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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661069 times)

martinuzz

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2700 on: October 12, 2015, 08:15:57 am »
A guy walks into a sleezy bar. At the counter there's a sign, saying
"CHEESEBURGER: $2
CHICKENBURGER  $3
HANDJOB             $15"

They guy walks up to the girl behind the counter and asks "Are you the one giving handjobs?"
"Yes I do, honey", she purrs
"Then wash your goddamn hands before you make me a cheeseburger"
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

IcyTea31

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2701 on: October 13, 2015, 12:36:38 am »
And then we hear that 'handjob' actually meant 'handmade' and the burger comes from some horribly nonhygienic machine.
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There is a world yet only seen by physicists and magicians.

H4zardZ1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2702 on: October 13, 2015, 08:18:46 am »
0.01$ joke
Buy today?
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Quote from: Rock
Quote from: Comrade Qwasich
Stop bullying children
I can't
I have to bully children
Sigtext and other things

Dirst

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2703 on: October 13, 2015, 08:30:42 am »
How can you tell when a politician is lying?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How can you tell a statistician is lying?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How can you tell an economist left out facts contrary to his story?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How can you tell a DF player is doing something cruel to his dwarves?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Just got back, updating:
(0.42 & 0.43) The Earth Strikes Back! v2.15 - Pay attention...  It's a mine!  It's-a not yours!
(0.42 & 0.43) Appearance Tweaks v1.03 - Tease those hippies about their pointy ears.
(0.42 & 0.43) Accessibility Utility v1.04 - Console tools to navigate the map

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2704 on: October 13, 2015, 08:46:38 am »
Quote from: H4zardZ1 on October 13, 2015, 08:18:46 am
0.01$ joke
Buy today?
For just twice the price, get double the quality!  Buy a two-cent joke today!
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Sigtext

Quote from: Hanslanda on April 12, 2017, 09:32:01 pm
It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2705 on: October 13, 2015, 09:46:01 am »
I really don't see the sense in it.

...

!!!!!!!!
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

H4zardZ1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2706 on: October 13, 2015, 11:10:17 am »
Quote from: Tack on October 13, 2015, 09:46:01 am
I really don't see the sense in it.

...

!!!!!!!!
You don't have to smell that juoke.
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Quote from: Rock
Quote from: Comrade Qwasich
Stop bullying children
I can't
I have to bully children
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TheDarkStar

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2707 on: October 15, 2015, 09:00:44 am »
Quote from: Dirst on October 13, 2015, 08:30:42 am
How can you tell an economist left out facts contrary to his story?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No punchline?
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Quote from: tuypo1 on August 24, 2014, 09:25:26 pm
it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

Jopax

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2708 on: October 15, 2015, 09:10:26 am »
I think the lack of the punchline is the punchline in this case.
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Dirst

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2709 on: October 15, 2015, 09:17:02 am »
Quote from: TheDarkStar on October 15, 2015, 09:00:44 am
Quote from: Dirst on October 13, 2015, 08:30:42 am
How can you tell an economist left out facts contrary to his story?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No punchline?
Jopax figured out that I am an economist.
Logged
Just got back, updating:
(0.42 & 0.43) The Earth Strikes Back! v2.15 - Pay attention...  It's a mine!  It's-a not yours!
(0.42 & 0.43) Appearance Tweaks v1.03 - Tease those hippies about their pointy ears.
(0.42 & 0.43) Accessibility Utility v1.04 - Console tools to navigate the map

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2710 on: October 16, 2015, 12:35:07 pm »
A man joins a bunch of people waiting in line in front of a building that says "Funny Joke Inside!". When it gets to be his turn, the man is escorted inside and promptly punched in the face.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2711 on: October 16, 2015, 04:24:08 pm »
I went to get these fruit drinks in the Food court, because

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Spehss _

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2712 on: October 16, 2015, 04:55:37 pm »
Quote from: Cinder on October 16, 2015, 04:24:08 pm
I went to get these fruit drinks in the Food court, because

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
ayyy clever
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Quote from: Ispil on September 23, 2016, 02:25:08 pm
Turns out you can seriously not notice how deep into this shit you went until you get out.

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2713 on: October 16, 2015, 10:24:59 pm »
i dont get it
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TheDarkStar

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2714 on: October 16, 2015, 10:30:11 pm »
Quote from: Bohandas on October 16, 2015, 10:24:59 pm
i dont get it

You got that joke when

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

Quote from: tuypo1 on August 24, 2014, 09:25:26 pm
it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now
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