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Author Topic: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: T+0  (Read 449829 times)

NullForceOmega

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1740 on: July 29, 2016, 02:27:15 am »


1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.

1 )  Thank the giver for the considerate gift.

2 )  Ask him to explain the contents of his collection, the locations at which they were obtained, thank him for sharing his hobby with me.

3 )  Remain still until the wasp decides to take flight, rise, attempt to direct the wasp outdoors, if uncooperative, terminate with extreme prejudice.

4 )  Discuss artistic qualities of the full page-spread, discuss use of composition, framing, and light present in the image.

5 )  I am in the desert, food is not plentiful, the tortoise represents both food and fluids that I require to survive, this death serves a purpose.

6 )  Insightful, involved, organized

7 )  An unfortunate situation, without the support of the child's father I will be unable to provide an environment that is conducive to raising a child, due to my poor earning potential.

8 )  Destroy absolutely everything, no survivors, scorched earth policy.  Shitty play, poor service, and bad taste, this place had it coming.
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Grey morality is for people who wish to avoid retribution for misdeeds.

NullForceOmega is an immortal neanderthal who has been an amnesiac for the past 5000 years.

Maxô

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1741 on: July 29, 2016, 02:49:44 am »

According to my analysis you are a middle aged Russian woman.
Я думаю, что есть что. Я полагаю, я прочь, чтобы собрать немного водки тогда.
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martinuzz

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1742 on: July 29, 2016, 03:13:46 am »

1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

 8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
1) Organize a lynch mob with the rest of the birthday party and kill the heretic who sponsored the death of a holy cow. Auhm Baghwan Auhm.
2) Ask him how he broke free from the factory sweatshop I sold him to
3) Panic, scream and get stung multiple times
4) Beat her for being a heartless bear hunt supporter
5) Dreams are weird like that
6) Bears, vodka, Putin
7) I run around screaming and flapping my arms looking for my d*** that was still there only a few questions earlier.
 8) Raw oysters are disgusting, even fake stage oysters
[/absurdism]
« Last Edit: July 29, 2016, 04:00:56 am by martinuzz »
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mainiac

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1743 on: July 29, 2016, 07:21:40 am »

According to my analysis...

misko is a member of a crack commando squad sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.  These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

Birdy is a 62 year old black man in Alaska who is employed making sage announcements to white people feeling self doubt for the first time in their lives.

NullForceOmega is an immortal neanderthal who has been an amnesiac for the past 5000 years.

Martinezz is a 23 year old transgender male living in Qom currently employed at Starbucks.
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
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"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
ę Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM Ľ
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

smjjames

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1744 on: July 29, 2016, 08:31:46 am »

Well the thing is that if Hillary is going to ruin the country, it will be through rot.

If Trump ruins the country, it will be by fire.
See, that's debatable.
I'm not the only one here who feels that Hillary might just decide to burn anything resembling a bridge with Russia and start WW3, in fact someone posted something like this within the last few pages.
I still really don't get this. I get that Clinton is a lot more hawkish than average, and has criticised Russia in the past, but I really don't see how that translates into declaring war on Russia.
She wanted to declare a no-fly zone over Syria at some point in the recent past, for one. The only way to enforce that is to shoot down Russian planes.

The no-fly zone was specific to Syrian planes and helicopters, like how the no-fly zones over Iraq during the second gulf war only applied to Iraqi planes.

Anyway: http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/07/hillary-clinton-acceptance-speech-214120 I guess both Trumps and Hillary's speeches are WYSIWYG.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2016, 09:41:26 am by smjjames »
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SirQuiamus

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1745 on: July 29, 2016, 10:21:33 am »

The quality of this thread has dramatically improved in the last 15 hours or so. I propose that the thread title be emended to "Dr mainiac's Voight-Kampff testing and American politics thread."
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Rolan7

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1746 on: July 29, 2016, 10:43:06 am »

1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Damn, I hate expensive gifts.  Particularly nice ones.  Now I have to reciprocate.
2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
Encourage his interest in science, but investigate his possible sadism.  Might be some trauma there.
3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.
Uggh.  Wait for it to take off.  Carefully shake arm if it gets comfortable.
4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.
Huh, cool I guess.  Hang up a picture from my wife's porn.  Never let our sadistic son into the room.
5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?
What, no.  No.  Why?  No!
6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
Tortoise
7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
It's a miracle!  Screw being a single parent, though.
8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Damn straight they are.  Even before I became allergic, oysters were meh.  Boiled dog and rice sounds awesome.
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TempAcc

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1747 on: July 29, 2016, 10:55:56 am »


1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.

1)  Aww thats nice, it'd be good If I could have eaten part of the calf too, but its nice. Thank this benevolent person;

2)  Ask kid if he ever heard of japanese bug fights. Show him some youtube videos to get him interested;

3)  Slap wasp away. Pursue it until its killed. This is my territory and its my natural right to defend it, you useless insect;

4)  Hah, I knew you were part lesbian. Make jokes about this at least a few times every week. Love gf even more due to it;

5)  Might get cooked enough to be edible. Sorry tortoise. You were prob a jerk anyway, most tortoises are;

6)  Clairvoyance, food, resilient, nice;

7)  Lol that dweeb, now I have a minion I can raise to kill him, plus I can sue him for monies, and I don't even need to pay a lawyer since I am one :v!;

8 )  Oysters are terrible for you anyway, specially if they're raw. Still, the dog would be better roasted than boiled.
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On normal internet forums, threads devolve from content into trolling. On Bay12, it's the other way around.
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mainiac

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Dr mainiac's Voight-Kampff testing and American politics thread
« Reply #1748 on: July 29, 2016, 11:17:47 am »

According to my analysis...

Rolan is a third technician in a group of miners who was abandoned in a seedy bar as a child and dreams of retiring to Fiji.

TempAcc is a tenured physicist  at the University of Maryland who is doing groundbreaking research in dark matter.  He is currently mourning the death of a close friend who spontaneously combusted.  (Or was it spontaneous after all?)
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"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
ę Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM Ľ
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1749 on: July 29, 2016, 11:21:20 am »

The research was into the use of dark matter to remotely assess personality traits. Unfortunately, it finds being used in this manner insulting.
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birdy51

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1750 on: July 29, 2016, 11:31:45 am »

Birdy is a 62 year old black man in Alaska who is employed making sage announcements to white people feeling self doubt for the first time in their lives.

I wish to substitute this reality for my own. That sounds like the kind of man I should strive to become!

The research was into the use of dark matter to remotely assess personality traits. Unfortunately, it finds being used in this manner insulting.

Dark matter really needs to get over itself. Sometimes, we're meant for something more than wanton energy production. It needs to accept it's reality as a back seat psychologist!
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BIRDS.

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1751 on: July 29, 2016, 11:36:22 am »

That actually sounds kinda cool.  The job description, that is.

He just needs to sound like Morgan Freeman.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2016, 11:54:32 am by TheBiggerFish »
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NullForceOmega

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1752 on: July 29, 2016, 11:36:51 am »

NullForceOmega is an immortal neanderthal who has been an amnesiac for the past 5000 years.

Sigg'd.
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NullForceOmega is an immortal neanderthal who has been an amnesiac for the past 5000 years.

Starver

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1753 on: July 29, 2016, 11:40:39 am »

Dark matter really needs to get over itself. Sometimes, we're meant for something more than wanton energy production. It needs to accept it's reality as a back seat psychologist!
#DarkMatterLives #BaryonicOppression #NeutrinosNotNeutral
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nenjin

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Re: Ameripol\{RK, mainiac}
« Reply #1754 on: July 29, 2016, 01:02:14 pm »

The state of the elections don't interest me atm and I lack the ability to define myself, so I am jumping on this bandwagon.


1) Itís your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
Rub it against my face while cooing.

2) Youíve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
Show him how to rig them with tiny wires so he can make their wings flap and freak out his classmates at school during show and tell.

3) Youíre watching television. Suddenly you realize thereís a wasp crawling on your arm.
Blow on him gently to encourage him to move on.

4) You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your wife. She likes it so much, she hangs it on your bedroom wall. The girlis lying on a bearskin rug.

Buy a ceiling mirror, and rig the bed with a motorized, belt driven system so it spins.

5) Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on it's back. The tortoise lays on it's back, it's belly baking in the hot sun, beating it's legs trying to turn it'self over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?

Turtles killed my parents.

6) Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

Driven, quick to anger, quick to forgive, protective.

7) You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.

There's no question here but....eat the placenta, I guess?

8) One more question: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Again, not a question. Based on the statement though, I am an oyster.

« Last Edit: July 29, 2016, 01:41:14 pm by nenjin »
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