I feel like I'm trapped in a mental prison of constantly feeling the need to rethink my life. I've denied myself personal internet access on the idea that I will *force* myself to get out there and do something meaningful, fix all my problems, get into a relationship, and be happy or whatever, but it's been like half a year of that and I don't think I'm doing very well. I not only feel totally stagnant, but I just get emotionally crushed with guilt and feelings of failure at every setback, big or small. I'm not sure what I should do.
I talked with my friend, and he suggests getting a new job, and honestly he might be right, but still I just feel so goddamn lost all the time, every day.
Ignoring my ennui, there's also my Mom, who's living in a new apartment now, is (*SURPRISE*) paranoid that her "Nigerian Anesthesiologist Neighbor" is going to drill a hole in her ceiling and poison her with gas. She fucking woke me up to tell me this bullshit. She left her old home because she was paranoid that her neighbors THERE were poisoning her. With her it's a fucking worldwide conspiracy where everyone is trying to get her, and I'm the only one who can help, when I obviously can't because holy shit Mom stop being retarded. I might need to have my Mom committed if she keeps up with shit.