I saw a suggested page ad that had been sticking around on Facebook for a while, some dude in shades staring off into a kinda spacy CG backdrop with lots of connected lines and radii and whatever. The name of the page didn't tell me anything, since it was just (presumably) this dude's name, so I hovered over it to get a look at what it had to say for itself.
"This is the official Facebook group for scientist Nassim Haramein, director of research of the Reso..."
Wait, scientist? ...is this some other popsci personality that I haven't heard about? That background's got a lot of lens flare for a scientist, but okay... I'll bite.
I checked the page, and found the rest of the description: "...Resonance Science Foundation"
Uh oh.
Naturally, I had to look... Maybe it's not as bad as it sounds, right? Maybe it's an actual center specializing in ultrasonic modeling or something?
No, no no. It's exactly as bad as it sounds. The foundation's website itself is kinda toned-down to desperately make it try and sound vague enough to be realistic, but then there's a little mention of "Using the precise geometry of nature – and tools like the ARK® crystal – we are bringing our own lives back into harmony with the power the universe holds."
Aaaaaalrighty then. Mhm. And what is this ARK® crystal, pray tell? Why, it's nothing less than an overpriced paperweight a revolutionary marvel in the field of Advanced Resonance Kinetics (ARK) and crystal technology!
What does it do, you ask? Well, this wonder of modern science is precision engineered to specifically interact with the zero-point dynamics of the vacuum to link with and harness the energy and information of this primary quantum field.
And... It just... It just gets worse from there. There's a splash page showing the numerous benefits of... Well, of wearing/being remotely adjacent to one of these doodads, and one of the bullet points there is "With the technology of the ARK crystal, users can experience the numerous benefits of increased hydration."
The concept here being that these zero-point energy quantum vacuum vibrations apparently make water's "molecular arrangement" become "more structured and highly coherent", which I guess makes water wetter. But I just cannot get over that hydration statement.
EDIT: Oh god this charlatan is doing a Reddit AMA on the 10th