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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 486252 times)

Strik3r

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3225 on: May 20, 2021, 10:13:12 am »

All items in the game should experience wear, even furniture. Frequent use or exposure to water should accelerate wear. Dwarves should get unhappy thoughts from seeing worn furniture, requiring you to periodically replace it. Also, when machine parts need to be replaced, the machine should have to be shut down first or it should have a chance of injuring the dwarf, dependent on mechanics skill.

Actually, that already sort of does happen... Kinda.
From the Archcrystal thread:
I’ve run into an amusingly unique problem in Archcrystal:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That’s a well deconstructing. I couldn’t figure out why until I looked at the pieces and found what was missing. After 400 years the bucket disintegrated from wear. Now some of the workshops and such that use wooden materials like barrels are deconstructing. Just an inconvenience, but I thought it was funny when I figured out why it was happening. The spore tree beds have about 20 years or so left on them, and then I’ll have to rebuild all of the bedrooms.
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3226 on: May 20, 2021, 03:35:28 pm »

How would they know if you're not just playing with yourself?

DF deploys a network of ceiling cats to watch DF players.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3227 on: May 20, 2021, 04:57:33 pm »

The ceiling cats adopt the players and give birth to hordes of additional ceiling cats. Df players' ceilings collapse, killing us all.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3228 on: May 21, 2021, 12:44:41 am »

Rocks Cats fall, everyone dies.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3229 on: May 21, 2021, 07:03:09 am »

I was always going to say something about "being caught in a cavy-in", but if you could just pretend I came up with the necessary seague that would save me the time.



Because I only knew of the RL creature as a "guinea pig", for a long time I thought DF cavies were a fantasy subterrainean creature, either a GP-like rodent or perhaps a variation of Tribble. If that isn't more Fluffy Wambler territory, if the FW itself isn't already more like a cross between an Adipose and a Yeti...

I still have a hard time getting my head round it. - As such;

Suggestion: Every new game should start with questions to the player, e.g.:
o "What do you think a <creature> looks like?"
o "What do you think is the boiling point of <substance>?"
o "How many <modifications> can an <item> be reasonably decorated with?"

All answers are in plaintext, requiring some form of Natural Language Processing. The responses then may (or may not, or may inversely/conversely/perversely) affect your generated world and what the Raws actually mean.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3230 on: May 21, 2021, 08:04:25 am »

I could see that as being a fun feature, honestly. I'd load it up with all sorts of immature excrement-related jokes, and see what happens. Then, when I run out, I'll just type in meaningless sentences like "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" or just whatever comes up when I look up "corporate presentation generator".
« Last Edit: May 21, 2021, 08:07:45 am by methylatedspirit »
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SixOfSpades

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3231 on: May 24, 2021, 10:12:31 am »

Toady One should start his own cryptocurrency, the Dorfbuck (NASDAQ symbol: DBX). Instead of being generated through data mining, users earn it through in-game dwarven mining.

Can only be used to buy real-world cheese and wooden bins full of cheap cloth.
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3232 on: May 25, 2021, 02:23:41 am »

Toady One should start his own cryptocurrency, the Dorfbuck (NASDAQ symbol: DBX). Instead of being generated through data mining, users earn it through in-game dwarven mining.

Can only be used to buy real-world cheese and wooden bins full of cheap cloth.
But can I use it to buy barrels of firefly brains and blood?
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3233 on: May 25, 2021, 04:43:58 pm »

No, you have to buy up a certain amount of cheese and cloth and then trade those in if you want firefly parts.
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3234 on: May 26, 2021, 08:12:02 am »

Sleeping dwarves now occasionally wake up with heartburn. This gives them a bad thought and makes them seek out alcohol, which makes the heartburn and bad thought worse.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3235 on: May 28, 2021, 05:52:25 pm »

Crates are implemented for storing stones.  Each crate can hold one stone and can’t be placed in any container.  Not even a minecart.
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Really hoping somebody puts this in their signature.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3236 on: May 28, 2021, 06:10:07 pm »

Upon taking a crate-stored stone out of a crate, you also end up with piles of... 'packaging stuff' that has no other use (encrating a stone does not require such stuff, decrating always produces it) that can only be cleaned up, but never completely.

Anything else encrated then decrated, particularly mugs and jewellery, produces a 'bubble fabric' (huge amounts per item) that has no use except to distract dwarves. But maybe in a mood-enhancing way.
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nik the dwarf

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3237 on: May 28, 2021, 07:16:35 pm »

Snipped...
Anything else encrated then decrated, particularly mugs and jewellery, produces a 'bubble fabric' (huge amounts per item) that has no use except to distract dwarves. But maybe in a mood-enhancing way.

Oh no, “bubbly cloth” should be a divine material, but it is very vulnerable to wear. Young dwarflets love to wear out the bubbly cloth
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3238 on: May 29, 2021, 12:52:17 am »

Some dwarves should be drawn to the 'bubble fabric' and immediately upon seeing it they should start to pop it every part of it, leaving it worthless.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Mobbstar

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3239 on: May 29, 2021, 09:01:22 am »

Crate peanuts are a food that cannot spoil but doesn't sate either.
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