Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 236 237 [238] 239 240 ... 316

Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661143 times)

Rose

  • Bay Watcher
  • Resident Elf
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3555 on: January 14, 2017, 09:51:17 pm »
What do you call the charging station for a wooden vibrator?

A hickory dickory dock.
Logged

hector13

  • Bay Watcher
  • It’s shite being Scottish
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3556 on: January 16, 2017, 11:16:54 pm »
There are a dozen cows in a field in Scotland. Which one is closest to Saudi Arabia?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

An elderly gentleman walks into a Scottish bakery. His eyesight isn't the greatest, so he points to one of the baker's wares.

"Is that a donut or a meringue?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

milo christiansen

  • Bay Watcher
  • Something generic here
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3557 on: January 17, 2017, 01:34:18 pm »
I got one for you:

"What is the difference between a bisexual prostitute and a lawer?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Rubble 8 - The most powerful modding suite in existence!
Quote from: Malecus on November 30, 2014, 01:33:45 pm
After all, coke is for furnaces, not for snorting.
Quote from: dwarf_reform on December 27, 2014, 01:29:38 pm
You're not true dwarven royalty unless you own the complete 'Signature Collection' baby-bone bedroom set from NOKEAS

Tack

  • Bay Watcher
  • Giving nothing to a community who gave me so much.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3558 on: January 20, 2017, 01:48:56 am »
Jim Beam, famous whiskey distillery has just developed a new line using sour mash in order to produce an inexpensive alcohol which is 97% proof. When they're showcasing the new whiskey they show the potency by putting it in a supercar and running it, when it produces a brilliant blue flame from the exhaust.
The world goes crazy over the new formula, and people are already proposing ideas in how it can be used to offset ethanol in modern petrol.
However the petrol companies decide they hate this, and hire famous martial artist and actor Jet Li to sneak into the R&D lab in order to steal the formula.
Sadly, security is too tight, and he's forced to withdraw.
The next day's headline:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

hector13

  • Bay Watcher
  • It’s shite being Scottish
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3559 on: January 20, 2017, 01:50:32 am »
It breaks up the meme too much, it doesn't work.

Perfect for the thread, then.
Logged
Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Culise

  • Bay Watcher
  • General Nuisance
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3560 on: January 23, 2017, 08:27:18 pm »
You know, though, I've always loved puns.  In fact, they're like equating sausages and a fine pint of pale ale. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

Tawa

  • Bay Watcher
  • the first mankind all over the world
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3561 on: January 23, 2017, 08:57:32 pm »
Where was the cradle of civilization for the Gungans of Star Wars fame?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

MrRoboto75

  • Bay Watcher
  • Belongs in the Trash!
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3562 on: January 24, 2017, 02:43:10 am »
The cake is an alternate fact
Logged
I consume
I purchase
I consume again

Twinwolf

  • Bay Watcher
  • Probably hanging around Forum Games and Roleplay
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3563 on: January 24, 2017, 03:56:02 pm »
Quote from: MrRoboto75 on January 24, 2017, 02:43:10 am
The cake is an alternate fact
Why is this in the terrible jokes thread? It's great :P
Logged
Sigtext!
Quote from: IamanElfCollaborator on December 08, 2015, 05:16:08 pm
Of course, Twin is neither man nor woman but an unholy eldritch abomination like every other Bay12er. The difference is they hide it better.
Quote from: Caellath on IRC
<Caellath>: Twinwolf, your thirst for blood has been noted.

Egan_BW

  • Bay Watcher
  • I wear many masks, none of them have names.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3564 on: January 24, 2017, 07:28:25 pm »
Quote from: MrRoboto75 on January 24, 2017, 02:43:10 am
The cake is an alternate fact
Holy shit genius.
Logged
This unit is known to the state of california to occasionally misuse technical language.

Tawa

  • Bay Watcher
  • the first mankind all over the world
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3565 on: January 25, 2017, 11:00:43 pm »
Crappy geography/history jokes incoming

Why did the Mongols never get angry?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What region of the world produces the most inexperienced video game players?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What was the favored old internet meme among Spanish Muslims?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What ancient empire talked back the most?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Augustus Caesar is on a boat and there's no wind. What does he tell the crewmembers?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Where in Russia do they have the curliest hair?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The worst one I've thought of yet (say it out loud/look up a pronunciation guide if you don't get it):

For physicists, the opposite of matter is antimatter. But for artists, the opposite of matter is a place in England. Where?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

hector13

  • Bay Watcher
  • It’s shite being Scottish
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3566 on: January 25, 2017, 11:04:10 pm »
Did you figure all these out 'cause of CKII?
Logged
Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Tawa

  • Bay Watcher
  • the first mankind all over the world
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3567 on: January 25, 2017, 11:10:49 pm »
I'd like to thank Paradox Interactive for teaching me about geography and accidentally helping me make terrible puns, Wikipedia for teaching me about ancient Persia, and William Shakespeare for helping me discover how "Gloucester" is pronounced.
Logged
I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Haspen

  • Bay Watcher
  • Cthuwu
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3568 on: February 03, 2017, 06:01:07 pm »
What is the name of the most funny Roman?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3569 on: February 05, 2017, 03:26:58 am »
Quote from: Haspen on February 03, 2017, 06:01:07 pm
What is the name of the most funny Roman?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
can't beat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPGb4STRfKw
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479
Pages: 1 ... 236 237 [238] 239 240 ... 316
« previous next »