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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1008404 times)

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7890 on: April 14, 2018, 09:45:26 am »

Why bother pretending after all? Just invade Syria and go do that "win foreign war to get domestic support" because that worked so well in the past. After all, we need to dispense freedom from 20mm autocannons to somebody.

You should have included the second Gulf War in that. I get that you're being facetious here or something, but seriously, Syria is even more of a clusterfuck than Iraq ever was. On top of everything else, there is the fact that Iran is even more active there than they were in Iraq. Israel would rather occupy Syria themselves than let Iran have it and they could get away with it.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7891 on: April 14, 2018, 02:13:09 pm »

So, the Russian foreign minister has stated that Moscow received a special document from the Spiez lab in Switzerland, which states that the substance used in the Salisbury poisoning was not Novitsjok at all, but was in fact one of the BZ family of nerve agents produced and stockpiled by...

{dramatic pause}

...old man Smithers the United States and United Kingdom!


So, uh... I mean, if that's actually true, that's a pretty big deal. But... chances?

Doomblade187

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7892 on: April 14, 2018, 02:17:26 pm »

So, the Russian foreign minister has stated that Moscow received a special document from the Spiez lab in Switzerland, which states that the substance used in the Salisbury poisoning was not Novitsjok at all, but was in fact one of the BZ family of nerve agents produced and stockpiled by...

{dramatic pause}

...old man Smithers the United States and United Kingdom!


So, uh... I mean, if that's actually true, that's a pretty big deal. But... chances?
And they don't have the document listed as being released, so.... I'm still leaning towards Russia.

EDIT: okay, the final formula is classified, but they know what it is.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 02:19:48 pm by Doomblade187 »
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7893 on: April 14, 2018, 02:26:04 pm »

Well, the OPCW - who the Russians wanted the UK to send samples to - said it was Novichok.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7894 on: April 14, 2018, 03:18:46 pm »

So, the Russian foreign minister has stated that Moscow received a special document from the Spiez lab in Switzerland, which states that the substance used in the Salisbury poisoning was not Novitsjok at all, but was in fact one of the BZ family of nerve agents produced and stockpiled by...

{dramatic pause}

...old man Smithers the United States and United Kingdom!


So, uh... I mean, if that's actually true, that's a pretty big deal. But... chances?
And the odds that the Russian foreign minister isn't lying through his teeth?
Those depend heavily on if he has teeth or not. Years of mandatory state vodka is detrimental to dental health.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Doomblade187

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7895 on: April 14, 2018, 03:49:32 pm »

So, the Russian foreign minister has stated that Moscow received a special document from the Spiez lab in Switzerland, which states that the substance used in the Salisbury poisoning was not Novitsjok at all, but was in fact one of the BZ family of nerve agents produced and stockpiled by...

{dramatic pause}

...old man Smithers the United States and United Kingdom!


So, uh... I mean, if that's actually true, that's a pretty big deal. But... chances?
And the odds that the Russian foreign minister isn't lying through his teeth?
Those depend heavily on if he has teeth or not. Years of mandatory state vodka is detrimental to dental health.
Can't lie through your teeth if you have no teeth.
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7896 on: April 14, 2018, 04:12:42 pm »

Lie? Yes. Teeth? Maybe.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7897 on: April 14, 2018, 04:25:13 pm »

So, the Russian foreign minister has stated that Moscow received a special document from the Spiez lab in Switzerland, which states that the substance used in the Salisbury poisoning was not Novitsjok at all, but was in fact one of the BZ family of nerve agents produced and stockpiled by...

{dramatic pause}

...old man Smithers the United States and United Kingdom!


So, uh... I mean, if that's actually true, that's a pretty big deal. But... chances?
Chances of false flagging are low. The Russian minister is accusing the UK and USA of using an incapacitating agent which causes confusion and hallucination; the victims were not confused, they were convulsing, frothing at the mouth with their eyes white. Not mentioned is that the Swiss report confirms that the nerve agent A-234 was used... Which is a novichok agent, made only in the USSR. How forgetful these ministers are, to forget every detail which incriminates them!

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7898 on: April 14, 2018, 05:02:26 pm »

So, the Russian foreign minister has stated that Moscow received a special document from the Spiez lab in Switzerland, which states that the substance used in the Salisbury poisoning was not Novitsjok at all, but was in fact one of the BZ family of nerve agents produced and stockpiled by...

{dramatic pause}

...old man Smithers the United States and United Kingdom!


So, uh... I mean, if that's actually true, that's a pretty big deal. But... chances?
Chances of false flagging are low. The Russian minister is accusing the UK and USA of using an incapacitating agent which causes confusion and hallucination; the victims were not confused, they were convulsing, frothing at the mouth with their eyes white. Not mentioned is that the Swiss report confirms that the nerve agent A-234 was used... Which is a novichok agent, made only in the USSR. How forgetful these ministers are, to forget every detail which incriminates them!

And it was no coincidence that the chemical they accused the UK of using is stockpiled by the UK and US, right?

It's just another attempt at deflecting blame, and due to the fact that the evidence would largely be classified info, the UK can't really provide detailed proof.
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redwallzyl

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7899 on: April 14, 2018, 06:32:00 pm »

Occam's razor would point to it being almost certainly the Russians that did this.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7900 on: April 14, 2018, 06:38:16 pm »

I don't think you'd even need occams razor here.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7901 on: April 15, 2018, 04:06:45 am »

Very interesting seeing the UK, France and USA displaying their own diplomatic styles and strategy in the UN, regarding their strikes in Syria.
-UK argued that the strikes were justified using international law
-France argued that the strikes were justified as a diplomatic sanction of last resort
-USA simply threatened even more and larger strikes, saying they were "locked and loaded" for more

Magistrum

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7902 on: April 15, 2018, 07:44:44 am »

America:
             ,What can yah do?     
   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7903 on: April 15, 2018, 01:40:09 pm »

Can we, like, air strike America? Just to see what would happen?
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7904 on: April 15, 2018, 03:36:31 pm »

I second that motion.
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