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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661072 times)

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #480 on: March 25, 2014, 12:02:46 pm »

What would happen if babies didn't cry?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #481 on: March 25, 2014, 01:50:55 pm »

What breaks when you give it to a toddler?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

D:
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gigaraptor487

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #482 on: March 25, 2014, 03:08:59 pm »

What is the difference between a pizza and a jew?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: March 25, 2014, 03:26:33 pm by gigaraptor487 »
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Knit tie

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #483 on: March 25, 2014, 03:40:31 pm »

What is the difference between a pizza and a jew?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What breaks when you give it to a toddler?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have to mention that, in real life, I would punch whoever said those jokes in the face, but here they are suddenly hilarious.
What have I become?
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My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #484 on: March 25, 2014, 03:44:47 pm »

One of us...

scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #485 on: March 25, 2014, 03:47:12 pm »

It might be in part because the name of the thread is 'Terrible Jokes' and not 'Good Jokes', and they are implicitly not to be treated seriously. Well, as seriously as people treat jokes.
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Comrade P.

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #486 on: March 25, 2014, 03:50:44 pm »

What is the difference between a pizza and a jew?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What breaks when you give it to a toddler?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have to mention that, in real life, I would punch whoever said those jokes in the face, but here they are suddenly hilarious.
What have I become?
One of us...

No, like that:

ONE! OF! US! ONE OF! US!

Part of the ship, part of the crew...
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Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #487 on: March 25, 2014, 03:52:48 pm »

One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!
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Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

gigaraptor487

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #488 on: March 25, 2014, 03:55:03 pm »

To be honest, I feel terrible saying them, but isn't the point of this for terrible jokes?
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #489 on: March 25, 2014, 03:58:13 pm »

Oooh! Have I told the fridge joke yet?

So a poor family buys a second-hand fridge. They put their food into it and go to sleep. In the morning they wake up to find that the amount of food in it has doubled! They figure it must be the +5 Magic Fridge of Doubling, and sure enough, it is. They put all their savings into it repeatedly and become rich.
So they're flying on a plane to their vacation in the Bahamas, and taking the fridge with them, of course, when suddenly, one of the plane's engines bursts into flame. The stewards start throwing everything out of the cargo hold, but the family realize that they can put the functional engine into the fridge, and all will be fine! So the stewards and our heroes are wrasslin' for the fridge right before the cargo hold's door. Ah, fuck this joke, here's another one.

So a ship has sunk on its way to the Bahamas, and the only survivors are a boy and a girl. They are on a raft. The boy realizes he loves the girl, so he goes, like, "Girl! I love thee!" And she's like "Wha..?" And then he's like, "I WILL SHOW YOU!" But instead of whipping out his junk like all normal people, he dives into the sea. So he's swimming along the bottom of it, and sees a pearl as big as his fist. He decides it's too small, and swims on. Then he finds a pearl as big as his head. Still small. Then he finds one as big as his left testicle. He nods approvingly, throws his arms around it and starts swimming up. So he swims for half an hour, but finally he emerges, ready to present the pearl to the girl, but there's nobody on the raft except for a fridge and a spattering of pureed human.
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Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #490 on: March 25, 2014, 04:08:12 pm »

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Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

gigaraptor487

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #491 on: March 25, 2014, 04:14:12 pm »

Dafuq?

Also, Reagen tells the terriblest Soviet jokes~

I imagine somewhere in the ex-soviet archive there is russian reversals with Gorbachev.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #492 on: March 25, 2014, 04:19:27 pm »

Surprised nobody has done an Aristocrats! joke.
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Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #493 on: March 25, 2014, 04:27:26 pm »

We've got too many dead babies already.
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The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Knit tie

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  • Consider avatar too slim until end of diet.
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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #494 on: March 25, 2014, 05:25:09 pm »

Oooh! Have I told the fridge joke yet?

So a poor family buys a second-hand fridge. They put their food into it and go to sleep. In the morning they wake up to find that the amount of food in it has doubled! They figure it must be the +5 Magic Fridge of Doubling, and sure enough, it is. They put all their savings into it repeatedly and become rich.
So they're flying on a plane to their vacation in the Bahamas, and taking the fridge with them, of course, when suddenly, one of the plane's engines bursts into flame. The stewards start throwing everything out of the cargo hold, but the family realize that they can put the functional engine into the fridge, and all will be fine! So the stewards and our heroes are wrasslin' for the fridge right before the cargo hold's door. Ah, fuck this joke, here's another one.

So a ship has sunk on its way to the Bahamas, and the only survivors are a boy and a girl. They are on a raft. The boy realizes he loves the girl, so he goes, like, "Girl! I love thee!" And she's like "Wha..?" And then he's like, "I WILL SHOW YOU!" But instead of whipping out his junk like all normal people, he dives into the sea. So he's swimming along the bottom of it, and sees a pearl as big as his fist. He decides it's too small, and swims on. Then he finds a pearl as big as his head. Still small. Then he finds one as big as his left testicle. He nods approvingly, throws his arms around it and starts swimming up. So he swims for half an hour, but finally he emerges, ready to present the pearl to the girl, but there's nobody on the raft except for a fridge and a spattering of pureed human.
Where's the joke?
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