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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 490262 times)

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #330 on: March 02, 2019, 06:50:04 pm »

Like an elf statue?
Truly the most abhorrent thing a dwarf could make.

A wooden elf statue.

A grown wooden elf statue.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #331 on: March 02, 2019, 07:29:09 pm »

Like an elf statue?
Truly the most abhorrent thing a dwarf could make.

A wooden elf statue.

A grown wooden elf statue.
A grown wooden statue of group of elves with beards.
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #332 on: March 02, 2019, 07:44:44 pm »

*hurk*

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #333 on: March 02, 2019, 08:00:29 pm »

A grown wooden statue live exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2019, 08:02:17 pm by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #334 on: March 02, 2019, 08:10:40 pm »

I call it..."Truth in the Age of Myth"
*Is immediately dragged off to the hammerer*
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #335 on: March 02, 2019, 09:32:04 pm »

A grown wooden statue live exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
All right. I asked for it.
A statue of sober dwarf!
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spazyak

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #336 on: March 02, 2019, 10:31:53 pm »

Witch burnings, any dwarves that suitably anger followers of a certain god/godess/thing best forgotten can be burnt at the stake
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #337 on: March 02, 2019, 10:57:31 pm »

Witch burnings, any dwarves that suitably anger followers of a certain god/godess/thing best forgotten can be burnt at the stake

Each time this happens, until a new stake is created and built, the followers will arm themselves and take their rage out on the nobles and random passers-by.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #338 on: March 02, 2019, 11:03:51 pm »

If the dwarf that was burned at the stake was an important follower of a different god, religious riots might start between followers of both gods.
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LordBaal

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #339 on: March 03, 2019, 06:18:34 pm »

A grown wooden statue live exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
All right. I asked for it.
A statue of sober, clean shaved dwarf! Calling a contractor to construct a wall.
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scourge728

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #340 on: March 03, 2019, 06:42:19 pm »

A grown wooden statue live exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
All right. I asked for it.
A statue of sober, clean shaved dwarf! Calling an elf contractor to construct a wall.

Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #341 on: March 04, 2019, 05:01:20 am »

A grown wooden statue live exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
All right. I asked for it.
A statue of sober, clean shaved dwarf! Calling an elf contractor to construct a wall.
That looks like a statue depicting a completely justified murder of everyone involved.
Including sculpturer who made it.
And mason who mined the stone.
And geologist who found it.
And cartographer who found the place for fortress.
And everyone else just to make sure this will never happen again
« Last Edit: March 04, 2019, 05:04:31 am by Criperum »
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #342 on: March 04, 2019, 06:30:37 am »

A grown wooden statue live exhibit of a group of elves and elf-identifying dwarves shaving off dwarven beards.
All right. I asked for it.
A statue of sober, clean shaved dwarf! Calling an elf contractor to construct a wall.
That looks like a statue depicting a completely justified murder of everyone involved.
Including sculpturer who made it.
And mason who mined the stone.
And geologist who found it.
And cartographer who found the place for fortress.
And everyone else just to make sure this will never happen again
Dwarves now slowly regenerate any damaged limbs while in magma instead of burning. Also, they are amphibious.
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Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #343 on: March 04, 2019, 07:02:37 am »

Amphibious but not water type. Booze type
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Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #344 on: March 04, 2019, 07:16:14 am »

Dwarven blood is booze and therefore any dwarf who gets too thirsty starts to drink other dwarves like a vampire.
Once a dwarf has satisfied its thirst by drinking another dwarf, there's a chance depending on its personality that it will form a preference for dwarf blood and basically become a vampire, sneakily murdering other dwarves for the delicious booze in their blood.

Particularly macabre rulers can decide to try dwarf blood on a whim even without a shortage of normal booze, and if they like it will set up a formalized system where lower class dwarves are forced to drink the cheapest alcohol while the elite drink the poor's blood.
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It is good to choose your battles. It is better to choose your wars.
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