a way to use psionics to tear holes in time in addition to space.
You can't break time without breaking reality in this sucky universe.Bu-but...the Drunk Scientists... I technically probably could just break a few facets of reality and rebuild them from scratch with my massive powers, but the risk of rolling a one and getting one-dimensioned or worse is too high. This does mean, though, that all that time I spent thinking of ways to abuse time control to my advantage without causing a timey-wimey was for nothing.
((Then it's probably going to land on you, and the money's on them landing on you in a compromising position.))((Aw yeah.))
TELEKINETICALLY PREPARE THE CHEESE INTO A MASTERFUL PLATTER!
Duck.
You can't break time without breaking reality in this sucky universe.Bu-but...the Drunk Scientists... I technically probably could just break a few facets of reality and rebuild them from scratch with my massive powers, but the risk of rolling a one and getting one-dimensioned or worse is too high. This does mean, though, that all that time I spent thinking of ways to abuse time control to my advantage without causing a timey-wimey was for nothing.
Meditate on the rhytm of the universe. Be enlightened. Create the unit for the speed of time. The speed of time currently unitless because second/second = 1
You find it. It is potatoes/m2The more I try to make sense of this, the less it does, and the more it does. Apparently I just proved time to be two-dimensional instead of one. This is great, as it makes time travel simpler, by paradoxically making time more complex. As I understand it, this means I can use potatoes as a base for a time "machine".
hehehehehehehheheheh
Be careful, they bite.You find it. It is potatoes/m2The more I try to make sense of this, the less it does, and the more it does. Apparently I just proved time to be two-dimensional instead of one. This is great, as it makes time travel simpler, by paradoxically making time more complex. As I understand it, this means I can use potatoes as a base for a time "machine".
hehehehehehehheheheh
Pick some of the conveniently taken-over-the-world potatoes and lay them out in a pattern to maximize covered area. Focus psionic energy into potatoes. Stabilize time from warping too much. Absorb time control powers. I can think a thousand ways this might go wrong, but I must try this out.
Be careful, they bite.I'm pretty my action resolves with a single roll, so I am risking much more than being bitten by a potato. Such as breaking time and destroying this particular 'verse. Besides, sentient mutant potatoes can probably store more psionic energy without exploding than regular ones, increasing the power I might gain.
Start expanding the Raptorial Space Empire. Avoid direct confrontation with potatoes while slowly pushing back their sphere of influence.They failed the roll to get into space.
Search the Multiverse for such a wheel.
"Fuck that, I'll get ssssomeone elsssse to do it."
You find it. It is potatoes/m2The more I try to make sense of this, the less it does, and the more it does. Apparently I just proved time to be two-dimensional instead of one. This is great, as it makes time travel simpler, by paradoxically making time more complex. As I understand it, this means I can use potatoes as a base for a time "machine".
hehehehehehehheheheh
Pick some of the conveniently taken-over-the-world potatoes and lay them out in a pattern to maximize covered area. Focus psionic energy into potatoes. Stabilize time from warping too much. Absorb time control powers. I can think a thousand ways this might go wrong, but I must try this out.
Build a dapper tomb for my dapper dead baby terror bird
ACCUSE GM OF CHEATING WITH MY ROLLS SINCE HE DOES NOT WANT HIS POTATOES BECOMING VODKA
Continue War of Human Pacification. Mutations & tech are a bonus.
GET HER OFF... And don't look. That'll only get me beaten more.
Prepare a pot of mashed potatoes while in the potato dimension.
Start expanding the Raptorial Space Empire. Avoid direct confrontation with potatoes while slowly pushing back their sphere of influence.
Unfreeze myself. Assasinate the CEO fo some big company and take his place.
Conquer the world!
Create a violin. Perform 'I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL' on it in a dapper manner.
Poison the mashed potatoes so that when the denizens eat it they'll die.
Find out the nature of these aliens.
...
RUNNING AWAY NOW!
Establish trade relations with those aliens. Cooperate militarily.
OH THANK GOD! I'd rather fight a monster than have to deal with more of that.(then it's time to fight, boy)
There are aliens? KILL THEM ALL!!!!
Return cheese wheel to GM's cheese room. Apologise again for the whole MetaGM thing
Focus deeper. Gain control of situation. Absorb more time control power. Call future self to help in stabilizing the rift. Go help past self stabilize the rift. Let's try a time loop again, maybe it'll work. I'm not even sure if I'm being insane or the smartest person ever here, finding a way to possibly control time and actually attempting it. Maybe both.
Also, my apologies to the other players, but I may have ruined the game in just two turns.
Then help fix the game.I already set my action to saving the 'verse. The embarrassing thing, though, is that both I and my character were sober when doing this.DrunkScience shall preserve us all!
Then help fix the game.I already set my action to saving the 'verse. The embarrassing thing, though, is that both I and my character were sober when doing this.DrunkScience shall preserve us all!
The odds of the world being saved are pretty good, by the way: The chance of getting a specific face on at least one of 3 dice rolls is around 42.5%, and both a 4 and a 5 save us, possibly even a 3 or a 6. The algorithm for calculating our odds escapes my memory at the moment, but I'd estimate this a safe bet. (Cue triple Epic Fail.)
Multiply the effects by two; I'm saving the 'verse as well.The "three dice rolls" I counted in my analysis were mine, yours and Erils'.
Multiply the effects by two; I'm saving the 'verse as well.The "three dice rolls" I counted in my analysis were mine, yours and Erils'.
Then help fix the game.I already set my action to saving the 'verse. The embarrassing thing, though, is that both I and my character were sober when doing this.DrunkScience shall preserve us all!
The odds of the world being saved are pretty good, by the way: The chance of landing a specific face on at least one of 3 dice rolls is around 42.5%, and both a 4 and a 5 save us, possibly even a 3 or a 6. The algorithm for calculating our odds escapes my memory at the moment, but I'd estimate this a safe bet. (Cue triple Epic Fail.)
Don't forget that, though the odds of at least one of us getting a good roll is high, the odds of at least one of us getting a bad roll is also quite high. Even if one of us gets a 5, if the other two get 1 and he averages (or does something) the results probably won't be good, but better than if we all get 1.I think the question here is whether he would allow a single person to force a reset on the whole game in just 3 turns, and by accident at that. I'd say the answer is no, and we get infinite rerolls granted by the Ultraversal Council or something if we all roll poorly.
Build trans-dimensional antenna to identify multi-dimensional secret groups operating in this galaxy.
Escape on my raptor, all the while praying for the Ultraversal Council to save this 'verse from metaphysical destruction. There's little I can do, but maybe, just maybe, there's someone else who doesn't want the 'verse to be destroyed.
Also, my apologies to the other players, but I may have ruined the game in just two turns.
Save the aforementioned 'verse from metaphysical destruction as a final apology.
Then that universe MUST be saved!!!(cause groupwork, I averaged them up. That means working in groups greatly increases your power, a feature from back in the days when everyone was trying to kill each other. I'll just warp in a billion omni-avatars if you ninnys get out of hand.)
Led a dapper legion of dapper volunteers bearing tea to dapperly save the universe
This is unacceptable.
Recruit mr. avatar, mutate flame resistance.
Unfreeze myself. Give the Potatos large, muscular bodies in exchange for their servitude.
That was a three roll. This might suck balls.
Transsynthesise reality burn into metaphysical ability.Spoiler: Such as Temporal Burn! (click to show/hide)
Polymorph back to my old state, then grant powers to GrizzlyAdams and his potatos in exchange for their servitude.
Mutate Hivemind Chocolate Production. The chocolate bar is to have it's quality & frequency of release based upon the number of living potato plants in the swarm.
Drag myself to the next class.
Hm, must need more potatos.
Grow more potatos.
Roll for the powers you grant sir paladin, 5 is bestest powers & 33%. 4 is moderate powers & 22%. 3 is slight powers & 11%. I'll leave 6 & 1 to our RNG overlord.
Dub disease 'Cyrydiad'. Adapt Cyrydiad into venom and immune system.
Find something to do that has absolutely no chance of breaking any 'verses.
Goroesi... y... llygredd! (Survive... the... corruption!)
Mutate, grow.
ROLL FOR POWER
1.......Grant the Potato hivemind the power of being fragile enough to die from a stiff breeze, and stupid enough to eat blatantly poisonous food.
Ignore stares and go about work.
*sigh* Stabilize the rift into a permanent portal. At least I won't have to open a new rift every time if I succeed this turn.
"I suppose it couldn't hurt..."
Shove KJ and his weird japanese harem through the SC2 portal, then seal it behind them.
Cymathu ei. Dysgwch sut i reoli. Ailosod yr ymennydd yn ôl i'r Saesneg yn lle Cymraeg. (Assimilate it. Learn to control it. Reset brain back to English instead of Welsh.)
Mutate, grow.
[1]
Humans develop super-potato disease! Shieeeet!
Mutate, grow.
[1]
Humans develop super-potato disease! Shieeeet!
Hm. They want to play it that way huh?
Develop Potato virus. As in a virus that is also potato. Use it to cull the wretched humans.
The Irish would like to point out that you don't have to do anything for the culling.
Time for gunboat diplomacy - ally with the potatoes, then pound those aliens into... the ground, I guess.I can give you backup....but only if give me a favor in return.
Can I get some backup on this?
What sort of favor? There's bound to be some interesting positions in the occupational government...Time for gunboat diplomacy - ally with the potatoes, then pound those aliens into... the ground, I guess.I can give you backup....but only if give me a favor in return.
Can I get some backup on this?
Just to be sure, we're talking about the extra-dimensional invaders, right?What sort of favor? There's bound to be some interesting positions in the occupational government...Time for gunboat diplomacy - ally with the potatoes, then pound those aliens into... the ground, I guess.I can give you backup....but only if give me a favor in return.
Can I get some backup on this?
Hitchhiker's Guide?Yep.
"I might have something to do right school, maybe a bit later than that?"
Gather umbrapyromantic energy to fully recover.
Come on, you close my portal not two turns after it's created? I specified permanent portal, you crummy RNG, not even following instructions.
Go on an adventure. One that won't destroy the ultraverse.
PLANE SHIFT TO THE PLANE OF SERVANTS
Mutate, grow.
[1]
Humans develop super-potato disease! Shieeeet!
Hm. They want to play it that way huh?
Develop Potato virus. As in a virus that is also potato. Use it to cull the wretched humans.
Time for gunboat diplomacy - ally with the potatoes, then pound those aliens into... the ground, I guess.
Can I get some backup on this?
Just to be sure, we're talking about the extra-dimensional invaders, right?What sort of favor? There's bound to be some interesting positions in the occupational government...Time for gunboat diplomacy - ally with the potatoes, then pound those aliens into... the ground, I guess.I can give you backup....but only if give me a favor in return.
Can I get some backup on this?
If so, fire missiles at right angles from reality (bonus points to whoever gets that reference)
Lead dapper legion in defense of the Universe against extra-dimensional invaders
Hitchhiker's Guide?
Set up a central command for the Allied forces. Secure high positions for me and my followers.
You join in the universal defense legion. Time to go to war.I'm in dire need of exposition.
You join in the universal defense legion. Time to go to war.I'm in dire need of exposition.
Develop new Raptor battle armor and inter-dimensional weaponry.
Wonder who I was talking to. Also recall any bits of my life that may be impprtant later.
Sacrifice harvesters to overlord.
Potato mutations.
I got plan, see
Capture some good, AMERICAN Pokemon. Since there is no AMERICA here, I will go to the next best thing, Unova
Learn the art of not having to roll for easy actions.
Start research into closing portals. Build up reputation as war hero.
Do some research into the possible uses of applied reality burn.
As the potatoes are conveniently covering the world, create a rift out of them.NO!
Open and stabilize a rift and go rally the Protoss to join the war.
Are they possible side effects or definite side effects? Because I will NOT be a stoned snake.
Do more research on the subject.
I guess I owe it to them, anyway. Go see what the situation on Aiur is.
Help the protoss and teach them dapperness
Veto that horrible rule.Restrain KJ and his japanese harem and sacrifice them to the overlord.
Closed universe. Plus there's a GM avatar with some snazzy upgrades overwatching that world. All multiversal entities entering that solar system get destroyed. With antimatter, so they stay destroyed.
Veto that horrible rule.Restrain KJ and his japanese harem and sacrifice them to the overlord.
Closed universe. Plus there's a GM avatar with some snazzy upgrades overwatching that world. All multiversal entities entering that solar system get destroyed. With antimatter, so they stay destroyed.
Veto that horrible rule.Restrain KJ and his japanese harem and sacrifice them to the overlord.
Closed universe. Plus there's a GM avatar with some snazzy upgrades overwatching that world. All multiversal entities entering that solar system get destroyed. With antimatter, so they stay destroyed.
^
^ that roll.
Be the first poster on page 100 yay :D
Plug the portals with comically oversized bath ducks.
Take the fight to the Harvester dimension, Gordon Freeman style.
Psionic Storms galore. Is my raptor-mount faster than the Zerg?
Focus my psionic energy into a bolt of chain lightning. Try to fry at least a 50 billion of them with the bolt.
Toy ships, then.
Be upset over my sudden lack of characterization.
Ugh. Let's go.
Woo, fights.
Mutate the potato virus. Give it constant minor mutations a la 'The Stand'.
The humans went too far.
LET'S GO! LEERRRROOOOOOY JENNNNKIIINNNS!
Kindly ask the supertea to mind their own business. Engage in diplomacy- reassure them we only mean to put an end to the human's unprovoked persecution, offer to let them act as /neutral/ arbitrators atpotato campsdesignated human reserves, let the humans peaceably *disarm & leave if they don't want to disarm & agree to terms.
Drop top hats and tea for the zerg from orbit. Once they assimilate it, they too will become dapper and want nothing more than a nice cup of tea.
Also
Distribute supertea to humans in exchange for them adopting the dapper way
Reveal our nuclear potato technology. Mimic recent potato-portal technology we witnessed, open portal to potato dimension.
Go beat up stragglers.
Politely convince the Zerg to leave the planet, preferably after Erils has tried to make them gentlezerg.
Hook up a vacuum to draw potatoes out of the potato dimension. Use them as reinforcements.
Mutate shape-shifting capability.
TELEPORT AWAY
CURSE GM
SUMMON THE PARACELSUS SWORD AND IT'S CREW TO EARTH
Be a badass.
Attempt to isolate rare side effect.
Gain ability to infect other living organisms and convert their cells into potato cells, maintaining their appearance and recovering their memories.
Adfer fy meddwl. (Restore my mind.)
Gain ability to infect other living organisms and convert their cells into potato cells, maintaining their appearance and recovering their memories.
Power down.[5]
Well, that was... not as bad as pretending to be normal. Odd how that is.
So what exactly did that six I got do?
Escape. Travel back in time before I went through the portal.
"I'm sorry, we can speak?"
Sneaky backy.
Find a small lizard and make it gigantic. Also give it firebreath.Have said lizard be my raptor-mount.
Put the Raptor economy into total war mode. Crush the aliens, descending onto their homeworlds like the fiery wrath of their immpotent gods.
Okay, this war has lost its meaning to me, I have no idea what's going on and who is playing what side, or even what the sides are.I think we may already have won. However, a GM recap/clarification is probably in order. Don't roll on that, I just bolded it for emphasis.
"You're... Cyrydiad? But you're also me... maybe...?"
(This is my Spearbreakers canon all over again...)
Wait, my old body turns un-potato?
Hone ability to infect new targets while keeping control of the old.
Oh hey there's a nondescript celebrity over there!
Find a small lizard and make it gigantic. Also give it firebreath.
Find a small lizard and make it gigantic. Also give it firebreath.Have said lizard be my raptor-mount.
Also, I have a carping ~200 000 000 000* strong Zerg brood following me? But I can't control them properly? I might need to do something about it, but not now.
*Or ~200 000 000 000 000 if we use the metric billion instead of the Imperial one, do we?
Put the Raptor economy into total war mode. Crush the aliens, descending onto their homeworlds like the fiery wrath of their immpotent gods.
Put the Raptor economy into total war mode. Crush the aliens, descending onto their homeworlds like the fiery wrath of their immpotent gods.Okay, this war has lost its meaning to me, I have no idea what's going on and who is playing what side, or even what the sides are.I think we may already have won. However, a GM recap/clarification is probably in order. Don't roll on that, I just bolded it for emphasis.
By the way, didn't we keep a kill count on each player a few weeks ago? I think my multiple hundred Zerg get me to first place.
Get better pokemon
Try again
Turn the Raptor into a Tyranosaurus and revive it. Make Icytea Dinosaur Lord as apology.
Pray for divine intervention. I would even welcome Nurgle right now.
I knew this day would come... DETONATE THE DRUNK SCIENCE BOMB!
get even more pokemon
Guerilla tactics. Also negotiation. And nuclear weaponry.
Shoot missiles at any robots I see and look for red flowers.
Ok, hand off reigns of host control to individual biomasses, with only a nominal hive mind tether. Aiming for The Thing/Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
"Ok. So, we're stuck together, and you don't know what I am..."
Describe anatomy to Cyrydiad.
E: Ninja'd. MEEEE!
Active, just sorta couldn't figure out where I was.
Raise the rest of humanity in defiance! I'm tired of these goddamned aliens on my goddamned planet.
Do I count as active?
I've been playing for longer than most people here probably.
Me.
Also, can we get a update on the story so far?
Well, that has to change. Also, still active.By the way, didn't we keep a kill count on each player a few weeks ago? I think my multiple hundred Zerg get me to first place.
No, the winner is Playergamer, with most of the population of Australia and New Zealand under his belt, along with countless Murrican soldiers.
ESCAPE! ALSO DON'T FORGET THAT MY PREVIOUS DRUNK SCIENCE HAS FUCKED UP NEW MEXICO AND THAT THE OLD STRONGEST IS DEAD.
Summon Chzo to crush the Harvester Fleet with his masive size. Also call on my fleet of Pain Elementals to help out the Raptors.
Then create diplomatic alliance beetwen the Potaoes and Humans on earth.
The GM's avatar looks like a platformer protagonist. WELL I AM A PLATFORMER BOSS BATTLE. Huzzah!
Accept the dual
Rebuild. Declare myself first president of the Terran Federation. We will have elections in 10 years.
Fucking /excellent/. That was their weakness in my headcannon anyway- (each individual chunk of sentient biomass has semi-independence. Else the hot-wire trick wouldn't work.)- so it is acceptable.
Begin infections. Slowly & surely. Animals included. Bonus points for an arctic tern (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arctic_Tern).
@paladin
I don't think we'll be having any alliances after the genocide of mypeoplepotatoes.
Well, that has to change. Also, still active.By the way, didn't we keep a kill count on each player a few weeks ago? I think my multiple hundred Zerg get me to first place.
No, the winner is Playergamer, with most of the population of Australia and New Zealand under his belt, along with countless Murrican soldiers.
Check to see where the portal goes. If it's the Harvester-verse, send my Zerg brood in. (Do not enter myself.) Inform the Protoss that Aiur is clear of Zerg.
Earth (starting universe):
After the potato-human war, the humans were victorious, now lead by Playergamer. Grizzlyadams is experimenting with bodysnatching processes. Several players live and play/work in Elephantophis, which is in a golden age at the moment, due to the demand for supertea. A few plots to end the world and gain ridiculous power were made here, only to be thwarted by either terrible luck, teamwork, or the wrath of the GM. Lolfail is dealing with a new personality, darkpaladin and poketwo are being silly, and NAV is stirring up the avatar.
Space (starting universe):
A war has broken out between two multiversal empires, the Chosen and the Harvesters. A mutated species of bird/lizard, dubbed Raptors, created by Hugoluman, have gained sentience and has gone on to start interstellar colonisation, the colonies being lead by helgoland. After contact with the Harvesters, and a brief fight, they have pushed the Harvesters back to one of their processing plants, and the planet it orbits around. This attracted both a Chosen fleet and Harvester reinforcements, and now the stage is set for a big ass battle, with the Protoss (SC2), Raptor and a few superpowered human ships trying to hold their ground in the middle of it.
SC2 universe:
IcyTea has gained psionic powers, and has taken direct control of the Zerg Brood on Aiur, but he is not in full control. Now a superportal has opened in front of him.
Chosen universe, Earth:
Kj1225, through the power of terrible, terrible luck, has been submitted for overwatch duty, which is basically merging into human society while still protecting Earth from invaders. Unfortunately for him, his combat partner and some clingy jealous russian girl are completely smitten with him, though one will never admit it. Hilarity ensues because neither are willing to share,and because I'm a dick.
Attempt to join adventuring party.FTFY. This format has become the standard for this thread. It would be very nice and convenient if you'd use it. I also italicize my OOC thoughts, but nobody else has portrayed them.
Teleport onto one of the harvester ships and kill all it's crew, then take it over. If I suceed, use my new ship to attack more of the harvester fleet. Afterwards attempt to figure out what the weakness of the fleet is.Be careful, some of them are infested with Zerg.
Sketch a picture of me to show Cyrydiad.
Once the suicide mission has wiped out the Zerg, return home. Find a new mount.
ME: * attempt to join adventuring party *
M'k, sounds reasonable. So what did the roll dictate?(As people have said, bolding is good. The roll indicates if what you said happens, with a 5 meaning you succeed even if the odds are outrageous and a one meaning terrible things happen to you.)
battle ASSBUTT
Teleport onto one of the harvester ships and kill all it's crew, then take it over. If I suceed, use my new ship to attack more of the harvester fleet. Afterwards attempt to figure out what the weakness of the fleet is.
Wait for a critical oment, then launch a massive attack. Gain control over all of the Raptor's industries on order to strengthen the war effort.
12 man council, and elections every 5 years. I am chairman.
"Please stop fighting on me..."
Attempt to infect jailors/superhumans.
A potatoperson? Do I infect people by touch or some other process? What do I currently look like?
So, how do I join exactly?You fill out a incredibly long and detailed sheet with long term goals, short term goals, exact appearence, bio, date of birth, birthday, family tree and nationaility and such.
Righto.So, how do I join exactly?You fill out a incredibly long and detailed sheet with long term goals, short term goals, exact appearence, bio, date of birth, birthday, family tree and nationaility and such.
Okay no, I just wanted to do that for kicks. Just say whatever you want to do. That's all there is to it.
Gain the image of a war hero.
Demand daily sacrifices of potatoes for unholy, dapper, dinosaurian purposes.
Pray for something to come help me. I'd even fight an ice giant right now.
I accept. Rebuild earth.
Oh no lasers! My one weakness.
Drop the flowers and fly away from the GM's avatar. Try to find animals.
Get even better pokemon
Righto.So, how do I join exactly?You fill out a incredibly long and detailed sheet with long term goals, short term goals, exact appearence, bio, date of birth, birthday, family tree and nationaility and such.
Okay no, I just wanted to do that for kicks. Just say whatever you want to do. That's all there is to it.
Start in charge of a fleet of Robotech ships in Gundam 00/Seed. Or just start in that universe if the fleet doesn't happen.
Once the economy is mostly fixed, train an army to keep aliens off earth.Enlist Pain Elementals in said army. Also salvage harvester technology and give it to Playergamer and the humans to reverse engineer. Have some Pain Elementals help in the reverse engineering.
OUT THE WINDOW!
Once the economy is mostly fixed, train an army to keep aliens off earth.
Get some gym badges to keep that Charizard under control, don't even think about using him/her in any pokemon battle
Once the economy is mostly fixed, train an army to keep aliens off earth.Enlist Pain Elementals in said army. Also salvage harvester technology and give it to Playergamer and the humans to reverse engineer. Have some Pain Elementals help in the reverse engineering.
Then create a force field around earth to fend off attacks.
Head to Lunar Orbit. Note anything interesting about the area. Also, check what weapons the armoury has.
Survive by tactically retreating in a daring and heroic manner. I said 'image', dammit!
Attempt to share sight with Cyrydiad.
Just act like I'm doing work.
Find the weapons.
So wait, there are other potato men?
Suddenly feel much more comfortable. Make to hold hands, kissy faces.
Consult the other council members on what we should do next.
Useless. Conquer/colonize the moon.Lead the conquering of the moon.
Useless. Conquer/colonize the moon.
"Yep!"
Get some training on, still no charizard
Become (inexplicable) potatoman's pet.
lead the fleet to chase after whoever stole the weapons.
Useless. Conquer/colonize the moon.Lead the conquering of the moon.
Appoint darkpaladin colony governor. Start building vertical farms.
"Hisssss... Do you understand now?"
get some gym badges, do not use Charizard
.......Roll for Anal Circumference. :P
... Please stop.
Isn't there already a Raptor colony on the moon?
Woah, a bunch of people have joined since this morning.
Create the Subtle Knife. Close the portals.
NEGATIVE ANAL CIRCUMFERENCE EH?.......Roll for Anal Circumference. :P
[1]
I'm not going to dignify this with an answer.
That was a good book series, but the ending pissed me off.
NEGATIVE ANAL CIRCUMFERENCE EH?.......Roll for Anal Circumference. :P
[1]
I'm not going to dignify this with an answer.
That was a good book series, but the ending pissed me off.
Make all the harvesters roll for anal circumference. Final time I do this I swear.
I read the series. It was pretty good, and the ending seemed alright to me, if nothing particularly special.
What do you mean? Do you mean to deserve to be a cosmic chew toy on epic levels? I have lived the lives of MILLIONS of the worlds greatest heroes and villains. I've lived the lives of those who were neither. I have removed tumors, assassinated leaders, pulled off betrayals, and lead more people to victory than you could believe. I have seen the worst that the wastes and the world could offer. I HAVE BEEN THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE! AND NOW I AM REDUCED TO THE LEVEL OF SOME RANDOM ASS VOICES LOYAL SOLDIER FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT I WAS JUST A BIT UNLUCKY!
Find the resources.
'Wander off'.
hehe, for a second there I was worried I'd turn into his pet, as in I shapeshift and he already has a pet. Whew.
"...We could get you your own body, maybe. Care to try?"
train even more
ENOUGH OF THIS! RETURN MYSELF TO MY PREVIOUS STATE!
Build a nuclear power plant.
"Maybe... an umbrapyromantic construct... and then we could... transfer you somehow?"
((is GWG in the game?))
Use monkey digits on leash apparatus. E-scAp-eh.
Make an atmos-dome.
Okay.
Bye.
Ride the terrorbird
Begin capturing & vigorously petting birds/cats. Don't protect myself from flies/mosquitoes.
Realize the ongoing terror, runs to stand beside/behind the strongest dwarf so as to not die..
Get the army ready, but try to negotiate first.
Realize this thread did 4 pages and multiple updates without me in one night. Assess own situation.
Attempt to construct an umbrapyromantic replica of my body, ready for Cyrydiad.
Be someone else. Start out in the closest thing resembling a city
Who is now named Terry.
Ingest alcohol, try again.
Check if my portal to here is still open. If yes, go home. If no, open, stabilize rift, go home. Then find a new mount to replace my raptor.
Get revenge on the GM's avatar with my terrorbird. Who is now named Terry.
Immediately start running a scam on the citizen of Alexandria by pretending to be a priest and get their monies
May I waitlist as the One and Only Aikuro Mikisugi?
Go down on the planet, find a suitable place and meditate. Try to meditate a safer way to use the potato-rifts to control time, but relaxing and resting takes priority.
Try to create another body for Cyrydiad, avoiding alcohol at all costs.
Buy all the cats
"Hmm..."
Look around. Put on the glasses, mess up back, otherwise go back to droll teaching mode.
Greet them. Don't show off my psionic abilities. (yet)
Build a catzord mech with the cats
"I wassss drunk! What did you expect?"
Make a better body for him.
Come with me, comrade! Join in rebuilding the glorious Raptor civilization after this devastating war!"Who... me?"
Give the dragon scales made of pressed leaves. Attempt to alleviate hangover.
(Oh my god, I'm gonna love these two)
They sure are insane, seeing random completely ordinary talking bread loaves around and charging them. Mind control: I am just a figment of their imagination. And actually over by that rock, not this one.
Wait...... I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Party cause I won and I don't have to enact this stupid plan anymore
Make everyone on earth except Playergamer drunk, then have them do DRUNK SCIENCE!
Find some clues. Or just loot weapons from any ship wrecks in the way to the moon. Also find out what universe I am in.
"How on earth did the armouries weapons get stolen?"
Become the Raptor's Deng Xiaoping; expand colonial empire.
Hmm. Secure catfood. Bite finger, bleed into catfood a little. Plant catfood where it will get et.
(Even mosquitoes n shit know?! D: hax!)
Oooh, 'kay. Destroy the potatoes!
I let you win that time! I will be back.
Fly away with Terry, to the top of some mountain somewhere. Begin training.
((It would be cool to have a status...thing.))
Wheel-glide in. Scoop up Playergamer and set him on my shoulder. Fire high-explosive shells at potatos while strafing around them and keeping Playergamer in range for black magic.
"Huh... What?"
Look around. Are the people around me wearing clothes? AM I SAFE HERE?
Create a means to reconstitute the human and raptor races in the event of extinction.
Train dodger by running out in front of any creature that is firing projectiles.
Make everyone on earth except Playergamer drunk, then have them do DRUNK SCIENCE!HOORAY
((Hey GM, is playergamer riding me or what?))
((ok. just pretend he was never there I guess))((Hey GM, is playergamer riding me or what?))
((I believe he /was/. But getting re-elected & working with the committee might not jive well with desert mech fun..))
Make everyone on earth except Playergamer drunk, then have them do DRUNK SCIENCE!HOORAY
DO THIS AGAIN
If I get another six this is gonna turn into the W40K universe isn't it
Aikuro looked around. There was nothing suspicious here, as far as he could tell, apart from the potato people. But, better be safe than sorry. Those potato people could be her spies.
Somersault to cover. Activate radio headset.
"Then let's go find it. And then kill it if need be.
Go visit the meat dragon and ask for weapons back.
Be reelected. Try to get actual ideas from the less idiotic committee.
Crap.
Remember am no longer an actual potato, not everything needs to be buried.
Hide in dumpster, grab stray cats that go foraging.
Go to playergamer's earth, live there
Steal peoples hats. Maybe Tavik or Playergamer.
((Hey GM, is playergamer riding me or what?))
Wheel-glide to the desert. Call other mechas to join me.
(HOLY FUCK HOW DRUNK WAS I!!?)
Alleviate hangover. Follow Cyrydiad.
Okay, win the war first, then.
Of course I mean you! Now hurry, we've got an empire to defend!
(Hehe, even if the harvester war is over, earth is now besieged by tyranids, orkz, greece, & the GM.)The Raptors weren't based on Earth.
Regurgitate/expel alcohol, alleviate hangover, follow Cyrydiad.
Ooh! Even better! Don jetpack. Jet around in search of moon base.
It must be my smell- must not have gotten monkey-smell right. Or we got it too-right. Either way, smother myself in garbage. Stuff it in my ears, chew on it, rub it under my fingernails, cake every square inch of my fur.
There will be no more Thing smell.
If war is over: Memorialize the fallen, rebuild.
If not: Avenge the fallen, win the war.
Equip the hat. GM's avatar's hat must have some powerful bonuses.
Fly away, for I have gotten my revenge. Huzzah! Bring Terry as always.
Chain Lightning! Position it so that it seems to come from the illusion.
It must be my smell- must not have gotten monkey-smell right. Or we got it too-right. Either way, smother myself in garbage. Stuff it in my ears, chew on it, rub it under my fingernails, cake every square inch of my fur.
There will be no more Thing smell.
[6]
You're in a biohazard bin. This explains why no cats came nearby. You also realise you've injected yourself with hundreds of different things, and smeared biohazards all over yourself. Pain countdown in 3... 2... 1...
Blerghergherghergherg.
EvolveGood luck.
Cast multiple Psionic Storms to cover them all. Again, keep hiding.
Take all survivors to somewhere far away, safe.
Blerghergherghergherg.
"Owwww"
Decide to sell the cats at double their price by scamming the citizen into worshiping cats or something
Offer tea and dapperness to surviving humans and drop more dapperness inducers into the zerg lines. After that, purge all who have refused the dapper way. FIRE THE MONOCLE LASER!
Oh no!
Shoot missiles at everyone.
Evolve
Now work on my image as war hero and great patriot.
Come up with a brilliant war plan to defeat one of them. Not all of them.
(While you were writing twenty new replies have been posted...)
Create atomic potato, throw at enemies.
Locate body of water for cleaning self &/or infecting.
Obtain new weapons then head off for Gundam Seed Earth regardless.
tell the tyranids to go attack the moon or something as I'm not interested in fighting them at the moment.
Cast Homicide on the Tyranids.
Damn, I need better rolls...
Expand the Raptor empire, using the resources and manpower freed by ending the war.
Climb out of medical waste bin.
"Oh crap"
Jump town
Have the army search earth for the remote.((heh, a risky gambit, considering the other forces ravaging the surface..You'd get /so/ impeached if it fails.))
Well, Raptors ain't human.Besides, I thought it was a paranoid empire, and we established trade with them.
Commision giant statue to commemorate my achievements.
..!!!SCIENCE!!!
Too many? Too many missiles you mean!
Shoot like 100000 missiles at all the orcs and the GM's avatar.
Attack Moon men inside the Moon base.
Well, Raptors ain't human.
Commision giant statue to commemorate my achievements.
Have the army search earth for the remote.
Enter again. Hopefully with a dynamic entry.
Follow Cyrydiad. Apologise for drunken antics.
Well, Raptors ain't human.Besides, I thought it was a paranoid empire, and we established trade with them.
Commision giant statue to commemorate my achievements.
Create Crypt-Mainframe, a repository to lay to rest the minds of fallen raptors, so future generations my learn from their wisdom.
"Huh... I guess I'll just lay low until I can get an extraction."
Go and work at a school as a teacher. Await extraction.
..!!!SCIENCE!!!
[2]
No, ODing on drugs.
Have The Cavalry arrive, whether it's a me from an alternate universe, the Khalai or something completely crazy.
Your a loaf of bread you have no say in this.A psionic loaf of bread powerful enough to destroy reality itself. By accident. I just happened to lose all my
Make a new body for him out of METASTABLE UMBRAPYROMANTIC ENERGY. Present it to him as an apology.
(My character is FUCKED. UP. WHY ORPHANS?)
I'm joining in late can someone bring me up to speed?
My avatar is Silas greaves,western bounty hunter.
Skilled at old fashioned weapons in general,weapon skills are shotguns,duel pistols,single pistol,rifle,and dynamite.
(Go play Call of juarez gunslinger he can use all those weapons.)
Ask for plz send help. Start HADOKENing.
Go on a quest to become the STRONGEST!
..!!!SCIENCE!!!
[2]
No, ODing on drugs.
I beg you'll reconsider.
Find out what the Raptors truly think of Helgoland.
Run away and steal Tavik's hat.
Check the radio again. Is help coming?
Have The Cavalry arrive, whether it's a me from an alternate universe, the Khalai or something completely crazy.
"Uhh... Cyrydiad?"
Fly as fast as possible away from the Orks, grabbing Cyrydiad in tentacles.
Stay out of the imminent beatdown. Recharge my energy. So, I summoned the GM itself, not an avatar? That's...a problem.
Challenge billy the kid to a duel, 1- to rolls since it's billy the kid.
(High-five blazing glory for the synchronised posts!)*starts bending the story about high-fiving Lolfail0009*
Shoot Hydralisk even though I don't know what it is and it's probably really dangerous,use shotgun!
Thinking whether I should demand a 1+ bonus to my rolls because Silas Greaves tended to bend the story and change details,so assuming if Silas Greaves is telling a story about this crazy universe...
Shoot Hydralisk even though I don't know what it is and it's probably really dangerous,use shotgun!
Thinking whether I should demand a 1+ bonus to my rolls because Silas Greaves tended to bend the story and change details,so assuming if Silas Greaves is telling a story about this crazy universe...
((A hydralisk is a 3 metre tall Zerg monster, with a head covered in armored plates and the ability to send poisoned, serrated spines flying at fast speeds through the air at fleshy targets. As for bending the story, the GM is bending him.))
Shoot Hydralisk even though I don't know what it is and it's probably really dangerous,use shotgun!
Thinking whether I should demand a 1+ bonus to my rolls because Silas Greaves tended to bend the story and change details,so assuming if Silas Greaves is telling a story about this crazy universe...
((A hydralisk is a 3 metre tall Zerg monster, with a head covered in armored plates and the ability to send poisoned, serrated spines flying at fast speeds through the air at fleshy targets. As for bending the story, the GM is bending him.))
Ok forget the shotgun I duel wield sawn-off shotguns!
Shoot Hydralisk even though I don't know what it is and it's probably really dangerous,use shotgun!
Thinking whether I should demand a 1+ bonus to my rolls because Silas Greaves tended to bend the story and change details,so assuming if Silas Greaves is telling a story about this crazy universe...
((A hydralisk is a 3 metre tall Zerg monster, with a head covered in armored plates and the ability to send poisoned, serrated spines flying at fast speeds through the air at fleshy targets. As for bending the story, the GM is bending him.))
Ok forget the shotgun I duel wield sawn-off shotguns!
Calm down, Rico.
Ok forget the shotgun I duel wield sawn-off shotguns!
Calm down, Rico.
Well you can do it in call of juarez gunslinger! admitably you need to unlock a special skill first but you can do it!
Ok forget the shotgun I duel wield sawn-off shotguns!
Calm down, Rico.
Well you can do it in call of juarez gunslinger! admitably you need to unlock a special skill first but you can do it!
And you can do it right off the bat in Just Cause 2. Same with the gatling gun.
Ok forget the shotgun I duel wield sawn-off shotguns!
Calm down, Rico.
Well you can do it in call of juarez gunslinger! admitably you need to unlock a special skill first but you can do it!
And you can do it right off the bat in Just Cause 2. Same with the gatling gun.
Yeah but in JC2 sawn-offs are really useless,there's this other skill that allows you to shoot all the time without having to reload in concentration (Slow-mo pretty much) shotguns in CoJ gunslinger only sport 2 catridges,imagine shooting 2 sawn-offs for half a minute without having to reload...
Ok forget the shotgun I duel wield sawn-off shotguns!
Calm down, Rico.
Well you can do it in call of juarez gunslinger! admitably you need to unlock a special skill first but you can do it!
And you can do it right off the bat in Just Cause 2. Same with the gatling gun.
Yeah but in JC2 sawn-offs are really useless,there's this other skill that allows you to shoot all the time without having to reload in concentration (Slow-mo pretty much) shotguns in CoJ gunslinger only sport 2 catridges,imagine shooting 2 sawn-offs for half a minute without having to reload...
I believe this is what is called a "derail". Back to the topic at hand?
Hey, I called for help, not you in particular! You didn't have to come and save me.
There must be some way to portray cowardice as strategic genius...
((Not really, he just threw juiced-up avatars at the surface before. He's here in his true, full and terrible power now.))
Open a rift to the top of Uluru.
Shoot Hydralisk even though I don't know what it is and it's probably really dangerous,use shotgun!duel wield sawn-off shotguns,if not allowed then use a rifle.
Thinking whether I should demand a 1+ bonus to my rolls because Silas Greaves tended to bend the story and change details,so assuming if Silas Greaves is telling a story about this crazy universe...
Helgoland, I pledge my butt laser to serve your Empire!
Pretend I'm the GM. Roll 6es for myself.
Did someone say... INSURGENT TROUBLE SHOOTERS? Chalenge the leader to a duel!
Psionically search the minds of every living thing for any information regarding the remote. Hey, I called for help, not you in particular! You didn't have to come and save me.
Work on my effing image! There must be some way to portray cowardice as strategic genius...
Oh right, that post - In the course of working on my image, conquer some pushover civilizations. With butt lasers.[1]
Find body of water. Submerge self to clean, and short circuit/disrupt nano machine communications.
Convince the tyranids to go retrieve my hat and kill NAV.
"If you do that, I won't try to stop you attacking Earth. Deal?"
Wait for some wannabe racers to Challenge me on my custom track.
Am I still wearing the GM's hat?
Give Tavik's hat to Terry.
Steal Playergamer's hat.
Find place. Use fashion sense.
Kill NAV. Try to ask the GM to please not kill me, since I was the first player.
Try to get involved with the main plot.
Keep shooting at it with my 2 sawn-offs
Shut the rift. Incinerate the Orks.
Try to get involved with the main plot.
I must have a homing beacon implanted in my body. Shapeshift it o
On second thought, it's all-too-easy for that homing beacon to be an IFF signal as well.Roll for a nearby EMP from the on-going BATTLEFIELD:EARTH going on overhead taking out the nanobots.
Attempt to communicate with nanobot swarm.
look under the couch in the pentagon's secret bunker
Rebuild the military
The GM gave this job directly to me, serves you right.look under the couch in the pentagon's secret bunker
[3]
And you're held up at the gates.
Cut and run.
"Ok, you fluffy headache. We're apparently being hunted, and you're useless as a llama, so I'm going to make you a body OUT OF THE METAL THESE MONSTERS CARRY and a touch of umbrapyromancy, then you are going to get in it, then we are going to work together to survive. Capiche?"
Construct metal/metastable energy replica of my body for Cyrydiad.
Run to the pentagon. Smash through the wall. smash through all the walls on the way to the remote. Retrieve remote. Smash through all the walls on the way outside. Give remote to Poketwo.
The GM gave this job directly to me, serves you right.look under the couch in the pentagon's secret bunker
[3]
And you're held up at the gates.
Get a mount, preferably a combat-worthy one, head for the Pentagon.
Also, still active.
Realize I programmed them, therefore I must know ancient Demonic Assyrian.
This thread keeps updating faster than I can check it.
Attempt to figure out what is going on right now
Make own back up.
Use my button-potato cannon to make a killing in the french fries business.
Active.
Gang up on the orks with other players. I'll show them who's a tryhard...
EDIT: Also cooperate with Sheb to corner the French Fries market in the Raptor empire.
active
Get into pentagon bunker
Still running.
ACTIVE!
Shoot the tyranids then leave for Gundam Seed. NOW.
>Weapons
"For Wadjet'sss sssake, Cyrydiad, I was DRUNK IN THE NAME OF SSSCIENCE!"
Figure out why the Orks were chasing us.
Find out what point in the series I am at. Also have a status page for character.
"For Wadjet'sss sssake, Cyrydiad, I was DRUNK IN THE NAME OF SSSCIENCE!"
Figure out why the Orks were chasing us.
Orks kill shit cause it's fun. That, and they gain power from war.Find out what point in the series I am at. Also have a status page for character.
Before anything happens. Without spoiling anything that will happen. So yeah.
Also, the thread can pretty much be summed up by this piece of music. (https://soundcloud.com/travislien/song-of-storms)
@Tavik: Second episode. I only just started watching.I plan to derail the plot as soon as possible. Or something.QuoteAlso, the thread can pretty much be summed up by this piece of music. (https://soundcloud.com/travislien/song-of-storms)
Yes, it can.
@Tavik: Second episode. I only just started watching.I plan to derail the plot as soon as possible. Or something.QuoteAlso, the thread can pretty much be summed up by this piece of music. (https://soundcloud.com/travislien/song-of-storms)
Yes, it can.
@Tavik: Second episode. I only just started watching.QuoteAlso, the thread can pretty much be summed up by this piece of music. (https://soundcloud.com/travislien/song-of-storms)
Yes, it can.
I plan to derail the plot as soon as possible. Or something.
Pfft. What plot?
The plot of gundam seed. What little there is anyway.@Tavik: Second episode. I only just started watching.I plan to derail the plot as soon as possible. Or something.QuoteAlso, the thread can pretty much be summed up by this piece of music. (https://soundcloud.com/travislien/song-of-storms)
Yes, it can.
Pfft. What plot?
Lego:Remember, only pick up green and white bricks. The teleport is the only useful power on that track (unless you use the cannon to open the secret passage)
Accept the scrub's challenge, beat him on his own track!
>POTATO
Find out what point in the series I am at. Also have a status page for character.
Before anything happens. Without spoiling anything that will happen. So yeah.
((What point are you at?))
Head to Heliopolis on a heading that won't get the fleet shot at. Also find put how many ships I have.
"...Did you hear that? Follow me, I sssmell prey..."
Searches for mysterious-yet-informative voice's source.
Also, the thread can pretty much be summed up by this piece of music. (https://soundcloud.com/travislien/song-of-storms)
Challenge the knight to a race on my custom racetrack.
Use the revenues from my french fries empire to lobby the Raptor Empire into breaking the quarantine and dealing with all the stuff rampaging around Earth.
"THE EMPEROR GAVE HIS LIFE FOR YOU! THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS RETURN THE FAVOR!"
FOR THE EMPEROR!
Infiltrate the Pentagon as stealthily as possible.
Engage Dapper Science! Its pretty much drunk science but tea is used to initiate the intellectual trance rather than alcohol
Potato thing:
Locate & dig through the research notes & user manual I undoubtedly writ out. Particularly the research notes and their language section.
Lego:
Accept the scrub's challenge, beat him on his own track!
Regain consciousness, crawl toward nearest medic.
Try Again
((Deja vu))
Kill guards and get the GM's remote
How do people even know the remote to be in the Pentagon without metagaming? I haven't told anything about my findings to anyone in-character.
((Seriously?))
Go kill the tyranids.((Seriously?))
((No spoilers because the Earth will be consumed by a vicious alien race! Hooray!))
Them bastards ruined me hat! pull out my ordinary shotgun and let them have it in the head!Nuts I forgot to make this in bold,smurf can you redo the round to add my action?
Them bastards ruined me hat! pull out my ordinary shotgun and let them have it in the head!Nuts I forgot to make this in bold,smurf can you redo the round to add my action?
Ask what happened while I was asleep. Then appropriate some nearby weapon. The better the roll, the better the weapon.
Go kill the tyranids.((Seriously?))
((No spoilers because the Earth will be consumed by a vicious alien race! Hooray!))
Use new top hat to increase power of dapper science. Conduct more dapper science1
Look under all of the couches
We don't need backup anyhow. BEGIN STRIPPING OFF DISGUISE!
Keep breaking through walls.
Be saddened over my loss. Find pathway to alien planet filled with aliens that love racing.
USE TIME GRID.
Pull it out stab one of them and start running again
Establish the Imperium of Man, make myself the Emperor!
(Explanation for why I could get away with this: "THIS IS NO TIME FOR POLITICS. WE NEED A STRONG LEADER TO SAVE TERRA."
Do a double-take and squint really hard at the text.
But french fries!
"Are you an orphan?"
Get some law and order (and central management) into the fringes of the Empire to prepare for the next battle against the Orks.
Sheb, we'll just starve them out. Then you can sell them French Fries, and I'll get ten per cent. Deal?
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
You rolled a [1] you forgot you were a man when you decided to strip,the women and men are disgusted at you,this'll probably affect your romance rolls later.
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
You rolled a [1] you forgot you were a man when you decided to strip,the women and men are disgusted at you,this'll probably affect your romance rolls later.
Please, don't set off the social justice side of me...
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
You rolled a [1] you forgot you were a man when you decided to strip,the women and men are disgusted at you,this'll probably affect your romance rolls later.
Please, don't set off the social justice side of me...
What do you mean?
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
You rolled a [1] you forgot you were a man when you decided to strip,the women and men are disgusted at you,this'll probably affect your romance rolls later.
Please, don't set off the social justice side of me...
What do you mean?
No. Stop. No. No.
Change roll: Go back in time and prevent this conversation from happening in the near future.
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
You rolled a [1] you forgot you were a man when you decided to strip,the women and men are disgusted at you,this'll probably affect your romance rolls later.
Please, don't set off the social justice side of me...
What do you mean?
No. Stop. No. No.
Change roll: Go back in time and prevent this conversation from happening in the near future.
[20[18]] The conversation never happened, and shall never happen again.
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
You rolled a [1] you forgot you were a man when you decided to strip,the women and men are disgusted at you,this'll probably affect your romance rolls later.
Please, don't set off the social justice side of me...
What do you mean?
No. Stop. No. No.
Change roll: Go back in time and prevent this conversation from happening in the near future.
[20[18]] The conversation never happened, and shall never happen again.
+8 to keep SFW Modifier.
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
You rolled a [1] you forgot you were a man when you decided to strip,the women and men are disgusted at you,this'll probably affect your romance rolls later.
Please, don't set off the social justice side of me...
What do you mean?
No. Stop. No. No.
Change roll: Go back in time and prevent this conversation from happening in the near future.
[20[18]] The conversation never happened, and shall never happen again.
+8 to keep SFW Modifier.
You already rolled a natural 20 and then an 18 for crit-confirm. The +8 means essentially nothing here :3
Opt for amputation and become a 1 armed gunslinger
Oh screw this. Pop a cap in his ass and then steal his hat.
Right, I have a 50-meter Zerg monster. Dodge potato. Burst through a wall, pinpoint the remote's location if I hadn't already, grab it and leave through another wall. Do this all losing as little momentum as possible.
"What's this shimmery thing in front of you? Why can't I go through it?"
Keep breaking through walls and lead the superweapon monster to the room with all the couches.
Tuck recipe away for later. Note to self: become organized.
Locate the real research notes.
Turn it upside-down, do a triple-take.
Leroy Jenkins everything in wanton disregard for friend or foe. Then ask who it is I'm supposed to be shooting for anyway.
Damnit, Helgoland, I should have given you a sinecure long ago! Oh well.
Give the colonies their independence in exchange for helping to banish the Sol system to a pocket universe.
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.
You rolled a [1] you forgot you were a man when you decided to strip,the women and men are disgusted at you,this'll probably affect your romance rolls later.
Please, don't set off the social justice side of me...
What do you mean?
No. Stop. No. No.
Change roll: Go back in time and prevent this conversation from happening in the near future.
[20[18]] The conversation never happened, and shall never happen again.
+8 to keep SFW Modifier.
You already rolled a natural 20 and then an 18 for crit-confirm. The +8 means essentially nothing here :3
Don't care. Better safe than sorry. XD
Get bored because the forumites ruined my fun of when I was playing with my imaginary GM stick.
Sell tea, hats and suits for $$$
Anything eh? OK I get the hammer from Red faction:Guerrilla and bust the building down and make my escape! no wait! I get a jager from Pacific rim and get a mega sized varient of the hammer from Red faction:Guerrilla! and THEN bust my way out of there!
((I don't read many books and so far most games I've played haven't had anything particualy outrageous,Pacific rim idea came at the last minute.))
oh I dunno,GM mentioned that EVERYTHING mentioned in this thread is here and I might not have read through this whole thing but I'm willing to bet that there have been some pretty large monsters!
Anyway I don't need some wrinkly woman with a machine clinging onto my back!
oh I dunno,GM mentioned that EVERYTHING mentioned in this thread is here and I might not have read through this whole thing but I'm willing to bet that there have been some pretty large monsters!
Anyway I don't need some wrinkly woman with a machine clinging onto my back!
Woman? SHE'S FIFTEEN.
And I was just referring to the machine. The machine is the Buer Drive, giving the above girl her nickname. A Buer Drive has enough power to cleave through steel at maximum velocity, each individual blade can be controlled independently, and it spins fast enough to allow flight.
Personally, I'd get a single-man Imperial Titan or something else ridiculously awesome.
You should just get a BFG9000 or something similar to it.Personally, I'd get a single-man Imperial Titan or something else ridiculously awesome.
Well tough I don't know what that is,I haven't really seen anything ridiculously awesome.
You should just get a BFG9000 or something similar to it.Personally, I'd get a single-man Imperial Titan or something else ridiculously awesome.
Well tough I don't know what that is,I haven't really seen anything ridiculously awesome.
What does that remote do, anyway?Operates the GM's TV, of course.
Stop, do the Legend of Zelda pose with the remote, then bring it to the GM.
"I exist for NOBODY'SSS entertainment!!!"
Smash through the wall.
Anything eh? OK I get the hammer from Red faction:Guerrilla and bust the building down and make my escape! no wait! I get a jager from Pacific rim and get a mega sized varient of the hammer from Red faction:Guerrilla! and THEN bust my way out of there!
((I don't read many books and so far most games I've played haven't had anything particualy outrageous,Pacific rim idea came at the last minute.))
Forge an alliance between the colonies and the homeworld, to defend against any attackers from outside.
Also, get better rolls.
oh wait! Cast phase door spell 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000X
EDIT and then divide by zero!
Let's see... who else is running amok?... Oh yes, playergamer thinks himself a godking... but then I think that we need to fuck up this world just a little bit more... PREPARE TO SUMMON DAEMONS!
"TERRA IS HOLY GROUND! DESTROY THE DEFILERS!"
DRIVE THE XENOS TO HELL
Grab the remote from Icytea31
Help humanity rebuild then expand to the the stars in such a way that I can't cause anything bad to happen.
Wallow in self pity and drown my sorrows in tea.
Go kill the robots.
Enter race, the reward for winning the race is the GM's remote.
SMURFINGTON YOU FORGOT MY ACTION DAMMITEnter race, the reward for winning the race is the GM's remote.
((Okay, but what does it refer to here?))
((Wrong, it's the gate to the omniverse.))
Give the Demon Tavik's hat.
TAKE CONTROL OF THE DAEMONS.
Bring the remote to the GM
"THROW THE XENOS BACK TO THE WARP! FOR EVERY ONE THEY KILL, 5 WILL TAKE THEIR PLACE!"
RID TERRA OF THE XENO MENACE!
(NOW THAT I AM GOD-EMPEROR I CAN ONLY TALK IN ALL CAPS)
Hmm.
Tranform into the last few creatures in my history. If there's anything that can read GM language, read the manual for options.
Lead Earth Alliance and ZAFT forces against the Orks. Hold the line.
Do a matrix dodge and smash the weaker enemies.
"Well, at least you're not a fucking llama anymore. Start killing shit."
Start killing shit, with fire, shadows, tentacles and venom.
Once again, expand empire while raising the standard of living.
(We already dealt with this fifth wall stuff before. But fine, just please don't let it get out of hand. And I don't mean out of hand in the standard minimalist RTD fun way, I mean where all the individual stories get bent around it.)
Set up an Olympic raptor games between all Raptor states, both homeworld and colonial.
Join the black mage on whatever quest he's on
Steal the remote from poketwo, then return it to the GM. While I'm at it, remind poketwo which one of us is riding a Godzilla-sized monster.
((Technically he is not a newcomer, since he was here at the start of the thread))((This is true, I just forgot this existed.))
To be honest, I find the potato fondue better than any of the first place prizes. Eat the fondue, then go find something to do.
Continue killing shit until all shit is kill.
((Should I start rolling for Cyrydiad as well?))
Look near my wake-up spot for that wheel; maybe we went clubbing together. Or something.
DO SOME RACING YEAH
Initiate a competition between the various military units in the Raptor civilization. Tank sharp-shooting, biathlon, marathon, unarmed combat - all any military disciplines should have their event.
Take the random teleport cube, see what it does
Give the demon toast.
LEAD MY TROOPS TO GLORY! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! And potatoes for the GM.
Start punching the tyranid's face in with my other arm,ending it by kicking it into a bunch of other enimies.
Stop the Orks for good without damaging a Earth.
Do a victory dance. Then ask Black Mage for his hat. [/i]
Awaken, thus ending everything.
"Containment breach of Sol system! Emergency threshold reached!"
PAN GALACTIC GARGLE BLASTER SCIENCE
To be honest, I find the potato fondue better than any of the first place prizes. Eat the fondue, then go find something to do.
[5]
You eat it. It is the best fondue ever. You must discover the recipe!
(I'm just waiting for yet more extremely deadly players, like the Daleks or the Flood, to wind up on the poor blue marble.)((Dude, I'm Azathoth. Doesn't get more dangerous than that.))
Recover from pan galactic gargle blaster.
(I'm just waiting for yet more extremely deadly players, like the Daleks or the Flood, to wind up on the poor blue marble.)((Dude, I'm Azathoth. Doesn't get more dangerous than that.))
Recover from pan galactic gargle blaster.
Psionic mind-scour of every sapient being: the recipe for potato fondue. What I'm worried of is what is going to happen when the psykers of each faction come out.
You won't succeed. It isn't in a mind.We'll see what the dice have to say about that.
Welp, time to get back to business.
Destroy everything
Go about my business.
Hit button
Lolfail: Hiss, then escape through a rift.
Cyrydiad: Spit, then escape through a rift.
"Eldar, please leave our solar system. We are currently in combat, and would not want to accidentally hit you."
Ask the Eldar to leave our solar system. If necessary, bargain with what we know of space. Regroup and catalog our forces.
Locate payphone & money. Call up cheesebro.
Also:To be honest, I find the potato fondue better than any of the first place prizes. Eat the fondue, then go find something to do.
[5]
You eat it. It is the best fondue ever. You must discover the recipe!
HA
Die.
Steal the demon's crown and wear it.
Psionic mind-scour of every sapient being: the recipe for potato fondue. What I'm worried of is what is going to happen when the psykers of each faction come out.
(I'm just waiting for yet more extremely deadly players, like the Daleks or the Flood, to wind up on the poor blue marble.)
Recover from pan galactic gargle blaster.
Lolfail: Create a combat abomination out of everything that's not living in this arena!
Cyrydiad: Glare at Lolfail, and start launching fireballs whilst using metastable shadows as floating shields.
Open a rift to someverse safe, stabilize it, escape.
Destroy everything
THAT FUCKER TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME!
Well we'll see who has the last laugh.
Assume FULL CONTROL via hive-mind. Access douchebag-memories, acquire language.
This is why you use protection, kids.
Become nobody,a wizard who specializes in the magic art of nothing.
START RACING ON SHARDS OF MOON ROCK
Hire someone to make sure that the Orks never attacked Earth in the first place. Or just leave.
Ask Khorne if I should do something about the apocolyspe.
get out of the bed
Destroy the Xenos! For the Emperor!
Ork genocide.
Slap the demon on the nose.
Establish a party of super beings to build a peaceful sub-universe.
More genocide. More efficient genocide. More efficient and thorough genocide.
Kill the GODEMEPEROR!
Reinforcements through the portal!
Teleport race into the innards of a random PC.
Woot!
Offer asylum to any creature that wants a break from fighting. Arm the hobos to act as guards.
Find a fictional universe where I can mess worth the plot at my hearts content.
Look at console
Tap into cheese-fuckbro's GM language memory at long-distance. Use it to acquire options from the manual.
Lolfail: Attempt to control the bone golem.
Cyrydiad: "That looks better!" Assimilate the bone golem.
More genocide. More efficient genocide. More efficient and thorough genocide.
Turn everyone in my immediate area into nothing,being nobody the police will not be able to find me.
Create a moon base
Meditate on the deepest being of potatoes while waiting for the homeverse conflict to end.
Is it a moonbase if it's not a moon anymore?Create a moon base
[2]
You can't make a moonbase, there's already a moonbase.
Find the recipe for potato fondue through experimentation.You may want to inject some drugs first. Watch out for cheesebro.
You may want to inject some drugs first. Watch out for cheesebro.I am in the potato dimension, away from everything but potatoes. I do have plenty to experiment on.
EAT UNIVERSE
Kill the Godemporer darn it.((Kill the what, Godemperor darn it?))
Find the recipe for potato fondue through experimentation.
:( Instruct the hobos to steal other players' weapons, munitions, and armor.
Lolfail: Break contact with golem!Cyrydiad. Make more golems to fight on our side.
Cyrydiad: "Now it'sss time to have sssome fun!" Start killing remaining shit for more materials for Lolfail.
Enact option 2, consume all machinery.
Afterwards, allow hive-mind link to wane, and let cheez-bro to do his thing; spreading the potato-virus to the farthest reaches of the galaxy.
Ahem.."Potato"
Who are you?Is it a moonbase if it's not a moon anymore?Create a moon base
[2]
You can't make a moonbase, there's already a moonbase.Find the recipe for potato fondue through experimentation.You may want to inject some drugs first. Watch out for cheesebro.
Nobody was buried in the rubble,I head off to the nearest sign of civilization.
EAT UNIVERSE
((So the Orks are gone? Or the Ork war over?))((You can never ever be rid of the orks. You got rid of most of them for now.))
Send spies to Earth, find out what's going on.
Oh. Destroy the moonbase. By crashing through all the walls. Huzzah.
Yes
Burst out of Xantalos.
Kill the Godemporer darn it.[3]
Bombard the planet from orbit for a week or two with particle beams and nukes. And maybe a few thousand asteroids.
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.DO IT HARDER. IGNITE THE PINK LIGHTS TO STAY SFW
Let's just... forget that they are people, and keep quaranteening that wretched world.
Expand the interstellar infrastructure, deccreasing travelling time between the different parts of the Raptor civilization.
Using Human!Kyubey as the primary avatar.
Make contracts with Orks inbetween murdering nonchaos affiliated humans.
Get manual
screw it, send in the tyrandis then move on the to the next actual helpless fictional universe.
The GM? Why?
((Did I accomplish the tasks? If not,)) initiate machine-cleansing((.))
Slowwwwwly, sennnnsssuaaallllyyy strip.DO IT HARDER. IGNITE THE PINK LIGHTS TO STAY SFW
Fight them back and close the gates. But let them devastate the Ork planets for a bit first.Helgoland, please remember that we sealed the entire Sol system inside a pocket dimension. If you continue to post actions as if we didn't, then the GM will be forced to roll on your anti-ork actions, thus making orks exist in the main space and completely negating the point of banishing the entire solar system to another dimension in the first place.
Excellent.
Infect zerg & tyranid & humans & orkz & daemons & raptors. In particular, I'm aiming for a hive mind or other psionic controlling unit to boost direct control capabilities.
If I haven't already, release cheesebro to do is thing.
Excellent.
Infect zerg & tyranid & humans & orkz & daemons & raptors. In particular, I'm aiming for a hive mind or other psionic controlling unit to boost direct control capabilities.
If I haven't already, release cheesebro to do is thing.
I sealed the solar system (where most of the other players are right now) in another dimension. Surely this must have some effect on what people can do?
Reincarnate as a timetraveller,go back in time and get myself,then go back in time to a earlier date to get another of myself,repeat until I have 10-20 of myself,use my built in paradox stabilizer.
Check my healthbar.
Fight them back and close the gates. But let them devastate the Ork planets for a bit first.
Lolfail: Swear in various languages whilst flying away from the Omegalisk.
Cyrydiad: "I wasss usssing that!" Insert into mind of Omegalisk and assume control.
Excellent.
Infect zerg & tyranid & humans & orkz & daemons & raptors. In particular, I'm aiming for a hive mind or other psionic controlling unit to boost direct control capabilities.
If I haven't already, release cheesebro to do is thing.
Hello?
Discover my latent powers of transmutation, as I somehow made cheese fondue out of nothing but potatoes.
EXTERMINATE 2: ELECTRIC DEATH
"You also get a hat. It'll make you... kill more things at once."
"You also get a hat. It'll make you... kill more things at once."
Realize hobos make terrible soldiers and go in myself, my self-shaped banner flapping in the wind. Check the rule card to find out what special attacks are available at my level.
Check the rule card to
rules
Continue trying to make contracts in between killing.
Realize hobos make terrible soldiers and go in myself, my self-shaped banner flapping in the wind. Check the rule card to find out what special attacks are available at my level.Check the rule card torules
'Wait what?'Yo smurfington, what ability did you take?
Wait, how much of technology is actually destroyed? Does a sword count as technology? What about the wheel? Or even the sharpened stick?
Also, I want to start a RTD based on either the alternate-future-jungle-place Hugoluman and Remuthra went to; or an RTD heavily focused on resource gathering and crafting, one of the things I was testing out in the YoaP experiment.Then do; you don't have to wait until someone else does and steal it.
Wait, how much of technology is actually destroyed? Does a sword count as technology? What about the wheel? Or even the sharpened stick?
Everything with wires, pretty much, though most big metal things have been devoured anyway, like skyscrapers and sheds.
Also, I want to start a RTD based on either the alternate-future-jungle-place Hugoluman and Remuthra went to; or an RTD heavily focused on resource gathering and crafting, one of the things I was testing out in the YoaP experiment.
You see what you've done, Helgoland? We were safe, but you couldn't just leave the Orks alone. You had to fight them after they were dealt with, and risked rolling a 1 and releasing them. And it happened. If the Raptor empire survives this, you're getting a politically immobile sinecure.
DRUNK MAGIC
Lolfail and Cyrydiad: Get the everloving fuck out of there.
((Magic, not tech! Hoorah!))
'Wait what?'
What, a regular success fails the main action? Practise juggling with the potatoes.
EDIT: Woah, just realized that all technology is gone. Luckily I don't rely on it.
Fight like a raptor, sting like a raptor wielding a comically oversized hypodermic needle.
Realize hobos make terrible soldiers and go in myself, my self-shaped banner flapping in the wind. Check the rule card to find out what special attacks are available at my level.
Continue trying to make contracts in between killing.
Lead chaos to another helpless universe. Or follow chaos to one.
Go through the reality rip!
Be mysterious.
Create a weapon using the nanoforge
Use our thousands of years of knowledge to re-tech the Imperium.
If you guys are looking for things to do, consider working for me. This will involve multiversal adventures to find me legendary objects, hunting down multiversal criminals, and helping me find my TV remote. The stakes, and the rewards, are high.
Someone blew up the moon, someone else started a drunk science rampage that started a massive war on earth, and spacefaring raptors are going head-to-head with the orks. You know, the usual.You forgot the multiversal technology purge via warp-traveling nanobot swarm.
..wh...well, I was kind of trying to kick off the consumption of all biomass in the universe. Who are you again?
Lolfail: "What now?"
Cyrydiad: "Orbital bombardment?"
Lolfail: "Sounds good."
Both: Create umbrapyromantic missiles and launch them at Earth.
Have a nice loooong talk with the grim reaper and ask him why he's being so mean to me.
Kinda figures that I can't juggle without arms, but it was worth a try. Meditate.
Okay, just fight like our Raptor Ancestors would want us to, then.
Magic girl stuff.
Since there are no rules, unleash a hadoken out of the mouth!
HA-DO-KEEEEEEHN
An unknown entity from another dimension capable of shapeshifting into a rambling maniac with a gun and helmet, a scary-ass armored man, and a large being of pure magic.
"WHAT IS HAPPENING!?"
Find portal to planet of aliens.
Well, I may as well use the games my skull is from, then.
Find either the planet Dominus or Guardia.
Summon literally infinite potatoes.
DEFEAT THE SWF BLOCKER WITH HOTBLOODEDNESS.
Meditate. Watch over NAV. ((I might change this if NAV does something big and stupid.))
Okay... Retech, I guess. Then Roll to Genocide.Seeing as this is what I'm trying to do, why don't you assist my action so that we don't roll a 1?
Yeah, aight. You're in the Raptor Empire?Okay... Retech, I guess. Then Roll to Genocide.Seeing as this is what I'm trying to do, why don't you assist my action so that we don't roll a 1?
Of course. I did found it, after all.Yeah, aight. You're in the Raptor Empire?Okay... Retech, I guess. Then Roll to Genocide.Seeing as this is what I'm trying to do, why don't you assist my action so that we don't roll a 1?
Oh... Okay, rolecall: Anyone who's involved with Raptor politics, say so. Then I shall eliminate each one of you and finally be uncontested ruler, muahaha.Of course. I did found it, after all.Yeah, aight. You're in the Raptor Empire?Okay... Retech, I guess. Then Roll to Genocide.Seeing as this is what I'm trying to do, why don't you assist my action so that we don't roll a 1?
Possess the nearest humanoid and start slowly redeveloping technology.
Find a less... wow universe.
Well then, looks like I'll have to use the one cultural advantage that raptors have over others. Science does not require gadgets, science requires the will to examine and experiment. Science is not the technology, but the process that creates the technology. We must use the power that created the raptor empire in the first place. Therefore,
META DRUNK SCIENCE! AGAIN!
Cyrydiad: "That looksss fun..."
Lolfail: "Uhhh... Actually, you may have a point there."
Both: ABSORB THE SUN.
Soo..wait wha-
Kerfloof!
Establish cheesbro as primary host.
Ok then...Is there anyone else in here?
Escape earth
PING PONG CIRCULATE. DANCING TIME.
((Revive self.))
Thaw and revive BARBARA, dammit!
YOU WILL LIVE, MY SWEET!!
Get a ride at the afterlife bus terminal,have a chat with the RNG.
(Alright, I'll give this a shot.)
I am an AI driven tank that survived the technology destruction due to being powered by biotechnology, I aid Helgoland in his war with the Orks by giving him more of a fighting chance and attacking them myself.
Meditate. Watch over NAV. ((I might change this if NAV does something big.))
Okay... Retech, I guess. Then Roll to Genocide.
Return from long depression with new epiphany induced by over-consumption of tea
Escape the Orks' clutches, with wit, strength, and historical inevitability.A question to the Raptor people: do you favor rescuing Helgoland?
Anyone up for rescuing me?
Oh goddammit, I work day and night for our people, I even get captured while on the front lines, and you won't even rescue me? Have I not fought valiantly before? Have I not led our efforts to push back the Orks many times before, successfully?Escape the Orks' clutches, with wit, strength, and historical inevitability.A question to the Raptor people: do you favor rescuing Helgoland?
Anyone up for rescuing me?
Bang the RNG's sister. I might as well screw someone after getting screwed that many times.
Give my beautiful wife a kiss.
Give my beautiful wife a kiss.(6) And now you have a kid.
I activate my emergency protocols and resist the hijack, I attempt to rescue Helgoland from those FILTHY orks.May the RNG be with you!
I activate my emergency protocols and resist the hijack, I attempt to rescue Helgoland from those FILTHY orks.May the RNG be with you!
BYPASS SFW! ACHIEVE FINAL DESTINY! NAKEDNESS!((Could someone remind me as to why I seem to be following this thread?))
You mean that didn't remind you?BYPASS SFW! ACHIEVE FINAL DESTINY! NAKEDNESS!((Could someone remind me as to why I seem to be following this thread?))
((No, it only confused me further.))You mean that didn't remind you?BYPASS SFW! ACHIEVE FINAL DESTINY! NAKEDNESS!((Could someone remind me as to why I seem to be following this thread?))
((No, it only confused me further.))You mean that didn't remind you?BYPASS SFW! ACHIEVE FINAL DESTINY! NAKEDNESS!((Could someone remind me as to why I seem to be following this thread?))
((Basically it's exactly as it says on the tin. For example I am Human!Kyubey and am in the cheese dimension. Also the earth is fucked, being attacked, and has been taken over by raptors who I am going to at some point destroy for fun.))((No, it only confused me further.))You mean that didn't remind you?BYPASS SFW! ACHIEVE FINAL DESTINY! NAKEDNESS!((Could someone remind me as to why I seem to be following this thread?))
((Basically it's exactly as it says on the tin. For example I am Human!Kyubey and am in the cheese dimension. Also the earth is fucked, being attacked, and has been taken over by raptors who I am going to at some point destroy for fun.))
((Basically it's exactly as it says on the tin. For example I am Human!Kyubey and am in the cheese dimension. Also the earth is fucked, being attacked, and has been taken over by raptors who I am going to at some point destroy for fun.))(Nope. The raptors have long since abandoned the Earth for the stars. The even tried to quarantine that disaster zone of a planet, but Helgoland broke it because he forgot about it and attacked through it.)
BYPASS SFW! ACHIEVE FINAL DESTINY! NAKEDNESS!
((Hey, I just sent spies...))((Basically it's exactly as it says on the tin. For example I am Human!Kyubey and am in the cheese dimension. Also the earth is fucked, being attacked, and has been taken over by raptors who I am going to at some point destroy for fun.))(Nope. The raptors have long since abandoned the Earth for the stars. The even tried to quarantine that disaster zone of a planet, but Helgoland broke it because he forgot about it and attacked through it.)
(Then you tried to attack the Orks, who were inside. And rolled a 1, setting all the shit in there free. But such is minimalist RTD.)((Hey, I just sent spies...))((Basically it's exactly as it says on the tin. For example I am Human!Kyubey and am in the cheese dimension. Also the earth is fucked, being attacked, and has been taken over by raptors who I am going to at some point destroy for fun.))(Nope. The raptors have long since abandoned the Earth for the stars. The even tried to quarantine that disaster zone of a planet, but Helgoland broke it because he forgot about it and attacked through it.)
(I meant the Orks outside, the ones that were attacking us... But at least I shouldn't be seen as a coward anymore :P)(Then you tried to attack the Orks, who were inside. And rolled a 1, setting all the shit in there free. But such is minimalist RTD.)((Hey, I just sent spies...))((Basically it's exactly as it says on the tin. For example I am Human!Kyubey and am in the cheese dimension. Also the earth is fucked, being attacked, and has been taken over by raptors who I am going to at some point destroy for fun.))(Nope. The raptors have long since abandoned the Earth for the stars. The even tried to quarantine that disaster zone of a planet, but Helgoland broke it because he forgot about it and attacked through it.)
Bang the RNG's sister. I might as well screw someone after getting screwed that many times.
MY HALBERD IS AWESOME! Swings fresh halberd/spear/whatever.
Work on next brilliant invention
The long war and alcoholism has damaged our people's sanity...
SPACE JAM THE ORKS TO ANIHILATION!
Escape the Orks' clutches, with wit, strength, and historical inevitability.
Anyone up for rescuing me?
Bang the RNG's sister. I might as well screw someone after getting screwed that many times.
((Can you do that after I have a chat with the RNG? I don't need any interruptions.))
Ask the RNG why he's generally being a jerk most of the time.
Both: Reform.
Give my beautiful wife a kiss.
Seek full understanding of potatoes.
I activate my emergency protocols and resist the hijack, I attempt to rescue Helgoland from those FILTHY orks.
Test hivemind, see how many other (things) cheesebro's infected since I last 'saw' him.
&/or check surroundings.
Who? Just the two of you?
runners-up for cheesebro:Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
BYPASS SFW! ACHIEVE FINAL DESTINY! NAKEDNESS!((I should really put this on the front page))
((What is the almighty Raptor empire going to do now that there aren't any Orks to kill?))Rebuild, perhaps.
((maybe not stab the god that controls everything ever))
Go to marsYou missed me!!!
Meet the RNG's sister and become good friends.
What happens if I bang the RNG'S sister.
>.< Would you guys leave the RNG's sister alone?Meet the RNG's sister and become good friends.
What happens if I bang the RNG'S sister.
Great,we both royally ruin our rolls and due to attempted assassination and touching the sister of the RNG and thus he annihilates humanity.
Go to marsYou missed me!!!
Hey, she's a fine lady.True. And at least you're trying to be friends with her... Still though! If nothing else for the sake of the human inhabitence of this universe.
The fact remains that you're going after the sister of an all powerful god that controls all reality. She's probably extremely powerful as well.
*chugs beer and then slams it on the floor*
LET'S FUCKING DO IT!
*chugs beer and then slams it on the floor*
LET'S FUCKING DO IT!
And Captain Testosterone steps up to the plate. I'm sure his good friend Poor Judgement will be following soon after.
Check contact list.
Why?
Stab the RNG in the back with my deity dagger.
((What is the almighty Raptor empire going to do now that there aren't any Orks to kill?))Rebuild, perhaps.
Or find either planet Dominus or planet Guardia.
Well, potato-on-a-stick is pretty good. It's a convenient way to cook them on a fire. If we had fire.
Develop firestarting methods.
Return home. Reread the Iliad. Vow not to make the same mistakes.
Meet the RNG's sister and become good friends.
What happens if I bang the RNG'S sister.
Go to dimension where I successfully turned the GM's potatoes into Russian Nuclear Tsar Bombs that would explode in 5 seconds
Regroup and Recap the Imperium.
Lolfail: "Told you it wouldn't work."
Cyrydiad: "Shut up. Let's find a pulsar and try again."
Both: Locate pulsar.
Open a portal to the 'verse where I rolled a 5 on my last roll, and ask myself for the answer.
Create a Faction in the raptor empire that wants humans to defect to the Imperium of manAlternately, realizing both species origniate from Earth, you could create a United Imperium of Earth.
In that case, do not eliminate poketwo.If he's for disunion after all, though...
Continue trying.
Rebuild the Imperium.
Aw man, everyone else gets to do things from the franchise they're from :(
Fine then, find the Bane Castle and get the cosmic forge.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wizardry_VI:_Bane_of_the_Cosmic_Forge Just read first 3 paragraphs of plot summary.
Become non-random number god! make a universe where every number is always a 5!
Lolfail: "You're quite sssure thisss will work?"
Cyrydiad: "Of courssse I'm sssure. Here, I'll go firssst..." Absorb half of pulsar.
Side effects? What cheating?
((Grumble grumble no good GM won't let me abuse the multiverse to succeed in an action I failed.))
Meditate.
Forge a new sense of Raptor nationalism.
Create a Faction in the raptor empire that wants humans to defect to the Imperium of man
HECK YEA!
Screw technology, I'm going to immolate things! BURN STUFF! BURN IT NOW!
HECK YEA!
Screw technology, I'm going to immolate things! BURN STUFF! BURN IT NOW!
[3]
Burning things! Your house is on fire.
Try and impress her.BARBARA
What is her name?
For the love of fanservice! KEEP! STRIPPING!EVERY TIME I CHECK THIS THREAD I SEE THIS SHIT
It's a sign, mastah.For the love of fanservice! KEEP! STRIPPING!EVERY TIME I CHECK THIS THREAD I SEE THIS SHIT
It's a sign, mastah.For the love of fanservice! KEEP! STRIPPING!EVERY TIME I CHECK THIS THREAD I SEE THIS SHIT