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Reader count!  Do you read TLCM?  If so, pick your favorite character below!

Misty Kolnazom, the Greatest Cheesemaker Ever!
Reg Pashmad the Recruit
Gruzzlus Holt the Captain
Plumpy the Plump Helmet Man
Kulet Lokunnomel the Nun
Enir Twigappears the Overseer
Darkerdaffodil the Elf
Maynard the Mule
Other
Iron Owl the Iron Knight

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Author Topic: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 8/26  (Read 930951 times)

slowpokez

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #105 on: March 04, 2014, 09:45:22 pm »

I have a better idea!
Let's join the guard in his undeniable appreciation of the male physique!

Who's with me!?

Gnorm

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #106 on: March 04, 2014, 09:46:49 pm »

What on Earth did I just look at?
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slowpokez

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #107 on: March 04, 2014, 09:54:13 pm »

What on Earth did I just look at?
What are you talking about, the similarities are indisputable!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

peregarrett

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #108 on: March 05, 2014, 05:53:22 am »

“Why don’t you become an armorsmith like me, Misty?”  “Sure, Cheesemaking is a great profession, but why don’t you try being a Miner, Misty?”
>'Cause everyone needs cheese to be happy! No fortress can be rich and prosperous without cheese! Have you ever tasted a mug of dwarven wine with a bit of dwarven cheese?

Quote
Gods, your dad is such an ass.

>Dad, you're such an ass!.. By the way, do you know that guard is staring your ass very hard?
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Monitor Lisard

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #109 on: March 05, 2014, 07:04:20 am »

"Urist McRandomGuard has been happy lately. He admired a nice ass lately."

...Wait, what?
« Last Edit: March 05, 2014, 07:07:39 am by Monitor Lisard »
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ML's forum games and other good stuff

This artwork relates to the killing of the troll Ozyydif Kuilat by the cheese Eritoy Awexog in the early spring of 71

CaptainMcClellan

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #110 on: March 05, 2014, 09:16:39 am »

Hmmmm.... I don't know.
>Go wait in the office, and touch all of the stuff on the Duke-Mayor's desk. Dig in desks and discover a major plot twist: the Duke has a LEGENDARY CHEESE WHEEL STATUE and a miniature engraving copy of the legendary Boatmurdered Cheese Engraving. ( So famous, that it has permeated all Dwarven minds in every Dwarfy universe. ) That's right, he is a Legendary Cheesemaker!
>Completely rethink your opinion of the Duke.
>Get angry. Confront Duke with your findings.

Arowhun

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #111 on: March 05, 2014, 02:18:15 pm »

Posting to watch.

> Plan to escape the mountainhomes, and become a cheesemaker somewhere in the outer lands.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2014, 02:27:24 pm by Arowhun »
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Larix

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #112 on: March 05, 2014, 03:07:05 pm »

Remind father that your mother also struck out on an unusual path and, against all adversity, has become a legendary glazier. Cheesemaking is your calling, and if you cannot follow it here in the mountainhome, you will have to follow it elsewhere.
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evictedSaint

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #113 on: March 05, 2014, 05:41:39 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No, your Dad is a Legendary ARMORSMITH, not a CHEESEMAKER.  Haven't you been listening?!


He crafted much of the armor that preserved Dwarven lives during the great Elf-Dwarf war.  He's produced so many masterwork armor pieces that he doesn't even get a bad thought whenever a piece gets lost or destroyed; he's simply glad that his craft was able to save lives.  Many hailed him as a Smithing Hero; Nilning incarnate, the Dwarven God of Smithing and Patron God of the Eastern Mountainhome himself!


You think he's just a big jerk who hates cheese.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You don't have a mother.


Well, actually you probably do, but you don't remember her.  You're adopted.  The Duke says that your parents were killed during a raid in the War, so he took you in.  There were so many dead that no one knew their names.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh, him?  His name's not Urist McRandomGuard, it's Gruzzluss Holt.  He's the Captain of the Guard, and quite possibly one of the oldest dwarves still living in the mountain homes.


It's okay, though, because no one can remember the last time the mountainhomes got attacked.  It's so boring here that not even the ORCS want it.

The girl hopping around behind him is Reg Pashmad, the only recruit in the mountainhomes.  Duke Mosus says she can't go on caravans as a guard because she's too essential to the security of the fortress to give up, although you suspect he was just saying that so he won't hurt her feelings.


She's a bit...enthusiastic about her job.


The Duke says they'll escort you to his office and wait with you until he's ready to give you a long, long, long, long, long, boring, long lecture about Dwarven morals and why you can't go to ShieldDawn.  In the meantime, he has work to do.  The caravan season is only a couple of months away and they barely have enough to fulfill their end of the trade agreement!  Desertguard ordered a mountain of wood, and Wavemechanisms put in a massive order for iron and steel, Combinelocks needs an ocean of cloth and thread, and...

« Last Edit: April 15, 2015, 02:39:43 pm by evictedSaint »
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evictedSaint

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #114 on: March 05, 2014, 05:56:57 pm »

BONUS:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

vastaghen12

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #115 on: March 05, 2014, 06:09:10 pm »

I say we:

Shout Kobold thief at the top of our lungs, hopefully the guard girl will get "enthusiastic" and then we can slip away in the ensuing chaos.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2014, 06:12:32 pm by vastaghen12 »
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Mephansteras

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #116 on: March 05, 2014, 06:10:39 pm »

This is great! PTW.
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DVNO

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #117 on: March 05, 2014, 06:28:08 pm »

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NAV

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #118 on: March 05, 2014, 08:55:09 pm »

I say we:

Shout Kobold thief at the top of our lungs, hopefully the guard girl will get "enthusiastic" and then we can slip away in the ensuing chaos.
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Timeless Bob

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story)
« Reply #119 on: March 05, 2014, 09:05:47 pm »

Become VERY enthusiastic about joining the guard and sparring with the super-eager recruit.  Pester Dad for a full suit of plate armor RIGHT AWAY - you can't WAIT to start REAL WEAPONS training... I bet nobody has ever used CHEESE as a WEAPON before! (If dear old dad is so keen on keeping me safe and sound, this should alarm him enough to send me somewhere ELSE a bit "more safe".
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